(Closed) Got dumped for the 2nd time. My heart is pretty much shredded

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Wait so he said you were acting like you werent doing anything with your life and he’s calling you a liar because you didnt tell him you lost your job? Did he expect you to run home to him that same day knowing he would probably have blamed you for losing the job? He’s not supportive and especially through the trying times. Do you want someone thats only willing to be there when you’re having ups and is not there(as a shoulder to cry on even) in tougher times?

Stop getting back with him. You deserve much better. I think you should also focus on school for now….no dating. take a step back, focus on education and the right guy will come along. its okay babe. 

Post # 3
7683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Liss13:  I agree with purrrbaby:   Someone WILL come along that will treat you how you deserve to be treated.  Someday you will be so glad that you won’t even remember this guy.  Do something nice for yourself, eat ice cream and/or chocolate. Focus on yourself, the right guy will come along. 

Post # 4
938 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Guy is a Class A Asshole… he did you a favor.  Count your blessings, girl!  There’s a reason “for better or worse, richer or poorer,” is in marriage vows… because you don’t abandon someone you love when they are down on their luck or struggling, you tackle it together.  He was never willing to tackle anything with you.  Hardships come and go in EVERY relationship; no life is smooth sailing.  He will NEVER find someone who is perfect…

Post # 5
143 posts
Blushing bee

Reality check: the guy you SHOULD be with and the guy you WANT to be with should be so so SO much more supportive than your ex. Instead of getting on your case and making you feel worse, he should be the guy that is trying to help you and make you feel BETTER. When you lose your job, you should be thinking, “at least I know I have my SO there for me”…not fearing that he is going to dump you again. He sounds like a prick that isn’t ready enough, mature enough, or into you enough to stick it out with you through the end. Verdict: he is NOT marriage material, so try not to feel bad about this all! 

Post # 6
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


Liss13:  it does seems like your life is a mess. you should focus on getting finished with your studies and getting a job. How old are the two of you? May be without him always ready to blame you it will be easier to put your life together.

Post # 7
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound mean but aren’t you tired of all this drama? All this back-and-forwards, and crying, and lying and not getting what you want from him? I don’t think you mentioned your ages but you sound quite young so I think you should cut your losses and move on. Focus on your dog (and stop trying to use the dog as an excuse for you to contact your ex, he doesn’t want to walk the dog or see the dog!), focus on college (well done on the good results!), getting your career back on track and basically just living a nice life. One day you will meet the right guy and everything will just flow naturally – you won’t have to try and force the relationship into something it’s not. And then you will look back at this period of your life and think “pffft – what a waste of time it was worrying over him!”

Post # 10
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Still young and a lot of good stuff to look forward to!  Trust me on that. 

P.s. I’d much rather have the dog for company than him. At least you know your dog will always be loyal.

Post # 11
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Liss13:  You need this man about as much as you need a big hit of crack cocaine followed by a dose of heroin. I use the drug metaphors because it is clear that you are addicted – to him. Cold turkey is the way to go. Get him out of all areas of you life, never see him again. The longer you wait to do this, the worse it will get. 

Post # 13
719 posts
Busy bee

Is there no friend or family member that you can stay with?

I agree that you should finish school and get a stable job of your own before moving on to love and marriage.

I’m curious, what does this guy do?  Does he have a college education and a stable job?  If not, then he really is a jerk for criticizing you.

Post # 14
2674 posts
Sugar bee

Oh honey–ordinarily I would say your dodged a bullet, but in this case I think you dodged an nuclear BOMB.

A real aman stnds by you thru richer, poorer, bad school grades, migraines and the loss of a job.  A year from now you will look back and thank your lucky stars that this relationship ended.

Post # 15
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Liss13:  This guys is so unreliable–trust me, he is not the love of your life. The love of your life would see how hard you are working and be supportive when you lose your job, not blame you. Yes, you were wrong for not telling him, but I totally understand why you did it. 

Keep living your life and doing the things you can to improve and move up. Next time you are on an up swing, and he comes crawling back, remember, he only loves you at the top, he doesn’t love you when you are on the bottom. You don’t need a man like that.

Just for reference- I lost my job while we were going through fertility treatments. Darling Husband agreed that it was best if I didnt look for a job during that time. He supported us on one salary for 14 months. And he still loved the crap out of me. 

Don’t settle for anything less than the best!

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