Post # 1
Okay every married person I know tells Fiance and I not to go to every table. I keep hearing the same story. We went to every table talked to all 100 people individually and would get pulled away for cake cutting, dances etc and then by the time you get to actually dance or whatever its time to go home.
as a guest at the latest weddings you have been to what did the bride and groom do? did they go around table to table or did they just make a speech thanking everyone? Married bees what did you do?
Etiquette wise is it rude not to talk to each guest individually? Now Im not saying we arent going to talk to anyone and we are trying to avoid our guests LOL just wondering bees takes on this!!
Post # 3
@organizedbride11: We were able to visit each table during dinner.
We had a buffet but we were served. So we ate while everyone went to the buffet, and then briefly went from table to table while people were eating.
We had about 90 guests. We still had plenty of time for dancing, etc.
Post # 4
I think it is rude not to talk to every guest. I’ve been disappointed before when I’ve gone to weddings and never once talked to the bride and groom.
It was hard for Darling Husband and I to eat dinner (too nervous/excited) so we went around during dinner and talked to every table individually. I got a lot of compliments later on it and people told my mom I was a “gracious host”. I wasn’t really talking to every person, more like talking to each table for a couple of minutes. It was a nice way to make sure my guests were enjoying themselves.
Post # 5
Yes and we didn’t miss any special events whatsoever. Dinner was a full hour which was long enough to talk to everyone.
Post # 6
We’re going table to table. I know it’s going to take up a ridiculous amount of time (believe me, we are having like 200 people), but the B&G have done this at every wedding I’ve gone to and I just think it’s the right thing to do. Most guests are traveling to come to our wedding (and many will most likely give a gift)… I just feel like the least we can do is stop by and say hello to them.
Post # 7
@KatNYC2011: hmm something to think about! We wouldnt be able to do it during dinner though. I think I am struggling because our timeline is weird. We have many dances because I have a dad and a stepdad to do father daughter dances with Fiance has the same thing with his mom and stepmom our first dance etc so we were going to do all of that when the guests are eating so they are not board out of their minds!! LOL
Post # 8
One of us said hi to every guest (100). I think I somehow missed 2-3 people but Darling Husband definitely talked to them. We were at cocktail hour for 20 minutes or so and went around the tables. Unless the wedding is ginormous (300+ people) I expect the bride or groom to say hello to me.
I had plenty of time to dance.
Post # 9
@organizedbride11: I went to a wedding 2 weeks ago and the bride and groom never greeted anyone, other than their immediate families. I was really put off by it actually. They had a buffet so they ate first, and then they sat at the head table and talked to their bridal party, took pictures, and at one point I saw the bride chatting on her cell phone.
Normally it wouldnt have bothered me as much but we traveled 2 hours in a snowstorm to be at their wedding. We stayed at a hotel for the night (which lost power because of the storm) and spent about $500 of travel, gifts, etc. They had 200 guests there.
Post # 10
we tried to make it to every table – i scarfed down some dinner and then we got up and walked around while everyone else was eating…i think we made it a little more than halfway around the room before we got pulled away for cake cutting and i felt HORRIBLE for not making it to everyone’s table….We also opted to give a thank you speech before sitting down for dinner
Post # 11
I would try to make it to each table, it really is the polite thing to do. As far as all of your dances is there any way to combine them. That is a really long time to sit and watch, maybe have the step parents cut in or have you dancing at the same time as your husband and his moms.
ETA: We made it to each table. We started going around after we were announced in and guests were in their seats waiting for dinner to be served. We then went and ate and finished the tables when we were doine. We did a thank you speech too, but speaking to your guests is much more personal. You wouldn’t send a mass thank you note, so a mass thank you speech wouldn’t really count.
Post # 12
We had plenty of time for everything. We ate dinner, then cut the cake. Then we walked around from table to table. There were about 150 guests. Some wanted to talk a while, others just said congrats. After we had been to every table, we started dancing. We also had a lot of time to visit with friends while taking breaks from dancing.
Post # 13
Yes, we did visit every single table – I think it would of been extremely rude to not do so. I cannot imagine not putting aside some time to talk to the guests. It did delay our dances a bit, but that wasn’t a big deal, I can’t imagine not going around to at least say hello and thank you to everyone who took the time to come celebrate your day and most likely gave youa gift as well. You just need to be firm, and when a convo runs a little long say, “I’m sorry, we’re going to have to finish this talk later, I need to go finish saying hello to everyone so we can go cut the cake/do speeches/whatever.”
If you don’t think you’ll have time during the reception as it’s planned, I would either have a receiving line or cut down on your dances a bit – maybe split a song, half of the song for dad/mom, the other half of the song for step-dad/step-mom, and do it after dinner so you can follow Kt’s advice about eating first then talking to them during dinner. But imagine how you would feel if you attended a wedding and the bride and groom never even spoke to you.
EDIT (just saw your post right under this): We did talk to the whole table though, most tables people knew everyone, that definitely made it easier.
Post # 14
@PinkMagnolia: hmm I had never considered that. We can talk to the table all at once vs. talking to each seperate person.
@LGenz: Yes I have never been to a wedding that the B and G didnt go around except for one. That is why I was so surprised that everyone is telling me to skip it. It seems rude!
Post # 15
I am worried about this because we will have a lot of guests (160-220) and there will be a lot going on during our reception. We’re going to try, but I’m afraid that even if we make it to every table we won’t catch everyone. We will have a lot of out-of-town people and I don’t want anyone to feel like Bostongrl25 did after all that travel and cost. We are considering having a get-together the night before, so we can greet out-of-town people and not feel as much pressure to see everyone at the reception, but I don’t know if that’s a valid solution (or how many people could fly out a day early).
I went to a wedding recently where the couple didn’t talk to us. There were maybe 150 people there, and they did start going table to table but they ran out of time before they got to us. We drove 6 hrs each way to get there, so it would have been nice to talk to them, but we could tell that they’d made an effort to greet everyone so it was no big deal to us. That’s just me though- I wasn’t offended, but FI’s great aunt who is flying out from Oregon might be.
Post # 16
@MissBananaBread: If I had seen the bride and groom going to tables, I wouldnt have been as upset. It was more the fact that they didnt even make the effort to thank anyone. That is what bothered me the most.
What about a brunch the day after? We traveled the day of the wedding, but we attended a brunch the next day with the grooms parents. The bride and groom werent there, but maybe thats an option for you and your out of town guests?