Got invited to an "online shower" ? Feeling a little weird about this one…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
719 posts
Busy bee

Lol, what nerve! No I’ve never heard of this.

Post # 17
2348 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Is there an accompanying Skype or Facebook live video session? Do you see her open the gifts? If not, it doesn’t seem like this is an “online shower,” but rather a reminder to send her gifts.

Post # 18
7595 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I was invited to a baby shower that the mother herself didn’t attend because she lived out of state and couldn’t travel to the location of the shower. But there was still a physical shower hosted by her family with the usual food/drinks/gift opening activities. We facetimed the mom so she could join virtually.

I’ve never heard of an online only shower though. I guess I’d try to give them the benefit of the doubt unless this person has a history of being really gift grabby. Maybe she doesn’t realize how this would come off, or maybe she actually thought she was doing people a favor somehow by not making them travel to the shower? Idk…

Post # 19
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

haha TBH my first thought was:

1. How incredibly tacky

second thought was:

2. I’d still rather “go” to that type of shower than a “normal” one where I have to talk to people I don’t know and will never see again, and pretend to enjoy watching someone open gifts that we all chose off their registry anyway tongue-out

Post # 20
624 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
somethingblue222 :  haha I def don’t think it should be called a baby shower. That is a term we use to refer to a party or gathering. That’s like inviting someone to a wedding reception without the receiving part. They’re basically just sending you the registry and asking for a gift. It’s tacky but I guess they don’t have money to host anything worth attending so a small fraction of you can feel relieved that you don’t have to go to some crappy party or feign an excuse to skip it. If you’ve entered into a basic quid pro quo gift giving arrangement with this girl I think you did the right thing. My passive aggressive self would’ve done the same thing. 

Post # 21
1293 posts
Bumble bee

I was expecting a “Skype meeting” type thing where Michelle had moved across the country so you all had a video chat etc, not… this.

Just no.

Post # 22
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

What poor taste!

Post # 24
9104 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
somethingblue222 :  Ewwww this is so gross. I would not be taking part in this. If there was no actual shower I would probably just send a gift direct. 

Post # 25
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
HoneysHoney :  but if you just wanted to give someone a gift, can’t you do that without being panhandled?

Post # 26
10343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m going to have online birthday parties.


Post # 27
1207 posts
Bumble bee

My first thought was whoever is “hosting” this is lazy as can be. But if I were the bride I would have put my foot down so she is to blame too. 

Post # 28
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

That’s terrible ettiquette, and most certainly not the norm. How could anyone be like “Well we aren’t hosting a party so you don’t get food, games or the chance to catch up with family and friends but send a gift anyway” 

What I would do in your case is not send a gift via the vitual shower, but go visit Michelle and give her a gift in person. Michelle shouldn’t suffer because her sister is doing something in bad taste. 

Post # 29
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I’ve officially heard it all now.

Post # 30
1764 posts
Buzzing bee

just when I thought I’d heard it all! LOL wow

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