(Closed) Grad School + Pregnancy?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’d be wary of letting grad school take too long– yes, you’re making yourself marketable, but you have to keep the end-game in mind, which is to make money! 

I’m (pending acceptances) starting my PhD this Fall, which should take 4-5 years since I will already have a free-standing MA. I’m 23, and hoping to have my first child towards the latter half of my program– on the dissertation side of things so the child doesn’t interfere with classes.  To be fair, I have no idea what kind of hoops we’ll have to jump through while TTC (just diagnosed PCOS after I went off BC and didn’t ovulate for over a year, still waiting for the meds to do their thing so I can see what we’ll be dealing with…). 

If you’re ready for a child now, why not start TTC during your first year– you’ll have a year or so of classes under your belt by the time you have the child, then you can do the second half of the M.Ed/MS part-time.  I’m assuming some of it is summer classes? I’d try to knock out as much as possible, as quickly as possible, while still doing well enough to get yourself into a PhD program. 

Post # 19
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@AmeliaBedelia: I have been going back and forth with this as well! I heard it is very hard. There is a book out there called “mama phd” that talks about this very decision…children while pursuing higher education. I ordered it but cancelled b/c I realized that I am overthinking my life right now. I need the wedding out of the way first…I finally came to the decision that I will be off BC soon anyway (health reasons) and I’ll be applying for grad school 2 months before the wedding and should start classes in Sept (if I get in) …sooo if a baby happens during school, ok fine, I’ll deal with it, but if it doesn’t, then right after graduation we can start.

This wasn’t a helpful reply, BUT…I was glad to see there are others out there that think this way, too. I know it’s hard but really, what isn’t hard about the whole marriage/education/children timeline?

Post # 22
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Since you can’t start until Fall 2013, I’d just start TTC whenever you feel like you would want to if you didn’t have school in the way.  Would you want to start now if you were just going to keep working? 

A lot of things can happen in a year and a half– maybe you’ll find an amazing job, maybe you’ll find a different program, maybe you’ll move halfway around the world! Life is weird. I would just ignore school in terms of TTC– either you’ll have the baby before it, during the first year, or even later, and you can totally make it work.  

One good thing: most graduate programs have courses in the evenings– while it might make for a tired husband, he could put the baby to bed while you’re out in class!

Post # 23
Member
10651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve known people who have done it in sciences, and it greatly affected what they could and couldn’t be around regarding chemicals.  They managed it well.  I don’t think I could do it though,

If you think you can handle it, go for it!  The worse that could happen is that you can’t, so you take a break or decide it’s not for you in the end.

Post # 24
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Personally, I would not do it – but that is more b/c I have some health issues and without even TTC, I know my last trimester is most likely going to be on bed rest (if not second as well). I could not be in graduate school and be on bed rest! I also would not want the added stress of grad school on top of a pregnancy. 

That said, I have a few friends who have successfully done graduate school while pregnant. A former co-worker and classmate of mine got pregnant in early fall last year, and was set to deliver during finals week of Spring semester!! She ended up delivering late. I do know that the last month or two was pretty rough on her, but otherwise she said it wasn’t bad at all.

Post # 25
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If it makes you feel any better, we have a pregnant RESIDENT right now (yes, I’m talking doctors). Half the female doctors I work for had their first while in residency and that’s 4 days without sleep. Of course it wasn’t easy, but they did it, and that gives me strength =) I am trying to have my first while I am on the 2 year waitlist for my nursing program. I am okay with having kids while entering a super intense program… One of my best friends during pre requisites had a baby and got pregnant about halfway through, ended up delivering four hours after she took her last final. She was very inspiring because of course it is not easy, but totally doable! =)

Post # 26
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you can do it!  It’ll be tough, but considering your fertility issues, I think it might be worth it to go ahead and try now.  Fiance and I are going to wait until after I get my Masters degree to try.  I should finish up at 26, too.

Post # 27
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Nothing is ever impossible.  Just hard, tiring, and frustrating.  Those things are always worth it in the end as well.  Good luck. <3

Post # 28
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Darling Husband wants to start TTC in two years. By then I will be in grad school and I am concerned about the coursework. But as Darling Husband and many others have said, you make it work. Darling Husband said he can work at nights and I can go to school in the day time. We can’t put our life on hold for school :p

Post # 29
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@AmeliaBedelia: wow… I totally wouldn’t know what to do if my program’s deadline was that short. yikes. July 15th is the deadline for Fall 2012, which starts in Sept. I’m hoping to have my stuff all in by the end of June, but if for some reason I dont’ do well enough on the GRE I have another month to try again. ugh.

Honestly it sounds like where your heart is right now is with creating a family. You have to listen to what makes you feel right deep inside. I think due to your medical concerns it’s completely legit that you have to worry about this and weigh your options.

I always over think decisions like this. I have recently learned to take a deep breath and let life show me the way. I have decided to curb my baby thoughts and take things in steps…1. get rid of my ovarian cysts and even out my cycle, 2. wedding in June (yipes) 3. grad school, 4. THEN decide about children, whether we TTC during school or right after. It has taken the better part of a year for me to decide this…but I agonized over it. I was so scared when I found out about my cysts (even though I know they are not always a big deal) that I almost talked Fiance into a courthouse wedding so we could TTC right away. (craaazy! I know. haha).

Is there any way you could talk to an academic advisor for your program and run a few things by them? Such as…can you take a leave if you are pregnant/give birth? What are options for parents, such as night classes, etc? They might even be able to give you names of students with children so you can talk to them about how they balance everything. Meeting actual people in your program in the same boat might prove to be invaluable.

Post # 30
Member
1924 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@AmeliaBedelia: Oh that all makes sense.  I say it’s definitely possible.  I’m getting my Masters in Education and teaching credential.  I’m studying to be a Social Studies teacher.  I just started student teaching in a South Los Angeles high school this week.  I teach 11th grade US History and 12th grade Government and Economics.  It’s HARD to balance teaching and getting a masters!!!  I am teaching Monday-Thursday 8-12, then I have my graduate classes in the evenings and all day Friday.  Doesn’t leave much free time!  In fact, I just finished my lesson plans for next week so I’m taking a mini break and on the weddingbee 🙂  That said, I’m sure if I really wanted kids right now, I could find a way to make it work–especially if my partner was more available to raise the kid!  My fiancé is in med school right now so neither of us have free time!

Good luck with whatever decision you decide!

Post # 30
Member
1924 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@AmeliaBedelia: Oh that all makes sense.  I say it’s definitely possible.  I’m getting my Masters in Education and teaching credential.  I’m studying to be a Social Studies teacher.  I just started student teaching in a South Los Angeles high school this week.  I teach 11th grade US History and 12th grade Government and Economics.  It’s HARD to balance teaching and getting a masters!!!  I am teaching Monday-Thursday 8-12, then I have my graduate classes in the evenings and all day Friday.  Doesn’t leave much free time!  In fact, I just finished my lesson plans for next week so I’m taking a mini break and on the weddingbee 🙂  That said, I’m sure if I really wanted kids right now, I could find a way to make it work–especially if my partner was more available to raise the kid!  My fiancé is in med school right now so neither of us have free time!

Good luck with whatever decision you decide!

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