(Closed) Grandma’s Ring

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would just tell him you would definately like to have the diamond reset in a setting that is your style:) its still an heirloom diamond and then everyone is happy 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

@ms. anne thrope:

Oh gosh, I don’t know what to say except I hope you LOVE it!  I found out after daddy died that mom never liked her engagement ring/wedding set-but I guess it grew on her.

Post # 5
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I got my fiance’s grandma’s diamond reset into a different setting since the original wasn’t my style and his mom even said she preferred that since it was something I’d wear and love so I agree that’s the way to go.

Post # 6
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

What if you just used the family stone (diamond or whatever) and had it set into a ring of your (and your boyfriend’s) choosing? That way you get the family heirloom, but still a ring that you know you’ll love. 

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My hubby gave me his great grandma’s ring, his mom wore it before me. His mom told me I could get it reset, but I didn’t want to, it’s beautiful as is and extra special since it came from his family.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it until you actually see it. If you like vintage, there’s a good chance you’ll love it.

Post # 8
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it is wonderful that his family loves you enough to entrust a family heirloom to you and you obviously respect them.  However, you definitely need to have something you like.  I think you should be honest with him about your concerns.  Or, let’s say the diamond is beautiful but the setting is not.  Would his family object to you resetting the diamond?  Or you love the setting but the diamond isn’t what you had in mind…

It’s hard not to sound ungrateful.  When Fiance and I were ring shopping, he kept picking out the ugliest settings.  Finally I told him that I wanted something I loved and couldn’t wait to put on every morning.  He eventually just bought me what I wanted, which was thousands less than what he had been looking at.  And he beams every time a complete stranger compliments me on my beautiful ring!

Post # 9
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

My Fiance gave me his grandmother’s ring.  I probably would not have picked out this exact ring in this exact setting, but now I can’t imagine having anything else.  She (his grandmother) said I could change the setting if I wanted to, but it fits and I really love the idea of wearing something just as a family member wore it – like connecting the generations.  She also gave us her wedding band, which is certainly not what I would’ve picked out, but I’m going to wear it for the same reasons.  Sorry if this doesn’t help you, but I guess my point is: even if it isn’t what you have in mind already, it may be the perfect ring for you! 🙂  The feeling of having an heirloom is awesome!

Post # 10
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well, I guess in this situation you’re just gonna have to wait and see. Sounds like he really wants to surprise you with it (as in, not show it to you beforehand), and it may very well be surprisingly within your taste! You might love it! Who knows? If you get it and really can’t stand it, then I’d bring up resetting the diamond as an option. No sense hassling him about it now when there’s still a chance there won’t be an issue with it. I totally get you though… I’m also extremely picky and I’d be very nervous if I knew SO was planning on giving me an heirloom ring that I had no clue what it was like. *crossing fingers for you, hoping it’s pretty!!* lol 🙂

Post # 11
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I definetly know the feeling bc me and one of my exs had the same deal that I would get his grandmas ring (we never got engaged).  I just said “but what if I dont like it?”  foot in my mouth.  I definetly was not thinking before I said that.  lol.  I would just take the engagment ring.  Obviously it means a lot to his family.  Then after the engagment you would have a wedding band that you picked out. You will have a big engagment ring diamond to show off no matter what it sounds like.

Post # 12
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You may love it, you never know!

You can either tell him beofre hand that you would like it reset so the ring do it can be amde to your likes. Or, reset it after so that it ‘fits’ you perfectly. I’m guessing you will have to have it resized and often time witht he intricate setting of vintage rings, they can’t always resize without loosing band integrity or preserving the setting. SO this would be an opportunity to reset it without huritn anyone’s feeling.

Post # 13
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t make any comments beforehand that you’re even considerig not liking it and getting it reset, etc.  He’s probably already nervous about whether or not you’ll like it.  I say wait and see how you feel about it after you have it on your finger for a few days.

Post # 14
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe you will love it! If not, there is always the option of removing the stone and melting the band material and creating it into something you love – that way you are keeping all the elements of his grandma’s ring. I think, however, this is very risky because you are being presented with a ring, and not another form of jewelry (like a necklace or something) and people might be offended that you are “butchering” it. 

Post # 15
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have my grandmother’s diamond.  The ring had grown too fragile from so many happy years of wear and tear that it wouldn’t have held up for another person to wear it 50+ years!  So definitely check, especially if it is gold.

I had the diamond re-set and I’m going to incorporate the wedding ring into a necklace to give my younger sister. 

My grandmother’s bridal set from the 1940’s was a simple gold 6 prong solitaire and gold wedding band fused together.  I don’t think it would stand up and scream “I am vintage” to the average joe if I had chosen to wear it.

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