Post # 1
For the wedding I had told everyone that I’m fine with them wearing whatever they wanted as long as it isn’t a white dress. Tonight I was having dinner with my family and my Grandma told me that she is having a dress made for the wedding, and pulled out fabric samples that were Ivory satin! I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it because my dress is Ivory and I should be the only one with a dress that color, and she told me I should suck it up and I can’t be selfish and dictate what people will wear! I’ve been trying to hard to be polite and flexible about everything wedding related, but I’m really upset about this. She told me it was non-negotiable so there’s nothing I can really do. Just venting I guess 🙁
Post # 3
I would just let it be. But that is very rude of her, you would think that a grandma would be pleased to let the focus be on the bride. I used to have a grandmother just that way, when my parents got married she even showed up to the wedding packed to go “on vacation” with my parents (their honeymoon).
Post # 4
That’s pretty rude of her. Do you have another relative that could step in and let her know that she’s being inappropriate?
Post # 5
Ironically, I’m watching an episode of Bridezillas in which the mother of the bride was told to find any black and white dress, given that it’s mainly black. Instead she bought an all white dress! The bride and mother both flipped at each other!
You’re request isn’t selfish or dictating in any way! It’s a respect thing! I’ve actually said out loud that I will have NO problem kicking anyone out of the ceremony/reception who is too drunk or acting a fool. I just might have to kick people out for wearing the wrong things!
Post # 6
I think I will have to let it be. I would be less bothered if it was just a guest, but my grandma will will be in all the pictures, etc. My dad agrees with me that it’s wrong but she’d never listen to him (it’s my mom’s mom not his) and I don’t think anyone else would talk to her.
tksjewelry – I can’t believe she thought she could go on their honeymoon! That’s totally insane
Post # 7
Trust me, no one is going to mistake Grandma for the bride! Most people may think she looks a bit ridiculous, but that’s her problem, not yours. Can you have your mom talk to her? We had a similar problem with 85 year old step-Grandma for my son’s wedding next month. She hates to shop so she wanted to wear something that she already had in her closest. She first showed me an ivory suit which I had to tell her she couldn’t wear because I explained to her that only the bride wears white. She acted all surprised which I knew was phony because she is like Miss Manners. She then proceded to show me the same aqua dress she wore to my other son’s wedding 3 years ago. Again I said no. Finally she showed me a powder blue sheath dress she wore to her daughters wedding 10 YEARS ago! Sigh. I gave up and said okay because at least it isn’t white!
Post # 8
If there is no one she will listen to and it addressing it will cause even more drama I would just leave it. I agree with futuremominlaw that it will only reflect poorly on her – no one will blame you. And nobody will mistake her for the bride!
And wow, expecting to go on the honeymoon is outrageous!!
Post # 9
I think this is totally ridiculous of grandma, however, hopefully her dress is very grandma-like and won’t look AT ALL like a wedding dress. Either way, I dont think it’s cool. You didn’t say if you could get your mom to talk to her? Maybe she can wear a colored jacket or something. I just don’t get why family wants to wear white! My mom wore red and was concerned I’d think it was too bold for her. Sheesh. It ain’t white and it ain’t head to toe sequined! Those were my only rules for my MIL and my mom–don’t be more sequined than me (i think it’s strange when the MOB/MOG dresses are more formal than the bridal gown)!
LOL my parents said something about how if we did the destination wedding they wanted (and said they’d pay for, but we’d turn it down), it would be fun because we COULD ALL HANG OUT. And mom promised they’d leave us alone. Yeah right. I could NEVER expect my parents to fly to Jamaica and stay less than 2 weeks, even if it was for OUR wedding and we were there on OUR honeymoon. Man, they have boundary issues =]
Nobody will blame you. However, I can guarantee that most of the guests will think your grandma has no manners or tact =. Maybe your mom can mention that to her–i know MY grandma was UBER concerned about what others thought of her!
Post # 10
My fiance’s 83 year-old grandma is wearing an ivory suit that she just bought. I honestly don’t know what she and my future MIL were thinking (they bought it togehter) but I don’t think anyone will mistake her for the bride!!! They’re Scottish (like live in Scotland) so there may be different ettiquette rules with not wearing white. Ce la vie.
Post # 11
That is really rude- I would have maybe your mom or dad talk to her, because that was very selfish of her.
Post # 12
Hi, I agree that maybe someone could tell her that people will think SHE has no manners/tact. Maybe you could gift her a colored jacket! hee hee 🙂
Post # 13
ecorachel – I’m scottish and can assure you white at a wedding is a massive no -no!