(Closed) Grad Students – Are you inviting your advisor to your wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite your graduate advisor to your wedding?

    Yes! We're buddy-buddy

    No! We're not that close and that'd be weird!

    No, but I would if I had the resources (money/space) to invite more people.

    Other - please comment below

  • Post # 3
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Ya I think I will! He invited me to his wedding last summer and I am inviting the fellow PhD students from the lab and so I think it just makes sense.

    However, My supervisor is 40 and is super fun and hangs out with the grad students all the time!

    Post # 4
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I’m having a destination wedding so no.  But I will be sending him an announcement and invite to our at home reception.  I know he won’t come, but I think its a nice gesture.  After all, he is your boss!!  I’m not extremely close with my advisor but I have known him for the last 4 years so I feel its just the right thing to do for me!  I will also be sending annoucements/invites to AHR to my labmates.

    Post # 5
    803 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    we arent budy-budy, but we have a very good professional relationship, more like very close coleagues.  we’re inviting my advisor as well as a couple other people from my PhD program.

    Post # 6
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    haha, I don’t like my advisor very much, so it’s a non-issue for me. But I might be a little jealous of those of you who are friendly with yours….

    Post # 7
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Fiance and two of his mentors for his honors thesis are close, so they’re getting invited. The wedding is four hours away from them though so we know they won’t come.

    Post # 8
    348 posts
    Helper bee

    I would have, except we had only our parents at the actual ceremony, and are having three receptions (in my hometown, my husband’s home country, and the city we now live in).  For the final one, we are only inviting our friends–family went to one of the others–so he’d be the oldest person there by about 20 years, and I think it would be awkward.  It’s too bad, though, because he’s a great guy.  I would absolutely have done it if we had a more traditional wedding.

    Post # 9
    372 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m out of grad school for about 2 years now but my advisor (and 2 of my committee members) are on my list.  They’re all fantastic people and we get along personally and professionally. 

    Post # 10
    1897 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We’re not buddy-buddy, but I think inviting him is the appropriate thing to do!

    Post # 11
    282 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I’ve finished my PhD. I am inviting only my committee chair, even though I had three very involved advisors. He was my advisor from day one and is the kind of prof who really cares about his students and their lives outside their dissertations. (for example, when I broke my ankle, he showed up the hospital with our people’s version “soul food,” bagels, lox, and cream cheese.) My advisor and his wife are attending. Fiance invited his diss chair, but we do not expect him to come.

    Post # 12
    1084 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I didn’t invite any. 

    We didn’t have a small wedding (about 120 people) but when we tried to count in work people it just completely got to be too many between my husband and I.  I had just finished up my PhD and started a new lab and had three advisors there and an advisor here and all the labmates and their SOs – ack!  It would have added a good 30 more people and I couldn’t really see inviting my adivsors and not labmates. 

    So work people were out.  We hang out after work sometimes and are all friends but for our wedding we really just kept it to family and very close friends. .

    Post # 13
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m having a pretty big wedding, but I’m not inviting my PhD advisor. He’s nice and everything, but I really just feel like him being there would add a tone to my day that I just don’t want.

    Post # 14
    18628 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I have never even seen my advisor in person so I would say no.  But honestly, is he a friend?  Because if not, why would you invite him?

    Post # 15
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I invited the director of my program (it’s a really intimate program–she’s taught 2 of our classes and I only have about 10 people in my program).  She wasn’t able to attend–but I wasn’t upset about it!  I really only invited her because she had mentioned everyone in the class plus her attending.  I felt a little obligated.  I’m the youngest person in my program by about 10+ years and she made sure I knew how she felt about that…we’re not best friends 🙂

    Post # 16
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We aren’t close, but my Fiance and I met in our PhD program, and we BOTH had the same advisor.  I’m currently still in the program while he graduated, and he wanted to invite another quasi-faculty member who the advisor works closely with, so we are inviting our advisor.  I doubt that he will come since its across the country, but we thought we should ask.  It’s a pretty small wedding (under 90 people), so he’s one of our few “courtesy invites”, but I thought it was best.  Plus, he’s a very nice guy and I think he’ll feel be happy to be invited & will be happy for the two of us.  Plus I know I have relatives that would love to talk to him if he does come, I’m sure he will have a nice time & it won’t be uncomfortable for him.

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