(Closed) Gonna be a LOOONNGGG way to go til he Pops the Question….

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Wow we are in super similar relationships. Me and SO have been together for 7.5 years now (started in my last year of high school). We also know that we would ger married some day for what seems like forever. WE had our first real talk about getting engaged last christmas. I was getting upset at the thought of a “special present’ that he said he had for me. I realized that i really wanted it to be a ring but i knew it was not and I was driving myself crazy. 

So we had a talk and he was a little caught off guard i think. However he explained that he most certainly wanted to marry me someday but that he woudl not be proposing before i finished with law school (he thought it woudl be less stressful for me … hahahaha… right…) Anyways that was almost a year ago now and its another 5 months befgore im done with school.

I have found it compleatly impossible to shut up… its like i have verbal diarrea when it comes to engagments! I have been really trying not to say anyting, because i know that it probably stresses him out as right now a ring is sooooo NOt in the budget, but its really hard. I just keep telling myself that no matter how many comments I makea and how loud i sigh over TV engagments and wedding, its not going to come any faster….. but i wish it would.

Post # 4
Member
979 posts
Busy bee

I’m still waiting. IDK when its coming. Being patient with SO.

He’s also against proposing at Christmas and Valentine’s day because he said it’s “expected” of men and thinks it’s the worst days to get engaged, very cliche’  lol Like you said, sometimes I think he says these things to throw me off. He’s very convincing.  

Post # 5
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m waiting for a long time – well “sometime” in 2013 and I really do think it could be towards the end of it.

On the one hand it is very exciting to be discussing our marriage all the time (and we do) but on the other hand I am SO EXCITED and wild that this is going to happen. Argh!

I’m trying to be good and NOT bring it up, but he does sometimes and that makes it harder!

Post # 6
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

OK, well I have been an offical posting waiting bee for 5 months, since June 2012. We will be getting engaed within the next 3-4 months, he first started dropping hints that he wanted to get married 10 months ago, so if you add those 3-4 months that makes my offical wait time will be an approx. 1 year and 2 months. *Nods head* Not bad….

Different strokes for different folks. We have been together 5 years, Me – mid-twenties, him – 30. Living together almost 2 years

I began looking at rings in Feb after the first hint. sent him the first email of ring styles i liked in April. and kicked my wedding porn kick into high drive in July after I met his family (yes it took almost 5 years before i met his family). He brought it up again in October and Put the first payment on the ring 2 days ago. 

I did a lot of research on my own, without him. I went to Zales during my lunch hour and tried on rings to figure out what I liked, then researched online here on the Bee and my mom got me on The Knot. I am lucky to have my mom in my corner, she understood I was just gathering information so that I can be a budget conscious bride in the future. 

So gather info. draft up an optimal guest list. then make a bare bones minimum guest list. Do a mock-up budget, just so that you can wrap your head around everything THEN figure out how much time you need to execute the blasted thing. 

When that is done, put it away and work on achieveing the things you want/need to do before you would want to settle down. SO and I have a list of individual goals/task we have to accomplish before we walk down the isle and legaly bind ourselves to one another.

Post # 7
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

don’t let it kill you, just enjoy the relationship and try to relax about. You reallydon’t want to spend a year of your life anxious over something that is inevitable

Post # 8
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Welcome to waiting! Hopefully you can enjoy anticipating the proposal instead of driving yourself batty the whole time, but let’s be honest, there will probably be some of both… I had the timeline conversation with my boyfriend in October and he said his goal was to be married within 2 years from that conversation. And we’ve always talked about having an engagement that lasted approximately 1 year… So there you go. While it could happen any day now (I mean, technically everyone has that possibility… Maybe our SOs have been really sneaky and are throwing us off their trail!), from subsequent conversations it sounds like it will be closer to the 1-year out mark. We’re waiting to not be so broke and feel like we can afford to get married, support ourselves, have a wedding, etc… and that is feeling like it is SUCH a long ways off right now. Personally, I think meeting that goal in 1 year is unlikely, but then again a lot can happen in a year.

I guess the best piece of advice I can give is to keep an open dialogue, and to try to keep things in perspective; you love each other, you have a good relationship as is! I told my SO that if he needs to change the timing, that’s fine, but to please let me know so I don’t drive myself crazy! I don’t want him to feel pressured, and I certainly don’t want him to feel like something has come up that will necessitate waiting longer, and he doesn’t know how to tell me for fear of disappointing me. You can do some research on your own regarding rings, weddings, etc… And then if/when it does come up, you’ll have some ideas. I brought rings up to my SO a few weeks after we had the timeline converstaion, just to let him know what page I was on with that (I was thinking we could ask my dad for my late mother’s rings). I’m glad I said something, because it turns out he had a family ring he was planning on proposing with! If I’d never said anything, I would assume that the lead-up to a proposal might include scrimping and saving or secret phone calls to a jeweler, and as it happens that won’t necessarily be the case.  

I know this can be confusing and frustrating, but follow your gut and have the conversations that you feel like you need to have. And post here whenever you’re having a bad waiting day, everyone is very supportive. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
598 posts
Busy bee

I too have been with my SO since I was 17. Six years later at 23 I am really starting to get antsy about getting married or at least getting engaged. SO is done with graduate school and has been working full time for over a year saving up money for a house (he wants a house first, then get married.) According to him, he said he will hopefully be able to buy a house by the middle of next year(2013.)

I am currently not working due to nursing school and I will not be graduating until May 2015 which is a long ways away. Originally we planned on getting married while I was in nursing school, but things don’t always work out as planned I guess! When I asked again whether we would get married during or after nursing school, his response was: can we take it one step at a time first because he needs money for these things to happen, and that he is going to try and get a house this coming year hopefully and then we’ll think about that.

While I don’t want an expensive wedding, I would at least want the ring before I graduate (which I told him.) Like you said, it is so upsetting to see people who have been together for only 2-3 years getting engaged and married, while I’ve been with him for 6 and I don’t even know or have any CLUE as to when we will even get ENGAGED, let alone married.

Unfortunately I don’t see him proposing until I am done with nursing school which is really depressing, but it is out of my hands. I constantly ask him and he always tells me the same thing so I don’t want to get too annoying by bringing it up once a week! What is also annoying is how everyone (friends/family) keep asking “So when are you getting married already?” All I can do is shrug. Oh well. 

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