(Closed) Grandparents from hell!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

A Church is a public place UNLESS it is being rented for an event. You don’t see people coming to pray when a wedding is going on. I think it will be fine.

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If it is causing so much stress, maybe she can move the location of the wedding and not tell your grandparents, 

Post # 6
Member
4325 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@KimHambly:  You may be in a tough spot. It may be easier to let them pass and keep a scene from brewing than to cause a huge hullaballoo by not allowing them in. That’s an executive decision you may need to consider, but if you choose to let them pass, at least keep them occupied and away from your sister. Enlist helpers for this task as well.

What are the circumstances behind the issues? What do they do that makes them so horrible? Is it a generational rift, or are they genuinely bad people? They may love and care for your family, but express it differently than others do in this day and age.

Post # 8
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@KimHambly:  Oh that would not fly with me.  If you said “well a church is a public place so you wont be able to keep us out” I would damn well have a couple people at the door dedicated to keeping you out.  Just make non-family members so there is less personal conflict at the door.

I don’t think the logic of the “public” venue applies to a wedding.  If you are paying to rent the space it is no longer “public”.  Tell them the police will remove them if they dare to show up.

Post # 9
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Many churches do indeed have an “open door” policy 24×7 and will not turn people away even when a wedding is going on. I would plan on them showing up– of course, try to talk them out of it (or maybe even have your parents give that a try, or an aunt or uncle), but I’d also enlist a group of trusted friends to arrive to the church a bit early and strategically seat themselves so as to form a “barrier” between the bridal party and any potential seat the grandparents would take.  Use ribbon or flower garland to block the first two pews so that the grandparents cannot sit there. And plan your exit so that again the friends form a barrier between the unwanted guests and the bridal party, and have the bridal party make a graceful but quick exit for the reception.

A reception— even if held on church property– is not an “open door” place. It’s not the hall of worship. If the grandparents are that nutto, hire a security guard to turn them away at the door.

Post # 11
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@KimHambly:  I see, I am sorry. I cant even begin to picture that grandparents can be this way. I really hope it all turns out well. 

Post # 12
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would check with the church policy. If it is indeed public then fine. Have the usher show to them to a seat where your sister will least be able to see them and designate someone to head them off if they try to get into the receiving line, or have the recieving line at the venue instead of the church so you sister can just head off as soon as she is married without having to see or talk to them. If it is NOT public, then I would put someone in charge or hire someone to be in charge of turning them away if they show up.

Also I just wanted to say you sounds like a great sister and it is so sweet of you to offer to take care of this so that your sister doesn’t have the added stress. You deserve some serious kudos!

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