Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
Sounds exactly like the announcements/invitations my university provided. It’s a pretty standard format, but most people send them before the ceremony even though most people won’t be attending.
For what it’s worth, we only sent mine to my aunts, uncles, and grandparents (aka, older relatives who would care that I graduated and not cousins, etc).
She probably should have sent it beforehand (or not to you at all), but what’s done is done.
Post # 17
Ok so in talking to my mom apparently she’s done this before, everyone in her immediate family does, and they send announcements/invitations to my grandparents (not the grandparents we share – she’s only met them a handful of times), and my godfather (she’s not related to him either). I guess it’s just how they roll. My mom said they always give a gift.
this is the first year I’ve gotten my own invite – usually it’s addressed to the whole family and sent to my parents. A gift is in fact expected, apparently.
MYSTERY SOLVED. 🙂 Thanks everyone.
Post # 18
They’re gift grabs. We got one for our cousin’s daughter’s high school graduation on a Thursday night 5 states away. Obviously we weren’t going. We sent a check because we’re fairly close to those cousins, but I knew full well it was a gift grab.
That said, my mom sent them against my will for my law school graduation (literally, I had no idea she ordered/sent them until I saw one on my grandmom’s fridge; I was flummoxed as to why so many people I never saw were sending me checks). So it could be something like that. I cashed the checks and wrote thank you cards; I mean, what else could I do? I’d look like a snot if I declined the gifts. But I was just irritated with my mom especially because this was law school; I was 25 years old and hadn’t lived at home in a couple years… I mean, WTF.
Post # 19
Have you graduated and if so, did your cousins send graduation gifts?
As a cousin, you are further removed than your mother (the graduating girl’s aunt). I think this might be a good time to set a precedent and not send a gift.
Post # 20
so I didn’t send out invitations for my final graduation of my terminal degree this May. I figured hey, I’m in my late 20s and this is my 4th graduation, I dont need to do all that. Well, my family got a little ruffled about it and everyone seemed to think that when they didn’t get an invite, they weren’t invited (I don’t live near most of them so I’m not sure why this would even be an issue). So at least around my family, it was expected. I agree that graduation invitations are completely gift grabby and I thought I’d minimize that by not sending them out. Instead, I had to explain to everyone the details of the graduation And how no one (not even mom and dad) got invites! It was annoying. Bottom line, I guess some expect them, some don’t.
Post # 21
I’m the oldest cousin so the rules are a bit different. Basically even though the age difference is only 3 years, I have a career, own a home, etc and most of my cousins are either still in school, are scraping to make ends meet and make their career in NYC, or just still living like a frat guy. My younger brother is also doing similarly which explains why he took recieved a card. He is only a year older than this cousin.
No, I have never recieved a gift from these cousins. The two cousins I made my bridesmaids and I gift each other for special occassions, but we are friends.
I had a high school, college, and law school graduation party and they were invited but did not give a gift – the parents did for my high school only I believe (they didn’t attend college/law school graduations).
I believe this is a hint that now that my brother and I are expected to gift and chip in with my aunts/uncles. My aunt threw a party for mhy grandmother’s birthday not too long ago and asked that I chip in for the cost of food along with all my grandmother’s children (I was the only granddaughter asked to contribute) so I also took that as a hint. It could also be that they think I have a lot of money due to the fact I’m a lawyer…lol they are very wrong. It woulda been nice if these people would have, i dunno, gave me a wedding shower or wedding gift. But I’m not going to be petty about it. 🙂
Post # 22
everyone thinks lawyers have a lot of money……not so much. Especially with student loans. I’d not chip in and like a PP said, use the opportunity to distance yourself from gift grabby opportunities so they know you won’t be giving to these things all the time, as they arise.