Grandfathers wedding band.

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
29 posts
  • Wedding: September 1983

newman62 :  she sounds very childish to me (sorry – I know you love her). You are the one who will be wearing the ring and it clearly means a lot to you. I’ve been married for forty five years and my husband has never worn a ring of any kind. I used to think I’d like him to have a wedding band but he’s just not into jewellery of any kind so I respect that. If your fiancée can’t understand why you want your grandpa’s ring then seriously she needs to grow up. If she’s dictating to you like this now, think how much you’re going to have to do as you’re told when you’re married. I have three sons who are all older than you and I’d be very worried if their partners were so lacking in kindness. Dig your heels in boy!

Post # 3
96 posts
Worker bee

Ugh, my comment didn’t post.

Your Fiance sounds really immature. I wouldn’t change anything to your grandfather’s ring. Wear it as a necklace or on the other hand.

Post # 4
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I don’t know why but your Fiance gives me a vibe that she doesn’t like her engagement ring that she picked and is now unhappy that she has to find a matching ring to go with her engagement ring that she doesn’t like.

I’d say, stick to what you want. Cos she’s clearly just being immature and bridezilla.

Post # 5
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

newman62 :  I’d ask her if she doesn’t like her engagement ring, and it that is affecting her attitude about your ring choice. If she wants something different, are you open to her picking out new rings? 

Post # 6
5827 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

It’s your ring, so it’s your choice.

Post # 7
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would do nothing with the grandfather’s ring and would keep it as it is anyway. May be right now she is having crazy wedding fever (lots of the brides go through strange feelings towards anything related to the wedding), and may be she will come around in some months and you can wear it without any issues from her side.

Post # 8
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

First off, do NOT alter your grandfather’s ring. Second, it boggles my mind that anyone can be so against something so sentimental to their partner. Also the fact that she was okay with gpop’s ring at first and now she changes her mind? Doesn’t work like that. ‘Least not with me. Always stick to your word. I say stand your ground.

Post # 9
2594 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

If this is what you want and have put a lot of thought into, don’t budge. Tell her how much it means to you. Does she have a problem with her rings? Maybe you need to ask her why she feels this way and if she doesn’t like her rings, can she exchange them?

Post # 10
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

It’s the ring you wear every day, not her. You wear it. Don’t change it unless you want to.

If she wanted to pick her own rings, why didn’t she?

Post # 11
5581 posts
Bee Keeper

You need to calmly explain to her this is not a game, or a competition. She doesn’t get to put stipulations on what you wear, what you eat, or the ring you want to wear. Put your foot down. If this is a precursor for what’s to come, batten down the hatches.

Post # 12
12684 posts
Honey Beekeeper

She’s being ridiculous and controlling. By your account SHE picked out the engagement ring that you bought, SHE decided her wedding band had to match and what it would look like and now SHE wants to dictate that you can’t wear your grandfather’s ring. 

Unless your execution of the ring she wanted was not what she actually wanted, I’m not following her logic. Actually, that’s what I do suspect. 

Either way the engagement ring was a gift and your grandfather’s ring is an heirloom you cherish. A more apt comparison would be if she had an heirloom ring which you refused to let her wear.

Post # 13
6944 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You should wear the ring that makes you happy and she should wear the ring that makes her happy. Suggest she go find another wedding band for herself if that’s what it takes for her to feel comfortable having her way, but don’t give in to her ring tantrum by giving up something that is so important to you. 

What other things have the two of you agreed to that are now up for renegotiation? 

Post # 14
5948 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

WOW! I just cannot believe she’s looking past the deep sentiment of your grandfather’s ring and focusing on some childish ‘keeping score’ notion. I would FOR SURE not alter a ring that meant so much to me. That’s just mean.

Post # 15
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I agree with PPs – your ring, your choice.

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