(Closed) Grandpa not coming….Feeling crushed…What would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My grandfather (stepgrandfather, but the only grandfather I’ve ever known) decided the day before my rehearsal dinner that he wasn’t coming to my wedding. I didn’t receive any notice until I talked to my mother when she was on her way (about a 7 hour drive) and found out he hadn’t gotten in the car with them. I cried a solid 24 hours (and was an emotional wreck at my wedding). I understand how disappointed you feel. I really do. I wish with all my heart that he just would have let me know in advance that he just wasn’t feeling up to making the trip because I wouldn’t have felt so shattered about everything I had done because I was so happy he was coming (his name was in the programs, I had bought a boutonniere, I purchased his favorite beer for the rehearsal dinner, had planned to get a special picture of my husband, my grandparents, and me, etc., etc.).

It took me a couple of months to get over the hurt and we’ve never discussed it (mainly because it made me cry everytime I talked about it for a solid month), but I know I don’t have much time left with him so I can’t let it destroy the 20 year relationship we’ve had. My advice is not to try to change his mind. Let him know how much he’ll be missed and that you understand the difficulty of traveling (even though I know it hurts he’s making other trips) and don’t let it ruin your wedding. You have every right to feel hurt and disappointed and sad about it, but try not to let it hurt your relationship with him.

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