Post # 1
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
I will begin by saying my relationship is rocky with my Grandma. Ever since my Mom passed away (her daughter) she has not agreed with one single thing my Dad or I have done. She may not even attend my wedding (that’s a story for another day).
I sent out my Save the Dates a month ago. I live in AZ now but am from WI, born and raised until I moved after my Bachelors degree. I have attended parties/showers/4th of July celebrations with my Great Aunts/Uncles while growing up. I decided to invite a handful of them to my wedding. My Grandma recently found out and is LIVID. “You should have asked me first.” “I told your cousin not to invite them to his wedding in AZ.” “It seems like you are looking for a handout since you know they cannot attend.”
Are you kidding!? #1 It’s my wedding – I can invite who I want. #2 My cousin never lived in WI. He has been in AZ 20+ years of his life and couldn’t even pick these relatives out of a crowd. What does that have to do with me and my wedding!? #3 My relatives know me well enough to understand I am not asking for nor require a gift. I make good money, am a bride in my 30’s and don’t need anything from anyone. I want these relatives to know the happy news that I’m getting married. A $3 card from Walgrees with a Congratulations note would suffice.
Who is in the wrong? Her or I?
Post # 3
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
is she paying? if not, she has no say.
even if she was paying, it wouldn’t matter. it’s your wedding, not hers. invite who you want.
Post # 4
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Just ignore her. She sounds like a somewhat toxic influence on your life. Just draw a healthy boundary and move on.
Post # 5
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
@colorofmyheart: Not paying a dime. She needs to be the center of attention. News flash – I’m the bride so it’s not all about you! Sorry if I sound mean. This is the tip of the iceberg with the crap she’s pulled…
Post # 6
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
@crayfish: I agree – feels dang good to get my rant out though! 🙂
Post # 7
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
Oh your grandmother… Just smile and nod and do what you need to do. If she won’t attend your wedding because of it… that’s on her.
Post # 8
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee
@ScottsdaleBride: She is definitely in the wrong. You can deal with this by either A. “Thanks for the input, Grandma. I’ll keep that in mind.” (aka ignore it), or B. “Blow it out your ass, granny, it’s my wedding, not yours!”
I’d go with option A, as it’s a nicer way of telling her to bugger off. 
Post # 9
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
I agree with everyone else that you invite who YOU want and you don’t need Granny’s permission.
I do have a question though – prior to your mom’s passing was Grandma like this or has this behavior happened since you lost your mom?
Post # 10
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
@ScottsdaleBride: i’d come right out with what you just said- say exactly what you said with the newsflash bit. she’s being ridiculous. yes, she’s your grandmother. however, this is your wedding. not hers. she has no say in anything. all she has say in is whether she comes or not.
Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
Such a reversal to read a post about bride wanting to invite more relatives than close family wants to invite!
Just ignore her.
Post # 12
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
Wow just ignore the crazy grandma.
Post # 13
Member
4370 posts
Honey bee
She can say whatever she wants – the Save-The-Date Cards are out, so it’s too late for her to change your mind!
Post # 14
Member
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Umm don’t share details with her since you already know she is judgy. If she found out through family that you invited people she doesn’t agree with inviting then just tell her straight out “sorry, grandma. It isn’t your wedding.” Or just say “Yup.” and do what you need to do.
Post # 15
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
@hermom: Great question. She was like this but I believe my Mom took the brunt of it. I was sheltered from her crazy. I do believe it has gotten 1000% worse since my mom passed. A tragedy either brings people closer together or tears them apart. You find out who is TRULY there for you. Thanks for your advice.
Post # 16
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
@Sweet_Tea: LOL Option B made me laugh out loud.
