Post # 1
So I got a dress from Dressilyme and I HATED it. It wasn’t even so much the quality but the style was alllll wrong for me. I hated it more and more every time I looked at it.
Anywho, I ordered another dress and it’s here and I like it so problem solved. My mom knows cause I was talking to her through the whole process. My sister (and MOH) doesn’t. She still thinks I have the other dress. I am resistant to tell her because she is SUPER judgmental and negative. She would love love love to know that my first gown didn’t work just to rub it in my face or make fun of me later (sadly this is the truth).
Now, do I tell her or just wait for her to see it at the wedding, she’s going to realize it’s a different dress she was there when I bought it…..or will she? Could I play it off like “what are you talking about dummy, of course this is the same dress.” Or do I tell her the other dress didn’t work.
It’s semi important because I’m trying to accessorize and the dresses are completely different. If I were to ask her about something, she would obviously be thinking about the other dress.
What to do?
Post # 3
Gosh, she sounds kind of awful – it’s unfortunate that you have her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, given how judgemental and negative you say she is. I understand the complexity of family though – I guess you had no choice?
If I were you, I wouldn’t mention it to her at all. Do you have other bridesmaids or trusted friends who can give you advice and feedback on how to style the new dress? Hopefully she’ll be able to keep her negativity to herself on your wedding day, but if she brings it up I would simply say that you changed your mind, and went for a different style. Simple as that, and you shouldn’t feel the need to have to justify your decision to her.
Post # 4
Well you don’t HAVE to tell anyone anything.
How involved was she in the wedding dress purchasing process? If she helped you pick out the first I feel like it would be awkward not to say anything.
If you just showed it to her once I wouldn’t worry about talking to her about it. It’s your decision, don’t worry about her opinion.
Post # 5
@peonyinparis: yeah it’s pretty bad but there’s nothing I can do about it. THere is no one else in the wedding party. Just my sister as the Maid/Matron of Honor and his brother as the Bridesmaid or Best Man. It is a very small Destination Wedding of only 25-30 people.
Post # 6
@AlwaysSunny: She was there when I was almost sure that was the dress I was getting and actually said she didn’t like it. I was having straps added to the dress and it just made it all wrong. I also sent her pics of the dress from Dressilyme when it came in but did not get any comment back about it. However, I do think they are different enough where she could tell the difference. THe old one had straps with a key hole back and was beaded lace, the new one is strapless and organza
Post # 7
No need to bring on unnecessary aggravation.
Post # 8
WHY the feel that you need to share ?
I am an Older Bee… and for the life of me I don’t understand this concept.
When I got married the first time (circa 1980) … I didn’t share details of my Wedding Planning stuff with anyone.
My Groom, and My Parents (and his Parents to some extent) knew the details.
Styling – Venues – Colours – Menu – B&G Attire etc…
Everyone else was out of the loop entirely… they were only given info on a NEED TO KNOW BASIS (ie it concerned them)
Everything else they found out on the Wedding Day…
No harm done. They got to be surprised as much as every other Guest.
Post # 9
@This Time Round: My sister and mom came with me for trying on dresses because I needed some kind of help. But now it seems to have back fired!
Post # 10
Did she psy for it? Ofcourse not, its none of her business.
Post # 11
While you’re under no obligation to tell her…you should. If she tries to rub it in your face, brush it off. Say, “Yeah, so what? I have a dress I love. You can have the other one if you want.” Who cares if she’s bratty? It’s your wedding, and you should be able to talk about your dress with whomever you choose!
Post # 12
@Lily_of_the_valley: Tell her, but dont tell her why you ordered another… if she asks just say you found something you fell in love with even more. 🙂
if she gets all judgy about you ordering a second dress kindly offer her your original dress at a discounted price since she loves it so much 🙂
Post # 13
@Lily_of_the_valley: Tell her, but dont tell her why you ordered another… if she asks just say you found something you fell in love with even more. 🙂 If you want to change your mind another 7 times you can… because its your wedding, your choice… not hers.
if she gets all judgy about you ordering a second dress kindly offer her your original dress (at a discounted price of course) 🙂
Post # 14
If your Maid/Matron of Honor will judge you and rub something in your face, my first thought is to find a new Maid/Matron of Honor.
Your dress really isn’t anyones business but your own.
If you want to coordinate maybe ask the ladies on the Bee.
I eloped when I got married, so therefore had no one to ask questions to really, so I asked the bee.
Post # 15
Its your day you can wear what ever you wish without judgement from other people despite where it comes from or what it looks like however to save any unnecessary stress on the day i would tell her before hand. If shes going to be judgemental and hurt your feelings let her do it well and truely before your special day!!!
Post # 16
@Lily_of_the_valley: Are the dresses similar enough that you could pass the second one off as the first one after some heavy alterations? Then you could keep that information to yourself until the wedding day, and if she says something, respond with “Yeah, the alterations really brought my look together! I’m so happy with how they turned out, it’s like having a custom-made gown!”