(Closed) Grad School Lab Invites- HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who should I invite
    Invite everyone from the lab : (8 votes)
    44 %
    Stick to inviting those that I'm closer to (the 5 that I mentioned) : (10 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 3
    13010 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you can fit them, I’d probably invite all of them just to keep the peace and not seem exclusive.  Your wedding will likely come up in the next few months, and you don’t want it to be awkward.  Plus, if they think it’s weird, they probably will just decline anyway.

    Post # 4
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    Do you work equally with everyone?  Or are the ones you invited a sub-group that you tend to work more with?

    If you work equally with everyone then I think the all-or-none rule applies for your coworkers.  Either invite everyone or don’t invite anyone.  Things can get hairy and feelings can get hurt, not too mention how awkward it is, if you hand-pick certain people and leave others out.

    Post # 6
    3241 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Having worked in a lab, I say exend the invitation to all in the lab. I don’t think you have to give them +1’s though unless they are married or engaged.

    Post # 7
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    If you want to invite any of them, you have to invite all of them.  And I think you have to extend all of them the same +1 rule so no one gets special treatment.  

    Post # 8
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t invite them. If you were excluding one or two, I might say invite them.

    Post # 10
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    As a fellow grad student in a small department (and working within a social science lab), I wouldn’t invite all of them. We’ve had a few weddings in the department over the three years I’ve been here, and all of the couples in question invited only those they are close to. Your colleagues will understand, I am certain. If we were getting married locally, we would only be inviting those who we consider friends.

    Post # 12
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted to invite the 5 you are close to.  You can send the invitations to their homes and just mention individually to keep the wedding talk on the down-low.

    Regarding their guests, if they are in relationships (married, engaged, or boyfriend/girlfriend/partner) you must invite their SO.

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