Post # 1
So I had my rhinoplasty last monday. The cast was taken off a few days ago. I feel so so about my new nose right now, but this is apparently totally normal. It’s an improvement, but my nose is SO swollen right now. I have a nice slope now, but my tip is a little bulbous. I don’t think that people who don’t know me would be able to tell, but I’m having anxiety about going back to work tomorrow and worry about what everyone will say. I don’t sit in a cubicle somewhere, my desk is in a lobby, I work in a huge building and see thousands of people every day, many of which know me very well.
So basically my coworkers, who I am around a lot every day, will most likely notice that I have a new nose. To avoid them speculating, talking about me, or me having to explain myself tens of times, I was thinking of sending them a message saying something like:
“Hi everyone- I took last week off to have a procedure done that I had contemplated for years. I finally decided to address some functional breathing issues that had been plaguing me, affecting my sleep and energy as well as an aesthetic reconstruction. Please be understanding as I continue to heal and the swelling goes down. Thanks!”
Everyone is super nice, and I get along with everyone, but they do like to “talk” and gossip, and I am having so much anxiety that I’m going to be the subject of discussion around the office. 🙁
If sending the message is a bad idea, how do I address people if they say something? I’m not trying to hide anything, but I do feel a little silly going back to work with this new nose. Not sure what to do.
Post # 3
You don’t have to explain anything! You decided to get the procedure done so own up to it. You’re worrying over nothing. Just breathe, relax and go to work. If you do say something I would not explain that it was for breathing, sleep and a little aesthtic nudge. That will likely provoke more gossip. I immedietely think it’s a cop out when someone had told this to me in the past. I’m like “yeah, sleep issues, she wanted a nose job and that’s all she had to say!”
Post # 4
don’t send an email but know that there will be gossip and talking behind your back regardless if you will email or not. I just think address it case by case, to those who ask and to those who look like they really, really want to ask.
Post # 5
I am sorry why should care what your co workers think? Seriously all the email/note is going to do is draw attention to it. Unless said co workers are good friends I wouldn’t explain a thing
Post # 6
I think if it will make you feel better, and have less anxiety about it, you should send it. Even if you dont really care what they think- it might just ease your mind so you aren’t worried that they are talking behind your back.
ETA- I DO think it may draw more attention to it, but if you already think they are going to notice, then what is the difference?
Post # 7
I wouldn’t say anything preemptively. If you hear of somebody saying “MissTaken looks like she got a nose job!” just jokingly say back “Well, duh. I thought it was obvious that I had reconstruction?”
People expect you to hide the fact you had it done like it’s some shameful thing, so if you call them out on it if you hear gossip, then they will shut up.
Post # 8
Yeah, all true. I’m not going to say anything. I’m excited that I got it done. I’m not ashamed! And I’m not going to care what anyone says. And if people do talk about me, hopefully I won’thear about it lol. I don’t need to give anyone an explanation or excuse but if anyone asks, I won’t hide it, I’ll be very open 🙂 I’m lucky to work somewhere where I truly do love everyone I work with. It might be big news at first but everyone will forget. Plus I’m getting my hair highlighted. If anyone says I look different I’ll blame it on the hair lol!
Post # 9
I wouldn’t say anything.
I had my nose done 6 months ago (it’s still a bit swollen- btw!) and I went back to work 2 days later with the cast on and bruises under my eyes. Everyone knew I was having a procedure on my nose (I told them that). My office is small though and no one cares.
Message me if you want to talk about the healing process. It is a LONG process.
Post # 10
I don’t think you need to e-mail them in advance–but do address it if it is very noticeable or if someone asks in person.
We had a co-worker (small department of 6 women) come to work one day with really dark eyebrows–she used to have sparse eyebrows–and suddenly there she was looking like Groucho Marx and acting like nothing ever happened! It looked like she got them tattooed, but she once our boss finally asked, she said it was a special eyebrow pencil! (She actually did get them tattooed and lied about it). I think that if you make a change that is dramatically noticeable and you are around people 9-5 M-F, a person shouldn’t lie about something notiecable. But it sounds like you are not ashamed…and congrats 🙂
Post # 11
There will be gossip no matter what, but to be honest, if I got a message like this, I would feel like you did want to show it off and call attention to it.
Congratulations on your surgery though, super exciting!
Post # 12
@MissTaken: I wouldn’t say anything… the “please be understanding” sounds a little condescending to me anyway. Just explain briefly if someone notices, that would make it less of a big deal and quell drama (not that there should be any).
Post # 13
@MissTaken: good idea to blame it on hair! however you can make a joke about it… saying “what…? my hair is different? or is it my nose job?” and laugh. That shows you’re more than open to talking about it and are not ashamed.
Post # 14
Yeah, I wouldn’t send an email. As a PP said, people will talk anyways. And I hope the healing process goes well for you 🙂
Post # 15
Do you have a friend in the office, someone you trust? I would have them spread around the word that you had a procedure done to improve your breathing and that you may be sensitive to any comments you might get. This person could stop any gossiping or at least make sure everyone knew the truth.