Post # 1
What was he thinking whe he gave me this (did some research online):
Yes green is my favorite colour, but I never in my life pictured a peridot stone om my e-ring. It’s not even my or his birthstone. It’s nothing like I imagined I wanted the diamond. This looks tacky to me.
The most hurtful part was yet to come. I checked online and there it was for $189: There is no zero missing there. $189.
I’ve never believed the rubbish spouted by jewelry stores that an engagement ring should cost 3 months salary but he earns more than $50 for 15 minutes work! If we went by the 3 month “rule” very little in Tiffanys and Cartier would be off limits. The ring I really liked cost $3,600. He spent twice that in a whim on a TV last year.
I don’t know how to get over the ring. I don’t want to wear it. I have even thought of “losing” it. I feel nothing but resentment when I look at it and as our engagement is relatively recent news people are still congratulating me and want to see the ring. I can’t hide my shame.
Can you offer any advice on how I can get past this?
Post # 3
There are girls on this site with very similar rings so I would probably refrain from calling it the “ugliest ring ever”.
I happen to think it’s very pretty and unique but if you don’t like you, you don’t like it. The only thing you can do is talk to your fiance about it and tell him how you feel.
Post # 4
I actually love it. (Although my birthstone is a peridot so I’m somewhat biased).
You have two choices:
1. Stay quiet, learn to love it/deal with hating it;
2. Speak to Fiance about it.
Did you ever discuss rings? Did he know you wanted a diamond? Would he be really hurt if you told him you didn’t like it?
There must be some reason he picked this one, I doubt he’d have just picked a random one and hoped for the best.
Whatever happens, it’s not worth spoiling the engagement over. Congratulations on that and try and be happy about it!
Post # 5
Just a thought – if green is your favourite colour and you are getting married on August 18th (So peridot would be the relevant date stone) then it seems he has put quite a lot of thought into it.
Post # 6
i actually like it, but its not my E ring. i dont know what to suggest.
i think its actually OK for Ms Darcy to call it ugly, because she actually owns it. but i certainly dont think it’s ugly, on the contrary………… i think its very pretty.
Post # 7
Ofcourse I don’t want to offend anyone. It’s just not my personal taste.
He proposed to me on my birhtday. I had said yes, without hesitation, before I saw the ring so at the time the ring was not an issue.
I have never been materialistic. I know, I know, ironic! I don’t buy expensive clothes for myself, I hardly spend any money on myself. I really haven’t put much stock in “things”, but I had thought when I got engaged I’d finally have something special that someone bought for me.
We haven’t discussed e-rings but he didn’t make an efford I feel like he hasn’t cared enough about me to ask himself what I would like. He hasn’t listened when he pretended to care about the types of rings I was looking at in store windows.
Post # 8
Did he know what ring you liked? It sounds like he didn’t and did his own research…not the best research, but research nonetheless. Keep in mind that if you live together, he might see that $6k tv as something he bought for you both. If you don’t live together, I think there’s a problem with maturity.
I just asked my Fiance what he thinks of this. He said that maybe he’s going to take you to the jeweler to pick something out (granted, he took me to his jeweler before he asked)?
Post # 9
I agree with PPs – he probably did put a lot of thought into it, it’s a coincidence that it’s inexpensive (my FI’s wedding band cost only $38, but it just so happened to be the only ring he wanted), and it’s not an uglly ring at all. I also say this as a non-diamond e-ring wearer. I don’t have a peridot in my ring, but I do have a sapphire, and I love it. It looks different from everyone else’s ring, and I really like that. However, I told my Fiance this, so that’s why he bought a sapphire for me. If you never said that you wanted a non-diamond gemstone, I can see how you’d feel differently.
Speaking of which – what did you and your Fiance discuss about rings before he selected yours? Had you told him about the kind of ring you liked?
Regardless, your options now are clear. Tell him it’s not what you imagined and ask to look at some other rings, or keep quiet and learn to love it. Just make sure that if you do tell him, it’s for the right reasons, because you truly don’t like the ring – not because it didn’t cost some arbitrary amount agreed upon by the diamond industry.
Post # 10
I would talk to him about it if you hate it that bad. I’m not sure how to approach it without hurting his feelings, but if you don’t even want to wear it, it’s a problem.
Post # 11
i tried on at least 20 rings, and 3 of them i couldn’t choose between so i had them left at the shop and then i just sat and stared at the 3 of them…..for ages….
then i made my choice , and it just so happened to be the cheaper one of the three.
i took the price out of the equasion…..and just went for which one i liked best….
maybe your Fiance DID think about what you liked, he got you your favorite colour.
Post # 12
This is why I’m glad Fiance and I chose the e-ring together lol.
I think you need to talk to him and tell him, as gently as possible, how you feel about this. He’ll likely be upset, but I do think you should have a ring you like. If I were you though, I would avoid discussing the cost of it because he might think you’re focused on that rather than just the look of the ring itself.
Post # 13
maybe buy him the ugliest thing in the world that you KNOW he would hate, and when he questions it…….say
‘funny you say that but ….”
Post # 14
Hmmm I disagree with most of the PPs…. The fact that he bought himself a really expensive TV shows that he’s not one of those people who don’t care about having nice things.
$189 for an engagement ring, when he can obviously afford much more?? I’d be equally upset, I’d feel that he didn’t care enough to spend more on a ring.
My husband spent much less than 3 months salary on a ring but i know he spent as much as he could afford at the time…
I don’t know, I don’t want to sound horribly materialistic but I would be really upset, and if I were you I’d talk to him about it. Nicely, but would still explain that i’d had always pictured my engagement ring and that it was very different, etc etc.
Post # 15
Now Fiance thinks the ring might have special powers. Perhaps you are destined to be the female green lantern. 🙂
Post # 16
actually i never looked at it that way and you are absolutely right….
would a TV half the size and half the price have been good enough for him?
no it wouldnt because he knew what HE wanted. and something as important as an E ring SHOULD have also been a priority too.