(Closed) Grad Students – Are you inviting your advisor to your wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite your graduate advisor to your wedding?

    Yes! We're buddy-buddy

    No! We're not that close and that'd be weird!

    No, but I would if I had the resources (money/space) to invite more people.

    Other - please comment below

  • Post # 17
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I did invite him, and he was thrilled to get the invitation and very excited about going to the wedding, but in the end he wasn’t able to go because he was swamped with teaching and research commitments. I also invited my secondary advisor, who told me she absolutely loved our save-the-dates and our invitations and said they were very pretty and creative, but she wasn’t able to go either because she was traveling.

    Post # 18
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I am struggling with what to do on this issue as well. I am in a residency program with 22 co-residents (11 in my year) and 7 full time faculty. It’s weird, because originally I thought having a wedding in a separate state (I am currently in Texas, having the wedding in Iowa) this wouldn’t be an issue. Unfortunately, faculty keep asking me a lot of detailed questions (some very personal) and I get the impression they feel they are closer to me than I do to them. While there ARE some residents and faculty I would actually like to invite, I feel like it is an all-or-none situation because I don’t want to invite some at the risk of hurting or offending others. Not to mention it would mean virtually shutting down all of our clinics on the Friday before just so everyone could travel.

    What does everyone think? Invite all, none, or just the ones I care most about?

    At this point I feel like you probably should extend the invitation-just to be safe. Your program director and any associated faculty will be your professional colleagues for years to come….and I feel it is best to keep good relationships when possible.

    Post # 19
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I love my advisor, but our relationship is very formal and professional.  It would be weird to have him there while we’re doing the hokey-pokey on the dance floor.

    Post # 20
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’d love to- mine is awesome. But we just started being friendly over the past few months. I’m sure during my dissertation-writing phase we will be close enough that I would invite her, but right now it’s premature. I thought about it though!

    Post # 21
    Member
    703 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m not in grad school but I am inviting a handful of professor’s from undergrad. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I start a PhD program in the fall, but I have already been a student of my advisor’s. Since we are inviting our “big” list I plan on inviting him. He’s a great guy, only in his 40s, and has already given me engagement/marriage words of wisdom. There are 5 other grad students in the lab with me, and I’ll probably put them on the B-list.

    Post # 23
    Member
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    My advisor and his wife (another one of my professors) are awesome and feel like a second set of parents to me…in fact, they met fi before my parents did!

    After knowing them for so long, it would be weird for me to get married without having them there. They’ve been with me through a lot of life’s ups and downs and I think it’s only right that they’re there for one of the biggest ups. 🙂

    Post # 24
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’m not inviting my advisor but our lab is planning on celebrating our wedding with some sort of celebration (wine tour, picnic, or….).  We are trying to keep our guest list small so we cannot invite work colleagues for the most part. 

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