Post # 1
I need advice/opinions on a sensitive topic. My grandfather past away 11.10.08 and it left the family devastated.. and I haven’t handled it very well. Our wedding is 10.23.09 and I want to do something in his memory; to show my love and how I know he is still there. I have a few ideas but I want to make sure it is something tasteful and not something that is going to be a major cheer jerker especially since my grandma isn’t handling it so well either. It will almost be 1 year to the day and I just want to do something.
Please let me know your ideas or if this is just not the time and place to do anything… thanks ladies
Post # 3
My grandfather passed away 10 years ago, but it is still fresh for my grandmother, I’m planning on having his favorite flowers at the wedding (Birds of paradise). it wont be obvious to anyone who didnt know him, but it will be clear to my immediate family that he’s there wiht us. and it hopesfully wotn be somethign that its too much from my grandma to handle.
Post # 4
I saw someone do this on tv and thought it was a great idea. They put a red rose where the person who passed would of sat so not to forget about them. I am thinking of doing this for an Aunt who passed away that I was very close too.
Post # 5
I saw that too.. it was the grooms mother.. and he did it at the ceremony. I thought of that but no one will see my rose since the church as pews and not chairs like that wedding did…
Post # 6
I know some people do memorial flowers/candles at the front of the altar to commemorate a loved one and make note of it in the program. We’re doing candles for the six grandparents who can’t be with us anymore. We’re also having a photo display at the reception on the table with the guest book, and it will include loved ones who’ve passed away.
Post # 7
I’ve seen people mention their deceased loved ones in the program, make a donation to a charity they supported, place pictures of them (like your grandparents wedding picture) near the guest book at the reception, or light a candle during the ceremony in memory of them.
While I think the idea of placing a flower where they would have been seated is very touching- I think it would fall under the ‘tear jerker’ category. My cousin did this in memory of her mother who had recently passed before the wedding. It was very emotional seeing that place of honor empty except for flowers. Imagine your grandma sitting next to an empty seat. I think it would be better for her to be seated next to a loved one.
I’m sorry for your loss. Just try to remember that your grandpa would be so sad to see you and your grandmother greiving this way. I’m sure he would want you to be happy and celebrate- not mourn and diminish your joy.
Post # 8
Thanks Rosy.. I feel the same way about the rose and the empty seat.. I feel that is a constant reminder throughout the night… I know during church the priest will say something.
I like the picture idea so far…
Post # 9
I’m gonna do probably on a table near the sign in book, a remembrance candle and will have (might just do the photo centerpiece idea for this) pics of my father and some of his parents all of whom have passed. I also will have a white rose laying beside the candle/photos and on either side two hats which remind me of him: his air force dress hat, and his "Mr. Fix It" baseball hat.
Post # 10
We’re going to have a memorial table at my wedding with an engraved vase with his favorite flowers, a framed poem that I found online that is totally him, and my brother is an artist so he is going to draw him and we’ll frame that as well. We’re also thinking of using awareness bracelets as favors since he died of multiple sclerosis.
Post # 11
Thanks for all the ideas… I had seen a special memorial table. Here is my next problem. I have expressed my desire to do something and for whatever reason.. my mother thinks it is ridiculous.. (mind you – she is just normally a very negative person, i try to take her opinions with a grain of salt, but it is hard)… Do I just do what I want to do… should I ask my grandmother’s opinion??
Post # 12
If you can talk about this with your grandmother, I think you should. She’ll be happy just to know that you are considering honoring your grandfather. Your mom may not realize that this is pretty common as we’ve all lost family/ friends we want to share our weddings with. Your grandmother might be able to help you choose the best idea or come up with another good idea. Plus, it might be good for her to know what you’re thinking ahead of time so you don’t overwhelm her the day of.