Post # 107
@Ms_Darcy: well, I wish I could see that ring. I love peridot.
if you do decide to talk to your fiance about this, perhaps this might help him: peridot is not a good choice if he hopes you will wear the ring forever and/or pass it down in the family. it is a soft stone. I once had a peridot ring and the stone got scratchd up pretty bad within a year.
maybe it would help if you told him you wanted a stone that is stronger, so that you could wear it every day.
keep the original ring, since it’s the ring he proposed to you with, maybe you could have it turned into a necklace – a peridot will be less likely to get scratched there anyway.
Post # 108
I totally want to see it too! Too bad the OP got shamed into taking the photo down.
Post # 109
Can you just buy yourself a new ring?
Post # 110
I’m not materialistic, either…and if I thought you were being ridiculous I’d keep my mouth shut and stay out of this thread…but I don’t. I see your argument. It’s not what the ring looks like, it’s not how much the ring cost, it’s how little though you feel went into it.
I would just have a sit-down with homeboy and tell him in the sweetest way possible that you LOVE being engaged to him but you want a different ring, maybe one you pick out together.
Post # 112
i’m not attacking the original poster – i just dont understand why the norwegian tragedy has anything to do with an ugly e-ring! and a tragedy in norway is not the same as it happening in sweden!
Post # 113
@socalmeli: Because of his seeming lack of judgment, or because you feel like he got ripped off on what he paid for the TV?
Post # 114
I haven’t read all the other responses so sorry if I am repeating. If you don’t like your ring because it isn’t your style or taste, I think it would be okay for you to say something (but think over carefully what to say, you don’t want to hurt his feelings). However, if you don’t like it only because it didn’t cost very much, well I don’t think you are in a place to say anything. Maybe at a milestone anniversary, you can do an upgrade ring or something.
Post # 115
I like this idea. The fiance bought what made sense to him culturally, and got her something he should she would like. He tried…why is the pressure on him now to go out and buy a different and more expensive ring?
Post # 116
I understand your frustration, because it isn’t at all what you wanted. But the advice I can give to you is to don’t lose the excitement for the engagement! and sit your Fiance down and talk to him. That’s really all you can do. Tell him truthfully how you feel about the ring and see if you can get what you want. Explain to him that you appreciate what he put into it, but if you are going to be wearing it for the rest of your life, you want to be happy with it. That is what I would do, but of course without neglecting his feelings as well. Be as honest as possible but also be nice as well. Good luck too! I know how it can feel.
Post # 117
I didn’t say that there weren’t. I just said that if my FH had bought me a ring for that cheap I’d be over the moon, ’cause I’m of the frugal-hate-spending-money-on-jewelery type. If my post came across as implying that rings like that don’t exist period, then oops on my part.
I agree that the OP should have a ring that she likes, since she’ll be wearing it for the rest of her life, and it sounds like material goods (or particularly the engagement ring bling) are a big deal for her. However, she just comes off as sounding entitled and whiney, and the language that she uses is inflammatory (“tacky”, “ugliest e-ring ever!”, etc.), and the way that she demeans her FH for purchasing a “cheap” ring/a ring with a coloured stone/etc. is uncalled for, especially taking into account his culture (how can she have gotten this far in the relationship and not tried to understand that aspect of him?!). If she was so set on a certain type of ring, she should have told her FH, or bought one for herself.
Post # 118
lol, both. But mostly because of some of the ridiculous things his fiancee is saying about why she must have a better ring.
Post # 119
I can pretty much guarantee you this is just a miscommunication having to do with your cultural differences. Being from Sweden (although living in the states for 15 years) I am pretty familiar with the norms for engagements. Typically, both the man and woman get engagement rings… just a simple gold band usually with their significant other’s name engraved inside them. The woman receives a wedding ring (again usually gold with maybe a few small diamonds). Big diamond engagement rings are not the norm in Sweden at all. In fact, I’m the first in my family to receive a diamond engagement ring. Having lived in the states for so long I have became more “Americanized” in my views on engagements/engagement rings, but if I were still living in Sweden I would of course follow the Swedish traditions and just have a gold band as my mom and grandmothers do.
If you really feel that the ring is not something you want to wear for the rest of your life, talk to your fiance but be very understanding of the cultural differences present in this situation. Good luck with your decision!
Post # 120
EXACTLY! It’s not his fault she doesn’t like her ring. I’m sure he’ll be heartbroken to learn that.
Post # 121
Per request of the OP, this thread will now be closed.