Grandparents and car seat safety

posted 6 months ago in Parenting
Post # 46
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

“When they messed up that time, was it the first time they put them in the car seats on their own?  It’s not rocket science, and I do think its patronizing the way you’re trying to make them ‘learn’ and to ask for pictures every time so I’m not surprised it’s not being well received… “

This.

Frankly,  the idea that your parents need to send you an image of the child strapped in is really quite nutty TBH. If you don’t trust them,  then don’t leave your kids with them.  That’s easy.  Trouble is,  you want them to baby sit when it suits you.  You can’t have your cake and all that…….

It seems your husband agrees….

Post # 47
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

“They also don’t respect their timing needs and brought them back on New Years 2 hours late and fucked up my toddler’s nap that day, which I explicitly explained would happen if they were late “

Seriously…….????????

I would turn round and thank them for looking after my children…… 

 

Post # 49
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

kb7 :  why can’t you drop them off and pick them up? You still get the baby sitting in and you don’t have to worry ….

Post # 52
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

“I’m trying to respect their desire as grandparents to see their grandchildren as well as keep my children’s well-being my top priority. “

I totally get this as a parent.  However,  I think all mums need to be reasonable and understanding when it comes to showing others to care for their baby.  

It reminds me of when my aunt bought her kids to my grans to babysit along with a list of her 9 months old schedule down to the half hour. I mean,  she did raise kids once herself. 

When I drop my babies (now preteens) to my parents , i have the knowledge of knowing they’ve raised three of their own….. and the chances of both you and I having missed a day sleep or two as toddlers is pretty high. 

 

Post # 54
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yes, car seat safety is vital and I’m also a routine mama (my 2yro’s routine is what keeps me sane) however, I think you’ve gone OTT in your response here and have been super rude to your parents. 

Fit the car seat and show them how it works. Demanding they watch YouTube videos and send you photos is overkill. Also my in laws would have no idea how to do either. 

You have to trust them. They love your kids and have no desire to hurt them. The last incident is likely to have been a genuine mistake. They know now. 

As for the nap thing, calmly explain why your daughter has her nap time when it is and remind them of the basic schedule. I don’t know what health issue she has, but missing one nap isn’t going to cause a lifetime of damage. Besides at around 2 some kids start to drop their nap. kb7 :  

Post # 55
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

“They also don’t respect their timing needs and brought them back on New Years 2 hours late and fucked up my toddler’s nap that day, which I explicitly explained would happen if they were late “

“The nap isn’t the issue here”

No.  The nap was an issue.  ^^^^

“You don’t know the details of my daughter’s health “

True. But missing a day nap by 2 hours has no adverse health effects last time I checked

Post # 56
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was thinking some more about this and you mentioned about workinf full time and not seeing your kids as much as you’d like.

I worked full time until recently (on mat leave with #2) and I know how hard it is to be away more than you’re home sometimes. I wonder if you have some mum guilt going on here which is making some of these things worse. And that you are projecting that guilt on to your parents. Kinda like ‘I feel guilty for being away’ and then something like the car seat happens and you think ‘I knew I shouldn’t be away, if I wasn’t away this wouldn’t happen’ 

I just want to say feeling mum guilt is normal and it’s so hard to be a working mum. You’re doing a great job of being a mum but might be worth trying to be a bit mindful of what prompts some reactions .kb7 :  

Post # 58
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think anyone was trying to be mean, it’s just sometimes when you are in a situation you can’t see the wood for the trees. You also came into a public forum asking for advice – that means you will get a lot of advice that might not be what you want to hear. kb7 :  

Post # 60
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

kb7 :  it really sounds like more than the car seat, that and the showing up two hours late (!?) And you mentioned a strained relationship…do you think they are having problems recognizing you as an adult? You are no longer child-parent, you and your parents should be peers with equal respect and it seems like they are not respecting you.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors