- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
Oh, where to begin…
The saying goes, “When it rains, it pours.” I’ve experienced this throughout my life, in relation to both positive and negative things. Right now, I’m experiencing the “rain” on maximum overdrive, and I just need a place to release all of the stress and energy I have kept bottled up inside me, for fear of driving people away.
(It probably doesn’t happen that, in the time I’ve taken to type this already, I’ve used 3 tissues to quell my head cold. Gross!)
Everything was *fairly* normal until last Thursday night, when my dad messaged SO and I with links to foreclosed homes in our desired location (about 20 mins north of where we rent now). I posted about this on the home board, but the bottom line comes down to: my dad wants to help us purchase our first home. We are beyond excited, and have spent a few days looking at properties (mostly fixer-uppers) in the area. I fell in love with one and the three of us walked through it on Saturday, and while I could see us having cookouts while our hypothetical-someday-children chased a few goofy bassets around the yard, it turned out the house was not feasible, mostly because it was a cash-only auction, combined with the amount of TLC it needed to be a house that we could live in. Driving away in SO’s Jeep felt like we were driving away from a dream. Dramatic on my part? Yes. Dad has told us that he wants to keep looking with us, so we have made an appointment with a highly-recommended real estate agent for next week, and are working toward getting pre-approved for a (fairly modest, in this area) mortgage.
I’ve already had my first stress dream about house-hunting, though this is something that was only on the radar in an abstract way before (really) Saturday. Neither SO nor I have fantastic credit due to mismanagement in our early 20s (we are 26 and 28 now), and Dad hasn’t been very concrete in terms of numbers and money he’s willing to spend. I am fairly confident that he will be borrowing the money from his savings, and I have every intention of paying him back. I am stressed about owing that much money to my dad, stressed about property taxes, and stressed about finding a property that SO and I both love. We have very different opinions in terms of neighborhoods and areas of the town that we want to live in, but whenever we try to discuss it, SO basically concedes to the, “We’ll just have to see what’s out there” philosophy. I agree, but it doesn’t mean that the whole process seems any less daunting.
To make matters a bit more complicated – I will have to find a new job, as my job will be 1.5 hrs away from where we hope our new home will be. Finding a teaching job in my subject is fairly competitive, and, frankly, I’m not sure I want a teaching job, anyway. We are moving to a small college town, with the closest major city being 45 minutes-1 hr away. I am trying to cut down my commute time drastically, (a) because it’s costing me an arm and a leg in fuel and (b) because I want more time to spend with my SO and on developing my own hobbies and interests (seriously – being a high school teacher with an hour commute each way leaves time for grading, cooking, and housework. That’s about it). I am trying to take care of myself for the first time in…well, really, ever. I don’t have any corporate experience, really, but am hoping to break into a line of work that will challenge me and be rewarding. I have had a few bites, but am afraid of leaving before the school year is over, especially for a significant pay cut. We have figured out that, between paying out my retirement and the extra $ I will get over the summer (I have my check split up so I get paid year-round instead of 22 pay periods), I will be able to pay off virtually all of my revolving debt and my car loan. This will put us in a position where we will be able to save significantly, and maybe allow us to put away money for the house, or a wedding, or *gasp* JUST TO SAVE 🙂
Between these two huge life things, I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I am so lucky to have a sweet SO who is sensitive to my needs, understanding of my emotions, and supportive of my decisions. It just feels like there is a lot to think about/worry about/take into consideration with all of this, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. It feels like so much all at once, even though they are excellent things that are positive steps forward for my future.
I’m in serious need of orange juice and a snack, and some basset hound snuggles when I get home.
I don’t want people to think I’m driving the wahhmbulance on this one – I know I’m not the first person to ever have these things happen, and to complain would be a complete #firstworldproblems moment. I’m not complaining…I’m just not sure where to start.