(Closed) GOOD NEWS: Divorce rate is NOT 50%.

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I like this too – and yeah, we doing pretty well. We’ve been together over 3 years, no kids, both college educated, my parents have been married almost 40 years (first marriage for both), and although his parents are divorced, both of his parents remarried and have been with their spouses for over 25 years. So, lots of long-term marriage success karma there.
Whew, looks like we’ll make it! Winktehee

Post # 33
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I always knew that statistic was full of it.

Post # 34
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

College educated – check!

No kids – check!

I’ll turn 25 the week after our wedding and he’ll be 28 the week before – half check?

3 years – just under – half check?

Parents divorced… his are, mine would be if my dad was alive-  no check

 

So basically 2 full and 2 halves = 3 right? LOL

Post # 35
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

People like us who care about our wedding and marriage I think are much better off than the whole 50% thing. I think there are a LOT of careless marriages where it’s not something like what we’re all experiencing. We need some sort of curve, LOL

Post # 36
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is great. When looking at any statistics, you really should be comparing apples to apples. A loving, committed, adult relationship responsibly entering into a marriage is going to have a much different rate of success than a shotgun wedding after a teen pregnancy, for example. I think some of us are miscounting the checklist though! There were five things! We have… 3 out of five. But it’ll be over 2.5 years together once we have our wedding, and his parents are still happily married. Sooo, I think those two put together make one more. 4 outta five’s pretty good! 🙂

Post # 37
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

WOOT You go Virginia Marie! I’ve ALWAYS hated those statistics and always felt like they were a bunch of bull. I wonder what the statistic is if one is over 25 and the other isn’t. LOL. It’s nice to know what I’ve been saying all these years “you learn from your parents on how to have a good relationship” is sorta true. My parents have been married for 36yrs (37 in OCT), his grandparents (the ppl who raised him) have been married 33yrs. So we qualify for that one, the not having a kid one, and half of the over 25 one, we’ve been together over 3yrs and we’re both receiving our college degree. . . I feel really good about myself now. Maybe that’s a little sad that knowing a dumb old statistic is wrong makes me feel good, but it does. So boo-yah to all the nay-sayers

Post # 38
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

yayyy!!!! we are both pushin 30, no kids, college educated, and parents are still together! 🙂 4/4!!!

Post # 39
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

4/4 (my parents were still married when my father died a few years ago)…so according to North American standards, we’re doing good!

By according to Korean divorce statistics, we are in the worst category (international marriage). Then again, those statistics as skewed by the fact that most of these kinds of marriages are between ‘mail order bride’ couples…so again..maybe statistically we;re okay.

Post # 40
Member
3761 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is definitaly what I tell myself when I think about getting married.  I know we are both adults (over 25) who have been together a while (almost three years) who are well education ( I have an MBA, he doesn’t though), and who’s parents are still together (on both sides!).

I also know that as a couple we both view marriage as a life long committment.  We are well aware that we may have our “up and downs” but in the end we made a committment to each other.

Post # 41
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Haha that’s great!  Just recently an often miserable friend of a friend made a comment to me about how scary marriage is, how it’s more of a commitment than having a child (??) and that most end in divorce anyway (she’s never been married).  I just smiled at her.  It would have been nice to have this stat then!

Post # 42
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We both came from divorced homes and dont want that for our future. We rebel against our past and want better lives for us.  Our parents are single and lonely now and honestly pretty miserable, I know if they can change things they would. 

Post # 43
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

YAy!! Thanks for sharing this…

Over 25  – um, yes (28/34 when married)

College Educated – yes!

Together at least 3yrs. – um YES!!!  (7 years before marriage!)

Both sets of parents still married – Yes!

No children before marriage – Check!

SO we have good odds!  Stupid statistic!

Post # 44
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We’re 4/4, but I love statistics.  Interpreted correctly they can be extremely powerful sources of information.  It’s not surprise that I use statistics in my research.  Statistics *can* be manipulated, but if you read the original research and interpret the studies correctly you can actually check if there has been misinterpretation.

Of course the divorce rate for pediatricians is down around 10-15%, but then again that’s just statistics!

Post # 45
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

LOVE this thread!

Fiance and I are over the age of 25, college educated, our parents are both married, and we just had our 3 year a couple of wks ago! 😉

we’ll have been together 3 years, 8 months by wedding time!

 

woooohoooo for NO DIVORCE!

Post # 46
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@snake: it’s character, not college that makes a man (a person) a man…your dad has even greater character to have taken care of his family, THEN gotten the education (certification) needed to further his career.  I hope that I (a college educated, state-certified teacher) will have the same kind of character to further myself after I have kids.  Kudos to him!

@tammy112: I think the “lesson” you both learned from the difficulties both your sets of parents faced (and sadly, failed to overcome) is the greater lesson.  While those of us who grew up with parents who stayed together have that emotional stability, some of those parents didn’t solve their problems in a way that helps their children learn to solve problems within their relationships. For example: My aunt & uncle are still together, but my aunt has given up most things that made her “her”- career, friendships, outings w/o uncle – to the point that her daughter is only now dealing with the fact that her own relationships fail because she clings too much to her boyfriends & suffocates them.  You & your Fiance are probably WAY ahead of her in dealing with any problems within your relationship.

As for me & Fiance:

  • over 25: we’ll both be 33 by wedding day
  • college educated: he’s got 2 BAs & an MFA; I’ve got 2 BAs & an M. Ed.
  • 3+ years: 12 years together by wedding day
  • no kids: check
  • parents together: his married for 40 years, mine for 35

I like our prospects! But, like PPs have said…those facts alone don’t make a successful marriage.  Working at staying together & making each other happy are some other, valid keys to a successful marriage, regardless of age, education, marital or parental history.  If Fiance & I don’t practice these last things, it won’t matter that we’re 5/5 according to statistics…so work, we will!

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