Post # 1
My fiance and I are struggling between what will be said before dinner. I am not religious at all and neither is really but he but he was raised in a very religious household and all of his family is very religious. I am against having a prayer before the meal because it is not something we do in my family or as a couple. It is something that his side of the family does. He is struggling a bit because he wants to please his extended family, I believe. We will have a variety of religions and non-religious at our wedding. Is there any advice on what can be said beforehand? Does anyone have a good ambiguous reading that could work here? Thanks for your help!
Post # 2
kneeslegel : instead of a prayer, you could have a moment of reflection/gratitude.
Post # 3
kneeslegel : You can use many of the traditional “graces” but leave out the religious references
Those guests who so choose can close their eyes and add their amens.
Post # 4
A quick Google search of secular wedding meal blessings produced this:
Post # 6
I found this site for another wedding where this situation was presented. They didn’t end up using any of these specific examples, but created their own that was very similar.
Post # 7
Ha! Sorry I hadn’t refreshed the page. Great minds…
Post # 8
Here are a few:
“May this sharing of food foster peace and understanding among us. May it bring us to the recognition that we depend on each other for all the good we can ever hope to receive, and that all the good we can hope to accomplish rests in helping others in turn.”
“We receive this food in gratitude to all beings who helped or sacrificed to bring it to our table,
and vow to respond in turn to those in need with wisdom and compassion.”
“As we go through life, the most important thing we can collect is good memories. Thank you all for being here today to share this meal as a treasured part of that collection. “
“As we come together at this special time, let us pause a moment to appreciate the opportunity for good company and to thank all those past and present whose efforts have made this event possible. We reap the fruits of our society, our Country, and our civilization, and take joy in the bounties of Nature on this happy occasion. Let us also wish that, some day, all people on Earth may enjoy the same good fortune that we share.”
“We are grateful for the food before us, the friends beside us, the love among us.”
To any of these you can add “Please take a moment in silent reflection and joy.”
Post # 10
I have a similar dilemma, and have decided to have my father do a welcome (nothing religious mentioned), and invite my Future Father-In-Law do a blessing of the food.
I know it goes against my beliefs, and we also will have a wide range of religions/non religions at our wedding. But my fiance’s family does say grace before each meal, so I just feel like it would be appropriate, and I feel like his father would really appreciate it. I also don’t think it really affects me that much. Like I’m just going to stand there smiling like I’ve been doing all day, it’s not like I have to swear my allegiance to a god. I’m just smiling and nodding.
What DOES affect me is our ceremony. That will have NO mention of religion anywhere in it. But if my Future Father-In-Law wants to do a food blessing thing, whatever.
And he actually isn’t expecting this at all, I just wanted to find a way to include all of our family members, so I thought I would invite him to do it.
Post # 11
I really like the secular blessings above though!!!! Great find, ladies! Love them.