Got invited to an "online shower" ? Feeling a little weird about this one…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
9406 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

super poor taste.

I’ve not gone to many a shower and sent a gift in my stead.  But the effort/intent makes all the difference.

Post # 32
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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slomotion :  already getting my christmas shower registry ready to go. Its a celebration of the baby Jesus afterall!

Post # 34
Member
10351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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MrsBuesleBee :  We can throw them on the bee! It’ll be great!

Send monies here ___________

Post # 35
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee

WTF?!?! NONONO. just no. Stupidest thing I’ve heard.  I would have sent an ethical present “donated $100 to a village in the Himalayas in your unborn child’s name. The villagers got 20 goats” just as an FU to the mother to be.

 

Don’t have kids if you are incapable of buying the stuff yourself. Who in their right mind think this is ok? Unless this is a joke to see if people are willing  to buy stuff.

I don’t understand baby showers in general and I’ve never heard anyone enjoying them. But still an invite is nice when expecting presents.z

Post # 36
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

The only reason can think that this would ever ‘work’ is if you have friend from far away who couldn’t make the shower so then they’d participate via Skype or something. As is, it’s just asking for presents. 

Post # 37
Member
2182 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’ve only heard of these kinds of “events” for charity — a no-dinner dinner type thing where you pay to attend a non-existent dinner and all the money that you give, plus what would have been spent on a dinner or gala is given to the charitable organization. I guess this friend is conducting a charity then? Lord.

Post # 38
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

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bee123456789 :  I’m a weirdo too. I enjoy showers. Even if I don’t know anyone there!!

I certainly hope this never becomes the norm. This is extremely tacky. I’d have some compassion if something was seriously wrong with the mom to be and the host continued with the party and I’d expect a short skype session at the shower.

Post # 39
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee

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carolinabelle :  I guess my mentality is all showers are panhandling. Sure, having games and food disguises that, but there is social pressure to attend a shower and bring a gift. The whole point is to bring a gift. 

I can totally see why people would side eye this though. I’m just not one of them haha.

Post # 40
Member
2182 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m planning a baby shower for a friend now. I guess I’ve been doing it all wrong. Instead of spending hours thinking about the food, decorations, and logisitics of everything, I should have just passed along the mother-to-be’s registry information. Could have saved a lot of time and money. Silly me.

Post # 41
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

In keeping with the theme I would have responded with a free Hallmark e-card.  *eye roll*

Post # 42
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I can agree that I hate the fact these parties are all about the gifts. I wish it wasn’t like that. We should never expect gifts through any circumstance. I would like it to fully focus on attendence and celebrating and pay no attention to the gifts. Putting gifts aside why do some people act like they’d rather be held at gunpoint then attend these parties.at least you’re getting fed and making memories.

Post # 43
Member
373 posts
Helper bee

lol…you’re wayyy nicer than I am. I would have just completely ignored this foolishness. In fact, I would feel like I am doing her a disservice by sending anything because she won’t learn.

Post # 44
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was “invited” to one on FB!  Here is the poem that went with it…

“It’s hard to live so far away, when a baby is on the way! Family and friends spread far and wide would love to be there by her side. But, since we can’t be there I say, let’s do our best to make ****’s day! Send your gifts and cards by mail and she will feel our love from far, far away!  We want to show **** & ******** how much we care, so I decided to throw them this long distance baby shower since we can’t be there!  ***** will share photos of gifts received and other special information!!”

I kinda eye-rolled when I saw it and now my FB feed is filled with pictures of baby blankets and onesies.  It was also a little eye-rolling because this girl lives only about a half hour away from me, but I don’t see her often so I ended up paying for shipping on something that I could have just picked up from the store and given her.  Hindsight is 20/20 and I should have just done that, but oh well.  

Post # 45
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

I’d be embarrased if someone tried to throw something like this for me…. really lazy.. Maybe she doesnt know about it.. I hope.

 

If someone doesnt throw you one in person.. you dont get one.. I dont have any friends or family nearby so I made up a registry.. I never told anyone about it but if they ask me I let them know.  Its a luxury not a right to have a shower.

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