(Closed) Good idea or am I just being morbid?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you have a living will/trust/estate plannning/etc?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    54 %
    No : (5 votes)
    38 %
    Other (because there's always an other?) : (1 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Yes. Absolutely 100% you should have a living will/advanced directive. I do not want some of the common life saving practices no matter how young I am, so I’ve made sure my family and husband are aware and we have the proper documents. Darling Husband and I are each other’s health care proxies. You never know what could happen and you don’t want your loved ones trying to figure out what to do while you’re badly injured or sick. It’s not morbid at all. I am 24 and Darling Husband is 30.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    absolutely.  I’m 41 Fiance is 40.  We’ll be doing living wills and a regular will.  Why wouldn’t you?  You never know what’s going to happen, sadly.

    Make sure your loved ones are aware of your wishes as well.  My brother is tired of me telling him that I want to be an organ donor but if Fiance and I die together, well, he won’t have to guess what I’d want.

    Life insurance!  You must get it.  Check and see how much you have at work and then buy something on your own.  If  you quit or get fired your work policy no longer exists.   

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I definitely think you should have a living will and a regular will. The other day I was just asking my husband if he’d want to be kept alive in a vegetative state…it’s hard to think about it but you need to know the other person’s wishes and they need to know yours. We are 24 and 26 and I’ve gone through the Living Will/Will wizard thing on the Suze Orman site I just haven’t gotten it notarized.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    We both have wills and a prenup I am 22 my Darling Husband is 38.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We are 31 and 30. We have living wills and regular wills. If you have assets, then you bet your butt you better have a will. I also have trusts set up for my step-son, niece, and nephew and as soon as my little one is born, I will set up one for him as well.

    Plus I have to be honest, my parents would let me rot in bed for 30 years as a vegetable if they could. I wouldn’t want that. I would want them to pull the plug and not get into a fight with Darling Husband about it. So it’s written down, and no one would be able to fight about what they think I would want.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I had my living will and advance directives made when I was 28. As a nurse I’ve seen the downside to not having them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    28 and I’ve had a living will set up since I was about 21, plus telling everyone in my family my wishes so they all know and are on the same page

    Not morbid at all, its reality. We are all going to die, and some might really need a living will to live out their last days as they wish. You are being smart!

    Post # 10
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Epyon:  I’ve had one since I was 18 because I seriously do not want to be buried in a box. I want to be cremated, and I make sure everyone knows this. You should have one to let people know who you want making decisions for you at least. There are sooooo many cases where there are Parents and a Husband and the husband gets the shaft on the decision making because the wife did not have a living will. I am a social work major and we spend so much of our time talking about issues like this. Living wills are not morbid they are just smart. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Darling Husband and I are both 28.  We do not have anything legally documented yet, but we are aware of each other’s wishes, (my parents know my wishes as well, though I don’t know if he had discussed anything with his parents).  I do plan to get a will of some sort made up, but I guess we’ve been lazy about doing so because we already know what we want.

    I think it’s important to make your family aware of your wishes, preferably in a legally documented way.  My husband’s grandfather died two years ago.  He had cancer, and Mother-In-Law and he had many discussions as to what he wanted for his funeral.  His wife, however, refused to accept that he was dying and refused to discuss things with him.  After he died, we had a meeting to plan the funeral, and honnestly, what he got was so far from what he wanted.  Everything that was brought up that HE wanted was overridden by his wife for what SHE wanted.  After the meeting, I asked my Mother-In-Law to PLEASE make it clear what she and Father-In-Law wanted to we didn’t deal with that again.

    Post # 12
    Member
    631 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We don’t plan on having a pre-nup (we don’t have a ton of assets) but we are close to getting wills set up, I think it’s incredibly important especially since we have children. Fiance and I know what each other wants in the case of us being unable to do for ourselves, but that living will thing is so important because no one can argue with it. People considered it “morbid” when I got life insurance on my children at very young ages and that completely confused me. I have a good friend (my FI’s best man) who works for a funeral home. He sees grieving parents come in all too frequently not prepared for their child’s unexpected death. My own in-laws went into debt paying for their daughter’s unexpected buriel costs. Anything that protects your assets/finances and makes it easier on your children/family if worse comes to worse is not a premature or morbid action.

     

    Edit: Fiance and I are 27 and 26 respectively. He’ll be 28 and I’ll be 27 when we’re married. And FWIW, also make sure to keep your wills updated with beneficiary info, etc. My parents never updated theirs and when they passed away this led to a ton of legal crap.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We both have wills, living wills and life/injury insurance. Dh is a police officer and it’s stronglysuggested at his workplace and I just figured it was a good idea in general. The last thing i would want is my family trying to guess my wishes during such a difficult time. Dh wants to be kept alive by any means necessary and I have more scenarios where I wouldn’t want such extreme measures but we agree to carry out each others preferences. We’re 28 and 32.

    @DeadUtopia:  I agree. A good rule of thumb is that everybody should carry at least enough life insurancethe pay for theirburial/cremation/funeral of choice. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I set up my living will years ago, when the Terri Schiavo case was all over the media. I told my parents there was no way I was going to put my family through the fighting and the uncertainty and “what would she want?” and “we have the right to decide” mess. NO. WAY. My living will makes it very clear what my wishes are and who has the power of attorney to make decisions related to my healthcare, finances and other matters if I am incapacitated temporarily or permanently. 

    This is not morbid. It’s a good thing for everyone.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee

    @Epyon:  Yes!  And I don’t want to threadjack but you should also have adequate life insurance and disability insurance if you’re working.  You are much more likely to become disabled than die but it’s something that most people don’t consider.

    Post # 16
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We both have wills, living wills and life/injury insurance. Dh is a police officer and it’s stronglysuggested at his workplace and I just figured it was a good idea in general. The last thing i would want is my family trying to guess my wishes during such a difficult time. Dh wants to be kept alive by any means necessary and I have more scenarios where I wouldn’t want such extreme measures but we agree to carry out each others preferences. We’re 28 and 32.

    @DeadUtopia:  I agree. A good rule of thumb is that everybody should carry at least enough life insurancethe pay for theirburial/cremation/funeral of choice. 

    The topic ‘Good idea or am I just being morbid?’ is closed to new replies.

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