(Closed) Grandmother very ill…should we postpone wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this.  We cancelled our wedding because my dad has a few months left to live and our wedding would have been right in the middle.  As of now he is still with us (a whole plane ride away).  He’s got 1-3 months left and the wedding was to be in w months (July).  I am so very grateful that we cancelled.  My family was beyond relieved.  FI’s family was understanding.


I can now fly home monthly and put funds towards expensive plane tickets.  I’d lie awake at night thinking he’s going to die the week of my wedding.  It’d be awful.


I’m pretty sure I don’t want to plan another wedding again though.  My family produced a lot of stress even without my dad’s issues.  I think we’ll just elope on a kick ass vacation once I’ve mourned. 

You can read our progress here:

Dad has 3-6 months to live; wedding is in 5 months

19 days to decided if we’re going through with this wedding!

The wedding has been undone.

Post # 5
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think I look for empathy on these boards, so my posts aren’t always the most chipper.  Overall, there isn’t anything about my personal life that I have to complain about, thankfully!  Fiance comments on how balanced I am given the stresses, so maybe you all just see the negative stuff.  My family does wear me out sometimes, and I don’t even live near them.

I think you’re doing a great job dealing with it and analyzing it; I agree with what you’ve said.  Yes, your emotions will go back and forth.  I wanted to be 100% good with our decision, but the reality is you just have to go with what you know at the time and be OK with it.  I was indeed relieg (a little sad), and I cannot believe how well I slept for the month after the cancellation.

wedding day should be a gentle moment in the middle of all that richness

Yes!  What wonderful way to put it.

I agree it sounds like the best thing to do (cancel) in this situation to relieve family of that choice, but I could be bias.  If they are having to travel to see grandma that is an extra burden on them.  If you can get $ back that also helps with the decision.

Regrouping sounds like a great idea.  Return back to what you both are wanting for your special day.  I will be following your posts as well!

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