(Closed) Graduate School?

posted 6 years ago in College
Post # 3
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You sound so much like me! We got engaged as I was wrapping up undergrad, but then I started a two-year master’s program. Like you may be doing, I spent two years working, going to grad school, and planning our wedding, and then eventually looking for a job and a place to live for once we were married.

And you know what? It sounds crazy, but it can be done! We got married about a month after I finished my master’s. Having a longer engagement really helped me get ahead on my planning so that I wouldn’t be swamped while also trying to concentrate on grad school. Don’t get me wrong — there were stressful times. But that happens even if you aren’t in grad school while planning your wedding.

Take your time planning. Get your guy and your mom and even his mom to help where they can. Make a list and stay organized. Start planning EARLY! I decided on our ceremony and reception venues the summer between undergrad and grad school, and that was a huge thing to have accomplished before the school year started. And then, because I had over two years to plan, I didn’t have to be doing all wedding stuff, all the time. It gave me the time and space to do a lot of research and make careful decisions.

Like I said, I know it sounds crazy, but it can be done AND it can be fun. And when it’s all over, you feel amazing and accomplished. I’ll never forget how it felt to relax on the beach in Maui on our honeymoon knowing that my master’s degree was complete, I’d found a job, we had a place to live, and we were finally married!

Post # 4
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, it can be done. I had a Christmas 2010 engagement and got married this past July. Grad school was the reason for the long engagement. But as Gemstone said, try to get done with things early. You don’t want to be bombarded down with planning, papers, and projects. 

Congrats on going to grad school! It’s tough but feels so good to have that degree!

Post # 5
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My boyfriend and I met during our MSc.  He went into teaching afterwards and I went on to do my PhD; he proposed to me this past summer.  We’re having a 7 month engagement and I’m currently writing my thesis with the hopes to defend about a month before the wedding (Februrary).   I can tell you that the 2 competing projects (wedding planning and thesis writing) isn’t a lot of fun.  However, I’m still optimistic that it’s doable.

For me, it means that all my life transitions are going to come at once.  I’ll graduate, become a wife, move to a new city (to join my fiancé), and apply for real jobs within the span of 1.5 months.  I’m a bit nervous about all these changes, but putting the wedding right after I finish up was also convenient.

Is there a reason that you can’t get married during grad school?  I’ve known many people that have.

Post # 6
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@Rubbs:  I agree with everything you said. The hard work was worth it, and we had SO much to celebrate when our wedding finally got here!

Post # 7
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@physicsbride:  That’s pretty much what I did — everything really took place within six weeks! A whirlwind six weeks for sure!

Post # 8
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Gemstone:  Can I ask how the transistions were for you emotionally?  I have to admit that I’m pretty nervous about getting a real job and leaving all my friends and family. 

Post # 10
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@buggaboo6:  What kind of graduate school is it?  Do you get a stipend or any other kind of pay?

Post # 11
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@physicsbride:  I won’t lie — the first week that we were home from our honeymoon and I had a new husband, a new name, a new place to live, and I was preparing for a new job…I was overwhelmed. But it was really that first week that was the toughest. I started my job the second week we were back, and I think that helped me get back into a routine. I’m very much a creature of routine. I’ll also say it was easier on me because we didn’t move far away from friends and family.

That said…I don’t regret the timing at all. It’s still what worked best for us and for me, I think.

Post # 12
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I started grad school in August 2011, got engaged in December, married last month, and will graduate in March. I also work an 8-5. It can definitely be done, it just gets a little stressful sometimes!

Post # 14
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@buggaboo6:  A graduate assistantship is an awesome opportunity. That’s what I did. It paid for my tuition  (woo!) and it paid me a decent stipend.

Post # 15
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@buggaboo6:  I’m only familiar with really traditional grad school situations. That is, academic setting, in a regular university with a professor supervising a project-based graduate degree.  Usually in those cases you get a salary which can come from a combination of many sources: scholarship, research assistance pay from your professor, and teaching/marking as a Teaching Assistant.  It’s enough to live on and pay the bills.

I don’t think that this is the case for places like business schools, though.  Just something to keep in mind if you don’t yet know what your particular situation is.  They are good questions to ask schools.

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