(Closed) got any silly jokes?

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have one that I never thought was as dirty as it is, I’ve always thought it was just cute. (If you don’t like a slightly dirty joke, turn away now! lol)

What did the egg say to the boiling water?  It may take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid this morning!

Post # 4
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My son is 4 and likes to tell knock knock jokes that make no sense, except this one, it was hilarious.

Son: Knock Knock

Daddy: Who’s There?

Son: Cheese

Daddy: Cheese Who?

Son: Cheesy like all your jokes daddy!

 

I almost died I was laughing so hard

Post # 5
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

FI’s favorite…

What did the snail say while riding on a turtle?

“WEEEEEE!!!!”

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Two sausages are frying in a pan.

One sausage says to the other “my goodness, it’s getting warm in here!”

What does the other sausage say?

“Oh my god, a talking sausage!!!!”

 

ETA-this is my all time favorite joke.  I told it to my SO on our first date.  Why he went out with me a second time, I have no idea.  He now, 11 years later begs me to tell it when he’s in a sour mood.  🙂

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I grew up in the yo mama generation… Tongue Out

 

Yo mama’s so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama’s so country she thought matching luggage was two shopping bags from the same store.

Yo mama’s so old she farted and dust came out.

 

I don’t know if it’s funny or sad that I could keep going all night with these.

Post # 10
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

This is my FAVE… But delivery might be important…

 

A panda bear walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says “I’ll have a rum……………………

 

And coke” 

The bartender says, “what’s with the pause?” 

The panda looks down at his hands (usually just do this, don’t say it) ” what, these? I’ve had em my whole life!”

 

Def doesn’t translate to a written joke. Sigh. 

Post # 11
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

A nurse friend told me this one:

Knock knock.

Who’s there

HIPA

HIPA who?

I can’t tell you.

Post # 13
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?…………..He drank his coffee before it was cool.

How do you make a tissue dance?………………Put a little boogie in it.

What does a nosey pepper do?…………………..Get Jalapino business

Where does the king keep his his armies?………..In his SLEEVIES!!!

 

Ok…. That is enough from me. I love silly jokes though.

Post # 15
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@axeyourmakeupkit:  One of my older sisters loved the country ones, she used to crack me up when I was little.

 

Here’s one that’s fitting for the Bee: yo mama’s so country her wedding cake was made out of cornbread. Tongue Out

Post # 16
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Lol.  My SO has lots of yo momma so fat jokes.

My jokes are all fit for five year olds.

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