(Closed) Great post on blog today…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1543 posts
Bumble bee

I love reading the blog, and I saw that post, too. It was a pretty good perspective on the whole power struggle. And funny, because I was just thinking about that very aspect of it last night. In the end though, as untraditional as our relationship has been up to this point, I know that waiting for him to propose to me, will be the right thing. It’s just a moment that I wouldn’t want to take away from him, or from myself, by asking him. Sigh, the things we go through for the ones we love, lol!

Post # 4
1088 posts
Bumble bee

We’re both pretty traditional, so the proposal is up to him.  BUT. . .we talk openly about engagement/marriage/future kids etc. and I am 100% glad that we can talk openly about these things.  I may be “traditional” is some respects, but this is 2010 and women have a right to know where they stand in their relationships!

SO is my best friend, and I’m grateful every day that we are on the same page. 

Sometimes when we’re talking about engagement and he reassures me it will happen, I tease him.  It goes something like this:  ME:”I want to be married.”  HIM:”There are steps first.”  ME:”Yes.  You need to buy me a ring and propose. Are you afraid I’ll say no?”  HIM: “No!  Of course not, baby!”  ME: “Well, see!  Don’t you realize your a lucky guy and you for sure won’t get rejected when you ask me?”  HIM: “Oh man!”

The funny part is that earlier in our relationship, I was more conservative than he was when it came to talking about the future.  Now we often call/text referring to eachother as “Future husband” or “Future wife”. 

Post # 5
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

i actually commented on that, and while i appreciate the sentiment, i’m really tired of hearing the whole, “be more active” or “just propose to him!” comments. i mean, i AM active in discussions but i can’t propose to him because he wants to do that and also because i want him to do it. its almost like when i hear people say “just propose to him” i feel like slapping my forehead and saying, “duh, that’s a brilliant idea! why didn’t i think of that?” oh wait, except i did think of that and i got a “no, that’s my job”. so…now what?

i just get a little bothered because it insinuates that i’m not doing anything and am just passively waiting when really i’m just as active as i can be. i’m doing something but there’s only so much that i can do.

Post # 6
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@tea: I went and read your reply and I think I love you! I wanted to say that also but I did not have the balls to do so.

 I personally would never propose to him for 2 reasons. 1. I would never want to take that away from him, when we first started dating he said to me “I don’t want to scare you, but I thought of a way to propose” When he said that I realized that this is something that he is looking forward to. 2. I would always wonder if he said yes because he really wanted to say yes or he said yes because he didn’t want to let me down. Confidence has never been my #1 strong suit.

 But, I do think it is awesome when a woman proposes to a man. It takes a lot of guts to go against the norm and to ask him, but if someone has the guts to do it then that is amazing.

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