- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
So my FH and I decided, since we have already picked out the ring and that I knew that it was coming, that we would tell everyone at Thanksgiving that we have decided to get married next year. He asked my dad if he could marry me Thanksgiving night and we talked to both of my parents the next day. Everyone we have tol has been super excted for us!
Enter my grandmonther, my dad’s mom. We went to visit them because my grandpa is sick and going through chemo right now. We were there for about an hour and the entire time she was cleaning and running around and maybe sat down for 5 minutes the entire time we were there. We told my grandpa and he is really excited for us. Well we told her, and her responce was “Good for you.: in a very dry, sarcastic tone.
Now we had a falling out when FH and I movied in together. She is old school and still believes that you should not move in with your SO until after you are married. She told me she was dissapointed in me for making this decision. I went through school and got my degree, have been working at the same job for almost 5 years, have had my own place and been able to pay all of my own bills. She helped me some with school by sending care packages and that, but she has told me that I never appreciated any of it. I always said thank you and I think she expected me to bend down and kiss her feet.
Well, as we were leaving and I said goodbye, she decided it was the appropriate time for us to have a talk about how I have hurt her. When I told her about FH and I moving in together, she made me feel terrible about doing it and had me in tears, to which she responded, quit your boo hooing. This hurt me and I needed to talk to someone. Well, I spoke to my mom and other grandma about it, and my dad got wind of it and talked to his mom about it. My dad’s mom said that it was between her and I and that I don’t need to talk top anyone else about it. She has never gotten along with my mom and her mom and says that we all treat her like the black sheep, which is so not true.
So she and I have the talk. At first I said we should do it at a time in which it is just her and I. She said we need to have the talk and may as well do it now, even though my grandpa is sick and would make him upset, and said this right in front of grandpa and FH. Luckily for me, my grandpa took FH and showed him stuff around the house to get him away from us. She then got in my face about how my other grandma sent her a nasty birthday card (it was a funny card that she apparently found inappropriate) and that I should have never said anything to my mom and that I have hurt her by not being appreciative of anything she has ever done (which is not true).
So long story short, I was once again in tears, and she said that she didn’t know if she would be there for the wedding, and that if I have the bridal shower in the town I live in now, rather than in my hometown where she is at, that she will not be there because she doesn’t drive (which I know this) but didn’t even say she would ask my aunt or mom if she could ride up with them. I told her that I hope my grandpa will be there, and she said he will be, but she hasn’t decided if she will be there or not.
So after FH and I left, I cried for a bit, then came to the conclusion that I am not that important to her if she doesn’t even know if she will be there or not, though my brother and I are her only grandchildren, and that it will be on her if she doesn’t come. I will still invite her, but the day is about FH and I and if she is just going to be there for drama, I don’t want her there.
Sorry, had to get that off my chest! Thanks Bees!