(Closed) Got some bad news about my mom’s cancer….not sure what to do about a wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hi sweetie I am so sorry that you are going through this ((hugs)) I lost my mum too, and I really missed having her at my wedding, I would have something small and have my mum there, but i am sure she i just thrilled that you are engaged and so happy, I’ll be thinking about you!

Post # 4
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am soo sorry hun, that is just aweful.  (((HUGS)))  Have you talked to your mom and asked what she would like to do?

Post # 5
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - St Aloysius' College, Milson's Point

Firstly – I am so sorry you are going through this and your Mum is in bad shape, I wish I could give you a big hug and make your Mums cancer go away!

Is it feasible to have something sooner? Have you spoken to your Fiance and your Mum about it? If I was in your position, I would be getting married tomorrow because I honestly cannot imagine my wedding day without my Mum (or my dad for that matter!)

Post # 6
11392 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am so sorry you are going through this. (((HUGS!!!!))) I think a small wedding in the fall or winter sounds lovely. You should talk to her about this. She might say to go ahead & wait for the big wedding, because she is your mom. She wants you to be happy. But if the small wedding with your mom there is what you want,  just tell her that. She will be so happy for you either way I am sure. πŸ™‚


Post # 8
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Nicoleeee18: Sending you a huge cyber hug.

I lost my mom last year unexpectedly and currently we going thru a very bad spell with a family member who is also suffering from cancer. We almost lost him a few days ago, its been a very difficult time.  I can tell you with 100% certainty, if I knew then what I know now, I would have absolutely had an city hall/intimate wedding last year so that i could have had both of these people there. Now i’m left to wonder about the what ifs. I was so caught up in my vision that I lost sight of what really matters. Committing to each other and celebrating it our special loved ones. Have your mom there darling. No need to over think or over plan it. Make it simple yet chic. You guys really don’t need spend ton of money, since you still have to plan for your bigger wedding πŸ™‚ Both will be wonderful celebrations. I wish you luck. PM me if you need talk.

Post # 9
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


Oh my god. I am so sorry.

I think you should absolutely do the wedding now, as soon as you can, even if it’s just something small. My dad had cancer, and after they had to adjust his chemo because of the allergic reaction his cancer progressed very quickly. (The nurse told us everyone reacts eventually, it’s a matter of when, and unfortunately it’s usually one of the most effective drugs.)

My heart goes out to you; it’s an awful thing to go through.

Post # 10
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry.  πŸ™

If you have some people who are offering to help, and you may be able to swing it, I would reallly look at doing it sooner so your mom can see you marry.   I think that having your mom there will mean more than fancy centerpieces, etc…

I hope she improves and there are other options for her.

Post # 11
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so, so sorry =(

I would say have a small wedding sooner than you originally planned. Having your mom there will mean more to you in the long run than waiting and having the big wedding you may have been planning. Maybe even give things a little while to settle and talk to her about it?

Your mother is in my prayers!


Post # 12
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So sorry you are dealing with this! I agree with PP – talk with her about it.  That will mean a lot to her.

Post # 13
3142 posts
Sugar bee


+1 to all she has said.

Maybe just surprise your Mum with a small celebration too. I’d be afraid if you asked her, it would just put her in a hard position.


Post # 14
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, I agree that you should talk with her and make the decision together. If you can pull something off sooner and you are comfortable with it, then go for it. I’m sorry you are going through this. My FI’s mom had cancer and having to watch him go through that was not easy. Sending love your way…what a hard time to be going through…

Post # 15
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@bklynbridetobe:This. i agree!

I’m so sorry! This is a tremendous time of fear and sadness in your life πŸ™ I am going through a similar situation with a cancerous family member, and I just sprung for a quick and simple wedding. I realized what mattered most was making sure that person got to join me and I didn’t take things for granted. It has made my planning much more personable, sentimental and grounded. 

Your in my thoughts and prayers, follow your heart!

Post # 16
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Oneeleven: Yes thats a great point. Don’t ask her about moving it up, cause then she will probably feel guilty that you doing this for her.  Just do it (if you decide that this is the right move for you).

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