- 6 years ago
This is going to be long and probably a bit confusing so bear with me here..
I’m going through some serious stress and family drama. My mom & her mom got in a fight when I was 5 because I had the chicken pox and mom refused to drive 2 hrs with me and my bro (who I ever so nicely gave the chicken pox to) at Christmas time to see her side of the family for Christmas. Big drama ensues and mom & grandmother don’t talk for 20 years. Grandmother died 3 years ago, I hadn’t seen her since I was 5. The will gets read and it turns out she harbored some serious bad feelings towards my mom, my uncle ends up getting 90% of her estate ($300k+), bro and I get $5k each, mom gets $10k. Instead of mourning her deceased mother, my mom gets angry that my uncle got all the money and cuts all ties with him. I still have contact with him and we email 1-2x a month. I want to invite him to the wedding but have been told (by mom) that I am, under no circumstances, allowed to do that. Yes, I know, its my wedding and I can do what I want but I also know my mother and if I invite him behind her back I will hear about it forever. She is contributing 25% to the cost of the wedding so I can’t just tell her too bad.
On my dad’s side, his dad died when I was 10 (almost 20 years ago) and when he died I lost his wife, my step-grandmother and essentially the only grandmother I ever knew, as well. She no longer felt like she belonged in our family and kind of drifted off.
I have no contact with anyone else in the family besides my mom’s brother, mom’s aunt and a couple second cousins. My parents are the reason for this, for whatever reason they have alienated themselves from everyone and don’t seem to care that my brother and I grew up with no family. Just before Christmas, my great aunt (mom’s aunt) sent me a family tree and I was SHOCKED to find out I have so many relatives. Stunned speechless. No clue they existed. 2/3 of my life I have spent thinking it was me, my bro and my parents. That was all we had. Now I find out I have great aunts, great uncles, cousins… a whole slew of people I don’t know.
To top that off, I had a reiki reading a week before Christmas through someone I work with but don’t know well. She ends up telling me that my step-grandma (Mary) is still alive and misses me very much. She ends up telling me what happened to Mary and why she didn’t stay in our lives but that she knows I’m getting married and will be there in spirit. She also told me a lot of other things about my past, about Fiance and other family members and about one of my dogs that she wouldn’t have known as I’ve never told her any of that so I definetly believe what she said. I went home that night, called mom and told her what happened. She tells me, all nonchalant like nothing is out of the ordinary, that Mary is still alive and in a retirement home 2 hrs away, that Mary’s nephew and Dad’s good friend, told them that in October. And NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME.
I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t know what to do about all this. I feel betrayed, cheated, like one of my parents should have tried harder to keep family in our lives and like my bro and I weren’t worth it enough to try to keep them around for our sake. I don’t know how to get over this.