(Closed) Grandfather will not attend wedding because of my views

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh, this is sad…! I’m sorry that your grandfather isn’t willing to come to your wedding over this. Have you tried to talk to him in person/over the phone about it at all? (It sounds like some of the initial conversation occurred over FB) I think he might regret not attending your wedding and it sounds like he’s getting wrapped up in something that has nothing to do with your wedding. I know the responsibility shouldn’t be on you to make the extra effort but if you will regret not having him there, you might want to consider reaching out to him again.

Post # 33
Member
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If he wants to be a close-minded judgemental person, he doesn’t need to be in your life. HIs loss! Surround yourself with love. You’ll be happier for it.

Post # 34
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

How sad that he would choose anger and resentment and bitterness over love and humility and patience. I’m no Christian, but whatever happened to not casting stones? Or the Beatitudes? I would write him a long and thoughtful letter expressing disappointment in him and sorrow that after so many years of trying earnestly to live a good life, he’s reaping such bitter fruit. You can’t control whether or not he’ll come, but you can at least communicate your own thoughts and feelings on the subject in terms that may resonate with him.

Post # 35
Member
2582 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When my grandmother first found out she was dying, one of the first things she said to us was how much she regretted spending time in her life being angry over other people’s lives (my aunt is gay and it took her a while to come to terms with it).  I think every person who has spent more than 5 microseconds being bothered by gay people and gay people wanting to get married will end up with the same regret.  I think without you getting in to a discussion about the issue, you can ask him , no matter how he feels about it, if he really thinks its worth spending any more of his time being angry about it.

Post # 36
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So sad. My heart goes out to you. 

I agreee with the PP’s about writing a heart felt letter. 

Maybe even go so far as to tell him that you will save a place for him, no matter how last minute he may change his mind? 

Post # 37
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@drumkitt:  I’m glad I’m not the only one readily stirring up drama at my wedding in solid support of something that should have been done a long time ago.  Thanks for your efforts!  🙂

Post # 38
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m sorry your grandfather is so closeminded and can’t accept love for what it is. I can’t fathom how anyone can be against SSM, let alone against someone’s opinion about it, when it really doesn’t effect them at all. It’s baffling.

If he doesn’t come, it’s his loss. Just try and enjoy your day.

Post # 39
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Honestly? He’ll get over it once he realises what a child he was being. Ignore him for now, and then in a few months send out a letter with another invitation saying that, although you may not always see eye to eye, you will be reserving him a space at your wedding should he decide to come, and you would appreciate his company.

Make two seating plans… one for if he comes, and one for if he doesn’t. Give them both to your day of co-ordinator, and get a family member to call him the day before to check whether he is coming or not.

My guess is that he will come.

Post # 40
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

View original reply
@shady_lane:  This 100% .  I am sorry that you have to deal with this.  But I agree that giving in to him will make him think he’s OK to demand things his way at all times.
View original reply
@Rachel631: ‘s idea is a good one as well. 

 

Please do not change your beliefs to please anyone.  The gay community – scrap that – the world needs as many vocal people as possible standing up for the rights of individuals to be able to marry the person they love, if they so wish!

Post # 41
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t see how people still, in this day and age, do not support marriage equality. 

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