Post # 1
So I am 20 (very soon 21!) and my Fiance is 24. We grew up together in a very small town and have been dating for almost 2 years. He proposed in July with a temporary ring (the band broke recently and my forever ring is a white sapphire and was just ordered from helzburg). I have one year left of college and then I am off to grad school for psychology. We are having issues with our families about setting a date. My Mother wants us to wait until I am done with grad school, but his family is pushing for us to marry after I am done with my 4 year degree. Many of our friends are married and he works full-time. Honestly, neither of us want more than a huge BBQ and for everyone to have fun. We are content with gettnging married at any time because we love each other. Anyone else dealing trying to set a date? Any advice from those who married before or after grad school?
Post # 2
I’m in med school and will be getting married during med school! Do what you and your Fiance want, it’s your day!
Post # 3
My husband and I got married while in the midst of our PhDs. Our families were on board with the timing. A lot of people get married in grad school – depending on the field you’re in, you may have classmates ranging in age from 21-80. If it’s just a 1 or 2 year program, I could see waiting just because of your age, but it’s really up to you (assuming you’re paying for the wedding).
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
I got married in the middle of my PhD. Grad school is easier than undergrad, IMO. Timing was way more flexible for me as well.
Post # 5
A large portion of my med school class is married or engaged. It’s basically the norm here lol!!
Post # 6
My SO and I will both be in grad school when we get married, but we both also have fulltime jobs with benefits and such. My SO and I have our own place and share money as well, so our families are supportive of us getting married whenever we choose.
I think just be careful about timing and money. Can you work while you’re in school? That may help take some of the burden off your parents and your Fiance
Post # 7
I really wanted to get married while I was in my MA program, but my Fiance was dead set against it because he thought it would get in the way of my school. A woman in my program did get married during the program and her grades did really suffer. My parents were married when they were both in grad school and things worked out fine for them.
All that being said I think it mainly depends on where you are in your relationship, what you are looking for out of a wedding (a huge blow-out that takes tons of planning or something else), and how emotionally mature the two of you are (understanding of the time commitment invloved in grad school).
It sounds like the two of you have all that figured out so I’d say go for it!
Post # 8
I got engaged during my undergrad at 19, we are getting married 3 weeks after my undergrad graduation. We never considered waiting until after grad school, too long. If there’s no reason to wait, then why wait? Everyone I know gets married the summer after the graduate undergrad so it’s pretty normal.
Post # 9
nilssonm195: Congrats on getting into grad school and on your engagement! My fiance and I are in our mid-20s and he’s is in law school (I have a full-time job). He’ll have one more semester to go after our wedding. I had always thought that if we got married, it would be after he finished law school (we got together early on in undergrad and then worked for a year in between him going to school). My family also expected that I would get married much later, in my 30s.
However, I’m really glad we’re doing it sooner. I think it’s going to bring a lot more stability in our lives. There have been so many difficulties and unknowns over the past few years, and although there’s a lot more to come, I love the idea that he and I are partners in it together. That’s just my experience, though. You have to do what’s right for you!
Post # 10
We are discussing setting a date and getting married while I am in grad school. 🙂 We are funding the wedding ourselves and hoping that the guest list might become a little smaller after my undergrad, especially considering that I am in a sorority and want so many of them to attend/be part of the wedding party. My family will just have to accept that their little girl is ready to be married. I already live with him and we have a dog so we think it’s finally time!
Post # 11
nilssonm195: My fiance and I talked about this for quite some time. We knew we would wait until we were finished with undergrad (we are the same age), and I wanted a little extra time to plan and save money. We decided on next summer, after 1 year of grad school 🙂 I had considered waiting until I was done with grad school, which is 2.5 years long, but that seems crazy now. I am sooo ready to marry the man I have loved for 6.5 years!
Post # 12
nilssonm195: What is the structure of your program? I was married in between my first and second year of grad school (school counseling). That was totally doable because the first year (of three) was a little less intense, and I had a 5 week break between the end of my first year and the beginning of my second. My second year (where I am now) is consisting of more hands on classes, a quarter long practicum in a school, and then a full load of summer classes that leads directly into my fall internship, which will be at a middle school and starts mid August. So no break in classes for me this year.
Doing the wedding last year in September worked out so perfectly- if we hadn’t done it then we would have had to wait until my program was over in 2015. I’m very glad we didn’t! So it might help to get an idea of what you’ll be in for program-wise, and try and assess how much intensive work you’ll be doing each year. It is not impossible to plan a wedding during grad school, you just need to make sure you won’t be overwhelming yourself with your graduate courseload and all the wedding stuff!
Post # 13
nilssonm195: I think your mother wanting you to wait has less to do with you still being to school and more to do with your age/length of your relationship with your Fiance. I think you just need to have a good sit down talk with her to flush out each other’s feelings. Then get married whenever you and your Fiance want.
Post # 14
I am getting married in August and still in the middle of my PhD. Planning the wedding is a lot easier than grad school but I am not going to wait till I finish my PhD. My fiance also goes to school part-time and it’s been amazing how well he’s helped me through stressful situations education-wise and I would rather get married sooner than later. So I have a little more of forever to have his last name.
Post # 15
nilssonm195: Are they paying for your grad school and threatening to not continue to pay for it if you get married? Cuz if not, and if you are paying your own grad school and aren’t dependent on them financially, then go ahead and get married. But you may end up paying for it out of your own pocket if they aren’t on board.