(Closed) Greeting guests at the wedding….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I like your “weddings are becoming too much about “etiquette” than the real reason why you are there, to CELEBRATE” statement.  We had an informal receiving line, even though I dislike them, then walked around the tables when everyone was pretty much finished eating, but before dancing.  There were a few people we missed, I think mostly everyone enjoyed themselves, and that is what matters, right?  

Post # 4
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We are not doing a full receiving line but are going to stand near the door as people exit the ceremony and give quick hugs (just Fiance and I, no other people). It should go pretty quickly and also will help direct them to the next location.

I think it is very important to be sure to have at least a few words with every guest. I also agree with you that enjoying your reception is important. Presumably we like most of the people there, so I think the two are compatible – I’m going to enjoy saying hi to everyone and sharing the excitement with them!

Post # 5
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

For the most part, i agree, but here is the statement that just doesn’t sit right with me:

 If a guest of my wedding is offended and think this is rude, well I frankly dont really care. Anyone that is a guest at my wedding should understand that we payed a good chunk of cash for each and every person to be there. They shouldnt be offended but instead happy and thankful we wanted to share that day with them.


Like it or not, your day is not only about you. It is very much about the guests. While you will be the center of attention (as you should be), you and your groom are also the host and hostess of the party (regardless of who pays), and as such, you are expected to look out for the happiness, comfort and enjoyment of your guests.  The attitude that “if they don’t like it, I don’t care” is not the right one to take on your wedding day. Learn to be a gracious hostess and factor in your guests’ enjoyment of the day.

So I would look for a balance in there somewhere, keeping in mind that you are going to be far busier that day than you imagine. You WILL be pulled in 20 different directions at once, and you’re a little misguided if you expect that you’ll be able to spend the entire evening dancing.  I would plan a set time for dancing, outside of any traditional dances you will do, and have someone in charge of getting my butt onto the dance floor at the set time. Block out maybe 30-45 minutes for that; you’ll be ready for a drink and some relaxation after dancing for that long anyway.  And set aside an equal time to spend mingling and greeting your guests.

You may also consider cutting your bridal photos short or doing some photos before the ceremony so you can spend more time actually at your cocktail hour.

But don’t ever lose sight of the facts that it is the guests— the people you love— who will be so much more meaningful to your day than any venue, DJ or cake can ever be. Show them the respect they deserve.

 

Post # 6
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We had nearly 200 people and were able to make it to each and every table, albeit briefly.  I had time to eat my whole meal- though we did ask that they serve us first so we could scarf it down and then start to make the rounds while others were eating.  We had time to dance a bit, and mingle after we did our “official” rounds.  Sure, we missed a few people due to the bar or the bathroom, but we did our duty and greeted every table.  I don’t feel like it took away from our celebration at all- some of these people drove hours or flew in for the weekend, it’s kind of the least we could do to provide a nice meal, some tasty adult beverages, and greet them in person to thank them for coming.

Post # 8
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@fishbone:  +1

A lot of our guests are people we never get to see, especially some family members of Fi’s that I haven’t had a chance to meet. We definitely want to spend a little bit of time with everyone. 

Post # 9
Member
5959 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

You know, I get that etiquette can get WAY outta hand sometimes…and I guess that some of the newer generations just aren’t as concerned with it because we have other priorities…my grandmother, who was fabulous in every way, used to say, “Ceremonies are for the bride and groom, receptions are for the guests.”  And you have most likely put a lot of care and concentration as well as hard earned capital into making the reception a wonderful place to be, and most of your guests will appreciate that and be fine…if it were me, I would make it a point to thank every person I bumped into, since receiving lines are the stuff of awkward nightmares, and make a point to single out the older generation attendees who might get a little torked if you don’t follow the old ways about greeting every guest…make it case sensitive and succeed!

Post # 10
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

It is definitely tricky to find the right balance of enjoying the moment with your new husband/wife, visiting with all your guests and enjoying the party/dancing.  But I am going to try to do it all….with like 400 guests.

Post # 11
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have been to weddings where the bride and groom didn’t greet guest and I was fine with it. With that being said, I wouldn’t feel right in not greeting all of my guest.  Yes it’s going to take some time, but we plan on greeting each table, half before the main course, and the rest later. I think it’s a balencing act and there are always going to be people who are offended just for the sake of it, that being said I think it’s so important to remeber being thankful and grateful for your guest who are also spending a lot of time, money, and effort on your wedding which could have just as easily been spent elsewhere.

Post # 13
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re going to take photos for just 30 minutes after the ceremony, and then attend our cocktail hour for its remaining 45 minutes. Hopefully that will give us a chance to mingle with most of the guests!

We’re also having a dollar dance to get a chance to talk one-on-one with more guests, but I know that’s a touchy topic around here 🙂

Post # 14
Member
12974 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EricaRenea:  If a guest of my wedding is offended and think this is rude, well I frankly dont really care.

Well, as someone who does care about etiquette and would find this pretty rude, I was going to comment. But apparently, you won’t care.

FWIW, one of my cousins did this at his wedidng, and my family is still talking about how distasteful it was, six months later.

Post # 15
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We only had 13 tables, and we tried to hit everyone during dinner, but it didn’t work. People wanted to pull me aside for long conversations, the photographer wanted sunset photos, people had left their tables and were on the dance floor/outside, etc.

We did greet the family tables, and those with older guests. Darling Husband and I also split some tables, so one of us spoke to every guest there. And we got on the mic and gave a nice thank you to our guests after the toasts, which I think was a good compromise (recognizing that we knew it was tough for people since it was a Friday night wedding, thanking those from out of town, etc.)

If you make an effort, your guests will appreciate it, and none will fault you. 

Post # 16
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I ony had about 80 guest but I went to every table socialized and hugged all my relatives.

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