Post # 1
Hi all you lovely ladies!
I just want opinions on ring costs/origins, etc. Now, we all know it’s about the lasting marriage and not the cost of a ring, but every girl still has her opinion on this matter I think..
Would you be okay if your SO picked out an old, dirty ring at Goodwill or some other thrift store, or at Walmart because he’s the type of guy that thinks $10 jeans are too spendy?
My boyfriend is the type of guy who, while still in school, will buy his parents a car (not really expensive, but still…) but not spend more than $40 on a present for me. I know it isn’t about the money amount, but his presents are normally something I can’t use – and I’m a very practical person (aside from jewelry – which he has never gotten me).
So with my SO, I don’t think I’d be too happy. Just wanted other thoughts.
Post # 3
@chevaldame: An old, dirty ring? No, I wouldn’t be happy about that. But if it was a good quality ring at a great price because it was secondhand, and he took it to get it inspected and polished and prettied up before proposing? I’d be very happy in that case. A guy with his priorities in place is a catch in my book.
My ering was the diamond that was in DH’s grandmother’s engagement ring. We had it reset in a different setting because I preferred white gold, but I treasure it because it came from family.
Post # 4
@Jijitattoo: That says that he put thought into it! I agree, a guy who has his priorities in order is a good find! If my SO cleaned up the ring, etc. and knew I would like it, then I’d be thrilled! Sadly, my SO does not posess the forethought of “I probably should have this inspected” :p
Post # 5
Going to be honest here and I’m going to stick to the goodwill part only. I would not mind a ring from a thrift store as long as I got to pick it. If he 100% wanted to pick the ring without your help and picked the first ring he saw at the first goodwill he went…well then thats a different story.
By The Way, what is your ring budget?
Post # 6
@chevaldame: I would be 100% fine with it. I do not care about brand names or anything like that. It gets the job done, and he was thinking about you when he got it, and that is all that matters. Why would you spend $1000 when you can get a ring for WAY less at a thrift store?
I grew up very poor (not lower-middle class, seriously poor/nothing in our home except for 3 mattresses for the 7 of us-no beds, and the few clothes we had, and I got free lunches from school and that was all I ate most days) and I feel like that has taught me that it is not what it costs/where it comes from that matters, but the most important thing is to just be thankful for what you have, no matter what.
I feel that growing up poor really made me to be a more grateful person, and less materialistic. I don’t take things for granted. Like, at least he loved me enough to want to marry me and get me a ring… who cares if its from Goodwill?
I wish more people could see that its not the pricetag/place of purchase that matters.
Post # 7
@chevaldame: I would rather get a thoughtful proposal, no ring and buy my own, over getting a cheap, dingy gross ring with no thought of if you’d like it or not. I’d rather get an onion ring proposal over a gross ring.
There’s one thing to be thrifty and get a good deal/ or a ring secondhand that is something that you would like/wear, and there’s another thing to be just plain cheap.
Post # 8
@sheepandbear: My ring budget is 3-4k, putting into consideration the types of styles I like. My SO on the other hand… I have no idea. We are in a reluctant agreement that a proposal is at least 2-3 years away, so he doesn’t think it’s necessary to discuss budgets, etc. at this point.
Post # 9
@chic_and_fabulous: Yum! Onion ring! 🙂 I agree, I’d rather go get a ring I like myself and just have him give me a thoughtful proposal.
Post # 10
@chevaldame: I am guilty of voting before reading. A ring from Goodwill? Sure, why not? A dirty, costume jewelry ring from Goodwill, eh no thanks. He doesn’t have to spend a fortune, but real gold or platinum would be a must for me.
Post # 11
@chevaldame: “old dirty ring” is one thing… but if he found a beautiful ring that he knew I’d like (more likely since I’m a fan of antique style jewelry) at Goodwill or an estate sale or something I would be ecstatic. I don’t care where it comes from or how much it costs, I care that he puts thought into what I would like.
Post # 12
I agree, it’s all about the thought. I wouldn’t care where it came from as long as there was a good, personal reason he picked it out. I feel like if the roles were reversed I would do the same, regardless of the cost. I would also prefer that it be made of a metal that will withstand daily wear, since I’d want to wear it forever 🙂
Post # 13
As long as it had amazing specs and was in great shape (and he had it professionally cleaned and looked at) and the ring was beautiful I wouldn’t care if it was from goodwill.
I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER get a ring from a thrift store because I’ve had too much jewelry (and I’ve had family members who have had too much jewelry) stolen and sold to thrift stores who have made me purchase my own jewelry back when I identified the pieces even after the police were involved (jewelry stolen once but it was multiple pieces that I later found at a thrift store). I couldn’t imagine wearing any piece of jewelry someone may have loved and had stolen from them. At goodwill you know that the ring was donated rather than sold by someone who may or may not have been the actual owner.
Post # 14
@MrsChristopher: I work at a pawn shop. We do sometimes have jewelry that had end up being stolen. Yes, the original owners were required to purchase the items back for what we had given for them, why? Because we purchased an item with the intent to sell the item to make a profit, we are out as well when the item cannot be resold due to being stolen. The officer in your case should have noted the price you paid for your items in the perpetrators restitution amount owed. If he did not that would be his fault, not that of the thrift store owners. Just wanted to note that information.
On another note, many items that have been donated to Goodwill could possibly been a mistake or the wrong box could have been taken, so even goodwill items could have a sad story behind them as well.
I agree with other PP’s if my SO found a good deal on a quality ring and cleaned, polished and inspected the ring I would be happy. Just buying some dingy ring and handing it to me and saying “here you go” probably wouldn’t fly with me, some effort would need to be out into it for sure.
Post # 15
@BushelAndAPeck: I understand the reasoning but that’s exactly why I refuse to give my money to pawn shops. The guy was never found, but if he had been I’m sure he would have had to pay for it, but even then it wouldn’t have changed my feelings toward purchasing jewelry from pawn shops.
Post # 16
I voted no but I need to explain my vote.
If he picked just any dirty old ring from a cheap place and spent no time thinking about the style that I would like or the quality of the ring, thinking only about spending as little as possible and the ring he got me clearly reflected that, I must admit I would be offended.
However, if he got me a ring I loved but got an amazing deal because it was vintage/second hand/from a less than fancy shop, I wouldn’t mind one bit!