(Closed) GREAT dream about former crush :-(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s just a dream. Romance is fun and the dream was probably like being in the middle of a movie for a little while. I don’t think you should feel guilty at all, you didn’t do anything. Your Fiance also has sexy dreams, he just knows better than to tell you! 😛

As long as you don’t go calling this guy in real life, you’re good haha

Post # 4
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

@redheadem: I’ll admit I still have VERY random and sporadic dreams about a guy I was seriously in love with in high school (dated briefly, but I always “carried a torch” for him, for some reason).  We don’t really talk any more, but every once in a while I’ll have these vivid dreams about him, even if I haven’t thought of him in a really long time.  Sometimes they’re just us hanging out, once it was even us getting married.  And yes, there have been a very few sex dreams about him.  I also feel guilty…i mean dreaming of a former crush while sleeping next to my future husband?  it makes me feel icky, but then I realize…I literally NEVER think of this person in my day-to-day life.  Ever.  It’s not like he’s in the back of my mind when I’m with Fiance.  And honestly, I’ve had thousands of dreams involving Fiance, so I figure my subconsious is just working this former love out of my system.  I’m not sure.  I wouldn’t think too far into it though…it does make you feel icky and like you’ve done something wrong, but you can’t control what your brain does.  I’m not one of those people who reads too much into dreams and try to interpret their meaning…so I never wake up thinking “OMG am I still in love with J???”  I know it’s nothing!

Post # 6
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I sometimes have dreams about guys I’ve had crushes on in the past. its weird but I cant control my dreams so I try not to worry about it too much.

Post # 7
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Don’t worry about it.  Dreams aren’t reality.  We can’t control what our brains cook up for us while we sleep. 

Post # 8
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

@redheadem: I’ve been there too…the dreams do briefly take me into “what if” mode.  I briefly rekindle the old flame in my head but for me, it usually fades within the day and before I know it, it’s been weeks and weeks before I even remember that I had the dream.  I do get the waking up and thinking “oh that never happened/isn’t happening/never will or did happen”.  My thing is this: the dreams are great and I finally get what I wanted so badly in HS (and more…i.e.: the dream in which I married him!), but then I see pics of him on FB and hear about what he’s up to and he’s no prize.  Not as cute as in HS, no education, and I’m pretty sure he was–at some point–on heroin.  So that kind of slams me back to reality when I realize I would be insane to linger on a dream of someone who isn’t a fraction as awesome and accomplished as my fiance is!

Post # 9
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Also, did you ever date this guy?  If not, it’s probably classic unrequited love.  It probably seems so great but also disappointing because in your dream you finally got what you wanted so bad in HS…it’s natural to be disappointed if you can still remember the feeling of wanting somthing so badly but never really getting it.

Post # 11
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have dreams about my ‘first love’ about once every 4-5 months (I didnt really love him, but I thought I did. Ahh to be 16 again). Over the years they have gone from being VERY emotionally and sexually charged (when I say sexually I mean it… they were intense!) to being me telling him I dont love him anymore and that my fiance is the man for me. I think for me my mind kept bringing him up as there was no real closure with him. Yes I was only 16, but at the time it felt very intense and it ended suddenly so I think it has taken a while for my subconcious to get over that. 

Dont worry about it. You are not cheating, nor do you want to cheat. You cannot control what you dream 🙂

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