(Closed) got married two weeks ago, was one of my unhappiest days…

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 18
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I posted something on the newleywed board about the drama on my day. It happens, but time heals all wounds and you will get past this. I am so sorry this has happend and truly understand where you are coming from! Just giving you hive hugs. Give yourself some time and if needed I would really talk to the people that upset and let it out. That is the best therapy. While I was able to express my feelings and the others did not really understand, having it out there and known how I felt and would no longer tolerate their behavior on any future issues was really assuring and brought a peace to me. Weddings for some reason can really bring out the worse in people!

Post # 19
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Poor allmixedup!  It sounds like your husband was just being a dork, and he wasn’t being malicious or trying to hurt your feelings.  But I can see how that would have added to your stress after all of your mom’s nonsense. 

Do you have your photos back yet?  I bet when you look at them, you’ll see all of the gorgeous details and realize that your mom’s comments were totally off-base.  And try to replay that happy 20% in your head as much as you can to block out the way she acted!

Post # 20
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Aww! I’m sorry your day wasn’t as happy & wonderful as you had envisioned.

One of my best friends got married (before I met her) and she said her wedding day was the most awful day of her life. Half her guests didn’t show up because she sent out the invites late- a couple of her guests got the invite a week AFTER the wedding, her dress got caught in the car door & ripped, her Mother-In-Law slipped on the dance floor & was taken to the ER… It sounds funny, but she still to this day can’t go into too many details without crying (it’s been 7 years).

I definitely second a “do-over” to get rid of your unpset feelings towards your wedding day. Could you and your husband run off together for a romantic weekend and re-do your vows?


Post # 21
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m so sorry about your day.  We’ve now been married almost two weeks too.  Like others said, I’d take a break from your mom for awhile, I’m not really sure what her deal was, she should have been more supportive.  As far as your husband, are things better now between you two?

I’m sorry you don’t have good memories, I hope that when you get pictures back you can see how happy your guests were and you were when things were okay.  Good luck.

Post # 22
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Sorry that the day was less then expected.  My SIL’s mother did the same thing to her everyday since the moment my brother proposed.  It was awful to watch and keep your mouth shut.  The Mom still picks apart the day and so does my SIL.  We finally told my SIL that the wedding was beautiful, she was beautiful we don’t want to talk bad about the wedding any more but remember it in a good way.  It has been a month now and no negative comments any more.  I just hope her mom has stopped too!

Try to look at the good things that did happen.  And as far as the husband goes… well he’s a boy who was really excited about marrying you and just had WAAAAYYY to much fun.  You’ll have something to laugh about on your Aniversary.

Post # 23
112 posts
Blushing bee

I’m so sorry! I’m a huge grudge holder, so I know how hard it is to let go. Try to focus on that 20% that was happy

Post # 24
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

allmixedup- thanks for telling us what your hubby did… it puts things in perspective a bit. Like a pp said, it sounds as though he wasn’t trying to be mean, or put you down or like he was overtly trying to disrespect you. It sounds as though he was just being a drunken fool. Hopefully this is something that in the future you can laugh about, it could make a good story for your kids… I remember when your father got so stupidly drunk at our wedding and got this really dumb idea to jump over my head… I think time heals most things and maybe in the future you’ll be able to look back on the whole thing in a better light.

Post # 25
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Honest advice? Focus on the positive.  I had a stomachache my entire wedding weekend, from the moment I woke up Friday (our wedding day) until I threw up on the plane heading to our honeymoon on Sunday.  Probably ate 2 bites of all the food we paid for, 2 bites of cake, and a sip of champagne, and that was not because I was too busy to eat.  I was sipping water through the dancing, and had to get my Maid/Matron of Honor to loosen my dress so I wouldn’t pass out.  But I just focus on what went right instead of what didn’t.  Think about the 20%, and the more you think about it, the easier it will be.

Post # 26
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I am soo so sorry! The tif with your mother sounds awful. Has she apologized? Have you told her after the fact how much she hurt you? I know you can’t turn back time and the wedding is over and nothing can change that, but I would still tell her how she made you feel. It may help a little bit.

How does your husband feel about it now? My husband got pretty drunk, too; I had a suspicion he would, especially once our guests figured we had an open-bar (which isn’t very common around here), they started feeding him shots! I am lucky he didn’t throw up once we got to our B&B. I let go… it was his wedding, too, and even though he got drunk, he had a good time. Did you talk to him ahead of time about the alcohol consumption you planned to have? I know we kind of talked about it… not like it helps now 🙁

Cheer up, think of all the things that went right. I know it is probably hard, but time will heal 🙂 I hear so many horror wedding stories, no one’s is 100% perfect, and some are downright messy 🙂

Post # 27
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am worried that the mom situation will happen to me too. The entire time we have been planing the wedding she has been putting everything down, from the venues, to the colr scheme and overall flow. I do think that it may be a good idea to have an intimate ceremony with just you and the hubby in a year to renew your vows. Be sure not to forget that the wedding is just a day, a marriage is much longer!

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