Post # 1
My grandparents died before I was born, but my parents have always told me how much they would have cared for and loved me. My mother tells me how much i remind her of her dad. When i was a teenager my mother decided to give me my grandfathers wedding band. All the stories and memories behind the ring made me really cherish it. Not long after receving it i knew i wanted it to be the ring i would one day wear with my wife. That day is swiftly approaching now. I am 25 and my fiance and I will be married next year. When i first told her my plan for rhe ring she was very accepting. Now that has changed. She says that she thinks it isnt fair that i got to pick out her engagement ring, her wedding band, and also mine. However i picked out the engagement ring she showed me, and she chose herself to pick the matching wedding band, but insists that because i chose rhat engagemnt ring tgat she had to chose the matching band. She wants me to pick a new band, or have my grandfathers altered to represent us and our new marriage. I love her but i feel torn. Ive had this ring for years and knew it was what i wanted butbnow i i feel like its no longer ok for me to ware it. Any advice?
Post # 2
newman62 : she sounds very childish to me (sorry – I know you love her). You are the one who will be wearing the ring and it clearly means a lot to you. I’ve been married for forty five years and my husband has never worn a ring of any kind. I used to think I’d like him to have a wedding band but he’s just not into jewellery of any kind so I respect that. If your fiancée can’t understand why you want your grandpa’s ring then seriously she needs to grow up. If she’s dictating to you like this now, think how much you’re going to have to do as you’re told when you’re married. I have three sons who are all older than you and I’d be very worried if their partners were so lacking in kindness. Dig your heels in boy!
Post # 3
Ugh, my comment didn’t post.
Your Fiance sounds really immature. I wouldn’t change anything to your grandfather’s ring. Wear it as a necklace or on the other hand.
Post # 4
I don’t know why but your Fiance gives me a vibe that she doesn’t like her engagement ring that she picked and is now unhappy that she has to find a matching ring to go with her engagement ring that she doesn’t like.
I’d say, stick to what you want. Cos she’s clearly just being immature and bridezilla.
Post # 5
newman62 : I’d ask her if she doesn’t like her engagement ring, and it that is affecting her attitude about your ring choice. If she wants something different, are you open to her picking out new rings?
Post # 6
It’s your ring, so it’s your choice.
Post # 7
I would do nothing with the grandfather’s ring and would keep it as it is anyway. May be right now she is having crazy wedding fever (lots of the brides go through strange feelings towards anything related to the wedding), and may be she will come around in some months and you can wear it without any issues from her side.
Post # 8
First off, do NOT alter your grandfather’s ring. Second, it boggles my mind that anyone can be so against something so sentimental to their partner. Also the fact that she was okay with gpop’s ring at first and now she changes her mind? Doesn’t work like that. ‘Least not with me. Always stick to your word. I say stand your ground.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
If this is what you want and have put a lot of thought into, don’t budge. Tell her how much it means to you. Does she have a problem with her rings? Maybe you need to ask her why she feels this way and if she doesn’t like her rings, can she exchange them?
Post # 10
It’s the ring you wear every day, not her. You wear it. Don’t change it unless you want to.
If she wanted to pick her own rings, why didn’t she?
Post # 11
You need to calmly explain to her this is not a game, or a competition. She doesn’t get to put stipulations on what you wear, what you eat, or the ring you want to wear. Put your foot down. If this is a precursor for what’s to come, batten down the hatches.
Post # 12
She’s being ridiculous and controlling. By your account SHE picked out the engagement ring that you bought, SHE decided her wedding band had to match and what it would look like and now SHE wants to dictate that you can’t wear your grandfather’s ring.
Unless your execution of the ring she wanted was not what she actually wanted, I’m not following her logic. Actually, that’s what I do suspect.
Either way the engagement ring was a gift and your grandfather’s ring is an heirloom you cherish. A more apt comparison would be if she had an heirloom ring which you refused to let her wear.
Post # 13
You should wear the ring that makes you happy and she should wear the ring that makes her happy. Suggest she go find another wedding band for herself if that’s what it takes for her to feel comfortable having her way, but don’t give in to her ring tantrum by giving up something that is so important to you.
What other things have the two of you agreed to that are now up for renegotiation?
Post # 14
WOW! I just cannot believe she’s looking past the deep sentiment of your grandfather’s ring and focusing on some childish ‘keeping score’ notion. I would FOR SURE not alter a ring that meant so much to me. That’s just mean.
Post # 15
I agree with PPs – your ring, your choice.