Got invited to an "online shower" ? Feeling a little weird about this one…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

I love going to showers! But a lot of the fun is seeing how creative the hosts have been with a theme, the food, etc…  And seeing the happiness of the person being showered. In person. 

Post # 47
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

rez123 :  A goat is $120 at Heifer Int’l.  I donated 2. 😁

Post # 48
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

My best friend’s mom actually threw her a show like this. Her family is all ranchers and they live all over the place (and I live on the other side of the country). There was no way for any of us to all get together at one time, but it was my best friend’s first pregnancy and her mom still wanted her to have a shower. The mom tried to make it as normal as should could and posted picture updates of the pregnancy, and had virtual games with real prizes / favors that she mailed to everyone.

EDIT: Also, she only “invited” a couple close family members and her two closest friends.

Post # 49
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee

patchm :  it’s perfectly normal to buy something for a friend when they have a baby. Most of my friends didtn have a baby shower so I got a little something when we met. I still think basically sending a gift request and pretend it’s a baby shower is innapropriate.

Post # 50
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Yeah, I wouldn’t have responded to that. Weird.

Post # 51
Member
7457 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

somethingblue222 :  I got invited to one on Facebook that didn’t even have a registry, just a Go Fund Me. I ignored it.

Post # 52
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

rez123 :  It helped that I knew my friend enough to know she wasn’t looking for gifts and just wanted the experience. If I hadn’t sent anything (which I didn’t until after the baby was born and it wasn’t off the registry) it would have been totally fine.]

Perhaps it felt more “normal” for us, because we were both homeschooled and becames friends through a homesechool group offline. She is my oldest / best friend but the first and only time I have seen her in person was her wedding. (I was the maid of honor.)

 

It’s definately different than most, but it works for us.

Post # 53
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

My friend sells garbage through a pyramid scheme and she invited me to an online party to make a sale. I thought that was pretty horrible – but this takes the cake! Except it doesn’t, because there isn’t actually any real cake. 😉

Post # 54
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

somethingblue222 :  inwas once invited to an online babyshower. My difference was that my friend was living in London and all her friends and family were in NYC. Her husband is in the army and they were station abroad. In this case I thought it was perfectly fine as she was unable to come to NYC. Not sure the circumstance on your end. I did send a gift though. 

Post # 55
Member
13707 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Lol no.  What a joke.  Even if there was a distance like the PP said, it’s inappropriate; people are able to send a gift on their own without some sham “online baby shower.”

Post # 56
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Honestly, I think if there is distance involved, you have to bite the bullet and just not have a shower or only invite local guests. It might be sad, but it’s better than simply soliciting gifts.

Post # 57
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know someone who had to move to another country due to her husband being in the military, and they did something super similar for her. In that case I thought it was totally OK. Obviously they would have had a shower had she been local, and she shouldn’t have to miss out on the fun of getting cool baby things simply because her DH’s job forced her overseas. That being said I don’t think it’s OK for someone to do just to get out of hosting a shower locally.

Post # 58
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee

slomotion :  I have had this dilemma for years – how to get the gifts without hosting anyone or having to plan and deal with people. Online birthday party = winning 😉 

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