Post # 1
I’m a 3828th or something like that generation Anglo-Saxon Australian, whilst my Fiance is Australian born to a Greek born father and a Cypriot born mother, and has been very much raised in Greek culture. He didn’t even learn to speak English until he was 7 and went to school! We are not going to do a full Greek Orthodox wedding as Fiance isn’t incredibly religious by nature, but there will be aspects of it incoperated in.
Something that his family really wants us to do is the traditional dance at the wedding where guests pin money on the bride, and it has been done at all the weddings in his family for generations now.
I know “money grabbing” is seen as greedy and tacky, but do you think if we were to do it (we ares till undecided, and the wedding is not for a while, so we have time to make up our minds), and it is how much of his family would be gifting us because they do the dance rather than putting it in a card and then dropping it into a wishing well, most people outside of his family would know it is a very time honoured Greek tradition rather than a tacky cash grab?
Post # 3
I really dislike the word “tacky” when applied to weddings, especially cultural/regional traditions. If it’s been done in all his family’s weddings for generations–and your fi and his family really want it done (if they don’t, and you don’t, then I wouldn’t worry about it)–I would put some information about it on both the wedding website and maybe in the program, maybe in a “Q & A” type section:
Q: Why are the guests pinning money on the bride at the reception?
A: This is a traditional Greek wedding ritual. (Explain more of the ritual) Any money will help the couple start their new life together. You are welcome to participate in this tradition, but do not feel like you have to! (or something of the sort)
Good luck! I know that we’re likely having a dollar dance at our wedding: it’s very common in our region/family and no one around us thinks it’s tacky here (rural Midwest). And if they DO think it’s tacky, then they need not participate: they’re grown adults who can make their own decisions!!
Post # 4
I think the more parts of your wedding that you can ‘personalize’ the better! If this is a part of his family’s wedding traditions I think it’s really neat and would be something unique to add to your reception.
I agree with RapunzelRapunzel though, it would be helpful if you explained to guests who aren’t familiar what the dance is all about. Another way to explain it is give your DJ a few short lines to say before it begins. Something like “and now we will be beginning the ____ dance, which is a Greek wedding ritual and a tradition in Bob’s family” and then explain what will happen.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Ok– your poll confused me– I wasn’t exactly sure what question you are asking, and how it’s phrased the answer could be either one…
But, I’d say you can do the dance, but include a note in your program or something explaining the tradition for those guests who might not be familiar with it. Customs are just that– if you want to do it, you should– and just include an explination for the guests who might not be familiar with them.
Post # 6
Normally I believe this type of event is tacky (for lack of a better word). BUT when traditions exist I don’t always agree with my beliefs. If your fiance’s entire family is expecting it, then I don’t see a problem with it. Your side doesn’t have to participate if they don’t want to.
Post # 7
NOT tacky if it is cultural or common in your demographic area. Tacky if you are doing it just cause you want some cash.
Post # 8
I second MsJ2theZ. our families are Catholic and we are doing the dollar dance. It’s a family tradition. oh and i won’t be noting it in the program. all of our guests know what it is so i’m sure nobody will refer to it as tacky.
Post # 9
My husband is Macedonian and he and his family wanted to do that and I absolutely REFUSED!
We did the pig dance they have a cooked pig on a platter and the wedding party goes around the reception and the guests throw money on the platter for the bride and groom. I thought that was money grabbing enough so I would not have a money dance. But I think that if it is a cultural thing and you are not doing anything else for money (not counting gifts) I think you would be alright IF it was something you wanted to do.
Post # 11
If a lot or a majority of your guests are Greek and expect this dance, then no, it’s not tacky. It’s expected! I think those that are not familiar with this tradition, like me, would understand when we see all those family members getting up and getting into it.
However, if his family members total up a small percentage of the guests (10%, for example) and the rest are not familiar with money dances, then I personally would be hesitant about it too. In this case, I would definitely make a mention of it somehow, like an announcement from the DJ or a blurb in the program, just to give the non-Greeks some background information.
FWIW, we went to a wedding where the groom was Greek but the bride was not. They did not do a money pinning dance. However, I’m not sure why they didn’t.
Post # 12
I don’t think its tacky! Its pretty common where we live, and I don’t think its an “organized” dance either. People just start sticking money wherever they can once the bride and groom start dancing!
Post # 13
I say don’t do the money dance. It is a filipino cultural thing too.I chose not to do it. Unless more than 60% of the people attending know the tradition and will participate don’t do it. I watched a mortified bride stand by herself in the middle of the dance floor with two dollars pinned to her. Ackward…
Post # 14
I think its a great way to honor his culture. Go for it.
Post # 15
Dollar Dance! Go for it! Lol
Post # 16
That could be a great cultural thing to include, but I would make sure the groom or DJ explains it to everyone so your family doesn’t feel totaly left out and turned off.