(Closed) Got horrible news…have to cut guest list in a major way

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
747 posts
Busy bee

Don’t try to cut the list. Scrap the list entirely. Seriously, just throw it away, delete it, just get rid of it.

Then start again. Build up your list from scratch. 

Keep in your mind who you and your fiance REALLY want there, and limit yourself to only those people. Don’t fret about offending people.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by pond. Reason: spelling
Post # 3
4807 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
llevinso:   My suggestion would be to start a list over from scratch – so instead of cutting people, which if course is difficult mentally – you are adding people.  Start with the nearest and dearest and go from there.  Stop when you need to.   *hugs*  Hang in there – your wedding plans sound wonderful.  It will be a fabulous event!  

Post # 4
426 posts
Helper bee

Well either cut all extended family or make it a family only event.  How many people were you planning to invite for a backyard reception since “have to cut over 100 people”.  Also did you tent guys guest number include the empty first floor?  That may be backyard only and you have to have musical chairs for your guest if you do want to keep close to all the invitees.

Post # 5
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Could you possibly use more space, like overflow into your neighbors yard??  Are the tent people only saying that a certain amount will fit under the tent, or that the whole backyard space isn’t big enough for everyone?

Post # 6
9633 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’m not quite understanding why you have to cut the guest list…

i’m not sure how big your space is or how many guests you were planning to invite. but if the tent person said i only do x number seated under the tent. why does it have to be seated?  rent some tables and chairs for those that are older and need seats, do some high tops and make it a cocktail party instead of a seated dinner.


Post # 7
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Maybe you could rent a pavilion in a park and add an extra tent?  Most parks allow you to buy an alcohol permit for pretty cheap too 🙂

Post # 8
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Don’t give up on the possibility of finding another venue. Have you checked local fire halls, parks with space to rent, and less fancy wedding venues? Could you change it to a different day that same weekend, like from a Saturday to a Sunday? It’s far enough in advance that even if you’ve already given guests a date, you could probably bump that by one day and they’d be fine. That might give you more options for alternate venues as Sunday’s not as popular of a day for an event. My cousin planned an elaborate wedding at a popular wedding site in San Diego in seven months. If she could pull that off, you can probably find some other option for your party with this much time.

Post # 9
2065 posts
Buzzing bee

Scrap the whole list and start over.  Or why not just scrap the whole AHR all together?

Post # 10
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Cutting the guest list by over 100 people? That’s nuts. Honestly, don’t do it. Have a rethink. Can you not use a different marquee? Is there no way you can fit in a larger one? Can you do it somewhere else? 

Post # 11
47414 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

How many guests would you be inviting if you did cut the list by 100?

View original reply

Post # 12
66 posts
Worker bee

How big is your original guest list? Will you be cutting it down more than half in order to fit in your parent’s house? Or is the original list 500 people… What style party are you planning? Do you want a sit down dinner or could you have a more casual “open house” style event? The open house options allows people to come and go, so the number of people in you parent’s backyard at any given time will be smaller.

Post # 13
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Cutting Guest list is part of getting married. You simply can not invite everyone. Plus think of it this way there will people who decline, people who are no shows, and people who will just show up. You really have no control. So you might as well invite the people who are close to you and forget those who you may see every few years. you don’t want a venue because there are all these rules and they charge a lot per plate. We actually moved our wedding to a park. I really did want to get mad at people. Anyone who want to come can come and if you don’t well thats fine too. The problem with most parks is no alcohol. We found a very cheap recreation center in the park where for a fee we could have alcohol.  

Post # 14
6798 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I agree with the idea to scrap the list and begin anew.  To have to cut 100 means your list must be enormous to begin with.  Have you guys thought about how many people can use the toilet at your parents’ house without overwhelming the system?  (only applies if you have septic, but even so, it’s food for thought).

If you can’t identify a person by their picture (and they’re not connected to someone you can), then don’t add them to the list.  If you don’t know their last name, their SO’s name or similar, you’re just not that close.  I left off almost the entire family on my father’s side because I hadn’t seen them in 15 years or more.  I invited the three I felt closest to and called it quits there – none came anyway.  Otherwise I’d have had well over 20 extra people I didn’t even really know.  If they were offended, I don’t know about it – we still make pleasantries over facebook.

I dont’ know how big your family is, but just start with parents and siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins.  How big is your list with just them?  Add your very closest friends.  If you haven’t met up in the last year, leave them out.  It’s not an insult, it’s practicality.  Your list sounds so out of hand (at a guess based on how many they’re saying to cut) that I’m thinking you probably don’t really know half or more of the invitees.

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