(Closed) Got the ugliest e-ring ever :(

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

There are girls on this site with very similar rings so I would probably refrain from calling it the “ugliest ring ever”.

I happen to think it’s very pretty and unique but if you don’t like you, you don’t like it. The only thing you can do is talk to your fiance about it and tell him how you feel. 

Post # 4
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

I actually love it. (Although my birthstone is a peridot so I’m somewhat biased).

You have two choices:

1. Stay quiet, learn to love it/deal with hating it;

2. Speak to Fiance about it.

Did you ever discuss rings? Did he know you wanted a diamond? Would he be really hurt if you told him you didn’t like it?

There must be some reason he picked this one, I doubt he’d have just picked a random one and hoped for the best.

Whatever happens, it’s not worth spoiling the engagement over. Congratulations on that and try and be happy about it!

Post # 5
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

Just a thought – if green is your favourite colour and you are getting married on August 18th (So peridot would be the relevant date stone) then it seems he has put quite a lot of thought into it.

Post # 6
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i actually like it,  but its not my E ring.  i dont know what to suggest.

@UpstateCait:

i think its actually OK  for Ms Darcy  to call it ugly,  because she actually owns it.  but i certainly dont think it’s ugly,  on the contrary………… i think its very pretty. 

Post # 8
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Did he know what ring you liked? It sounds like he didn’t and did his own research…not the best research, but research nonetheless. Keep in mind that if you live together, he might see that $6k tv as something he bought for you both. If you don’t live together, I think there’s a problem with maturity.

I just asked my Fiance what he thinks of this. He said that maybe he’s going to take you to the jeweler to pick something out (granted, he took me to his jeweler before he asked)?

Post # 9
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with PPs – he probably did put a lot of thought into it, it’s a coincidence that it’s inexpensive (my FI’s wedding band cost only $38, but it just so happened to be the only ring he wanted), and it’s not an uglly ring at all. I also say this as a non-diamond e-ring wearer. I don’t have a peridot in my ring, but I do have a sapphire, and I love it. It looks different from everyone else’s ring, and I really like that. However, I told my Fiance this, so that’s why he bought a sapphire for me. If you never said that you wanted a non-diamond gemstone, I can see how you’d feel differently.

Speaking of which – what did you and your Fiance discuss about rings before he selected yours? Had you told him about the kind of ring you liked?

Regardless, your options now are clear. Tell him it’s not what you imagined and ask to look at some other rings, or keep quiet and learn to love it. Just make sure that if you do tell him, it’s for the right reasons, because you truly don’t like the ring – not because it didn’t cost some arbitrary amount agreed upon by the diamond industry.

Post # 10
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would talk to him about it if you hate it that bad.  I’m not sure how to approach it without hurting his feelings, but if you don’t even want to wear it, it’s a problem.

Post # 11
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i tried on at least 20 rings,  and 3 of them i couldn’t choose between so i had them left at the shop and then i just sat and stared at the 3 of them…..for ages….

then i made my choice ,  and it just so happened to be the cheaper one of the three. 

i took  the price out of the equasion…..and just went for which one i liked best….

maybe your Fiance DID think about what you liked,  he got you your favorite colour. 

Post # 12
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

This is why I’m glad Fiance and I chose the e-ring together lol.

I think you need to talk to him and tell him, as gently as possible, how you feel about this. He’ll likely be upset, but I do think you should have a ring you like. If I were you though, I would avoid discussing the cost of it because he might think you’re focused on that rather than just the look of the ring itself.

Post # 13
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

maybe buy him the ugliest thing in the world that you KNOW he would hate, and when he questions it…….say

‘funny you say that but ….”

Post # 14
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hmmm I disagree with most of the PPs…. The fact that he bought himself a really expensive TV shows that he’s not one of those people who don’t care about having nice things.

$189 for an engagement ring, when he can obviously afford much more?? I’d be equally upset, I’d feel that he didn’t care enough to spend more on a ring.

My husband spent much less than 3 months salary on a ring but i know he spent as much as he could afford at the time…

 

I don’t know, I don’t want to sound horribly materialistic but I would be really upset, and if I were you I’d talk to him about it. Nicely, but would still explain that i’d had always pictured my engagement ring and that it was very different, etc etc.

Post # 15
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Now Fiance thinks the ring might have special powers. Perhaps you are destined to be the female green lantern. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mrsBtoBee:

actually i never looked at it that way and you are absolutely right….

would a TV  half the size and half the price have been good enough for him?  

no it wouldnt because he knew what HE  wanted.  and something as important as an   E ring SHOULD  have also been a priority too.  

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