Greeting your guests… did you get through everyone?

posted 5 days ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2020

We had about 80 people. I went around to the tables and said hi. But I did get pulled away for other things, but did get to say hi to everyone before we really started the dancing because after that I was on the dance floor. I would make a point to get to the VIP tables first or to the ones who you think will be upset if you don’t say hi. Then go have fun. Make sure the DJ has a schedule for you to keep you on track with cake cutting and parent dances and anything else you are doing. But don’t stress have fun and enjoy your day.

Post # 17
Member
3020 posts
Sugar bee

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@adieu1757:  My biggest regret from my wedding is that I didn’t talk to each person and spend time doing table visits. DH disappeared for a while, spending time with his friends outside, and I sat at a table and talked to his former roommate. I deeply regret not taking that time to instead go around to each r sme. There was time for it, and I had 100 guests. If I could go back, I would do table visits. People traveled to see me, and they deserved more. 

Post # 18
Member
4817 posts
Honey bee

Well, a receiving line or table visits are THE EASIEST WAY to ensure that you are getting to everyone.  If you don’t want to spend your evening stressing about whether you’ve managed to give a little bit of time to all the people who took time out of their life to share the occasion, then it’s probably just best to just go with one of those.  Then you are sure you got everyone at least once and can mingle freely later without worrying that you need to cut off Aunt Sally’s 10 minute story to make sure you catch other people you haven’t spoken to yet.  If you don’t either of those, then I would probably hire a day of coordinator who can help you keep on track and make sure you don’t get too bogged down in any one activity that you can’t properly mingle and make sure you’re getting to everyone.

Table visits – you have a captive audience because people love eating and drinking and you know they aren’t going anywhere except maybe a quick bathroom trip so you can easily keep track.

Receiving Lines – they are stupid simple and fast and honestly not that awkward.  If you’re indoors, there’s usually only one way to exit anyway and everyone already sort of naturally lines up and even if you’re outdoors people tend to just naturally gravitate towards filing out of their seats and heading in the same direction.  Just stand by that exit point (or if easier the entrance point to cocktail hour) and greet them as they file on over to cocktail hour.  The only ones that maybe get kind of awkward are the ones where they line up the whole wedding party as well.  No offense to them, but nobody shows up to see your sister or college roommate walk down a aisle in a dress you swear they can wear again…but they can’t. You never can. 

It’s like 30-45 seconds with each person/couple.

“You both look so beautiful and happy”

“Oh, thank you so much for driving all the way out here to join us today.  We’re so happy you made it!”

“Cousin Myrtle wishes she could have joined us but she had to work and sends her love”

“That’s too bad.  Be sure to send her our love.  I look forward to catching up with you a bit later after dinner.”

*hugs* *handshakes*

*next*

There’s not a lot of lingering when you’re standing between people and the food and booze.  

 ETA:  I will say that I have had friends do the “casual mingle” route because they didn’t want to do a receiving line or table visits and didn’t get to everyone and later mentioned they regretted it.  Granted, they had a much larger wedding (200-250) and I know I heard some guests at the end of the night back at the hotel feel a bit put off by the fact that neither bride nor groom spoke to them even just to say hi.  They were just so busy and overwhelmed and there was a huge snafu with the catering they ended up dealing with that it didn’t work out the way they thought it would.  Now 80 is definitely a much more do-able number for that sort of thing.  But don’t discount the fact that you could find yourself pulled away by things (even nice things like photos or mingling with some guests for a longer period of time) and not get to mingle in the way you hoped.

Post # 19
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

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@skuzzlebutt:  I just feel like, if I’m attending a wedding, that means that either the bride or the groom, or both, is someone that I love and care about. I don’t want my loved ones to feel like they have a “responsibility” to greet me on their wedding day! I want them to focus on enjoying their day and celebrating the start of their marriage. If they’re able to make time to talk to me, that’s great! But if they get caught up the chaos of the day and don’t get a chance to greet me, it’s really not a problem. I’m able to understand that it’s not a personal slight, wedding are busy and it just happens sometimes. And I want them to feel happy on their day, not stressed out that they might have “missed” me. 

I think brides put so much pressure on themselves to be socially “perfect” on their wedding days, and our society in general adds to that pressure. But there’s no need for it! Just do your best to greet everyone. If you miss some people, it’s okay. Don’t stress over it. Reasonable people should understand that it happens sometimes and there’s need to be offended.

Post # 20
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee

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@bluejellyfish:  Yeah, still not seeing how that makes someone “snobby”, but you do you I guess. 

Post # 21
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

Honestly I’m not sure why you feel table visits are formal? We didn’t even plan it, we just finished our food and thought, hey this is a nice moment to say hi to people. You don’t have to go up and be all, “Excuse me everyone, we are just so delighted you could be here on this day of days”, you can just go to the table like you would if you were going up to a group of people at a party, “Hey guys!! How’s it going??” I mean, everyone by the time we went around was pleasantly tipsy and cheering when we came over, it was very silly and easy. Didn’t feel at all stiff like a recieving line. Honestly it was really nice! 

That being said, you’ll probably see everyone regardless, but you can also once again just be conscientious of it. If you haven’t spoken to Aunt May yet, just excuse yourself from a conversation when you see her pass by to give her a hug. That kind of thing 🙂 .

Post # 22
Member
6642 posts
Bee Keeper

We didn’t do a receiving line but we went to each table.  It was a bit chaotic but our wedding was like 80 people so we were able to do it this way.  

Post # 23
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

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@adieu1757:  I did a receiving line and took pics with every guest, mailed them with thank you cards and after we ate we went from table to table thanking everyone for coming. Other than my own wedding(I’m in US) I’ve never been to a wedding with a receiving line.

Post # 24
Member
4786 posts
Honey bee

We had about 95 people and did table visits. Like Clairelune, it was not planned but it was an easy, casual way to make sure we spent a few minutes with everybody. 

Post # 25
Member
6642 posts
Bee Keeper

I also want to post if you do the table to table have the photographer come and do photos.  We didn’t and I wish we had for this.  I’m not sure what we thought.  But definitely you are going to want more guest photos than you think.  

Post # 26
Member
13924 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@sweatergal007:   Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t appreciate how much they will likely come to value those guest photos in years to come. The trend to photojournalistic style is great and all, but not at the expense of guest pictures. We insisted on table pictures and also did some candid shots during cocktail hour. 

Post # 27
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My wedding was about the same size as yours and we did table vists with the photographer and I am glad I did, as though I still made an effort to talk to different guests more casually it made sure we had photos with everyone.

Also yes I talked to people directly after the ceremony, on the dance floor and other areas the reception goes faster than you expect.

Post # 28
Member
6642 posts
Bee Keeper

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@weddingmaven:  I really wish we insisted on that.  We paid for a pretty long package time too. I don’t know why I didn’t add them to my shots list.  I tell everyone now because it still bothers me to this day.  I have every angle of my face but one guest I only have the back of their head! Ugh. 

Post # 29
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

I think table visits are the best way to accomplish visiting with everyone. We had about 60 guests, and it did not feel burdensome at all to stop it every table. I hadn’t met some of my husband’s guests, so it was a nice opportunity to do so, and vice versa for my husband. The wedding day is pretty hectic, and it’s difficult to make sure you visit with everyone without some sort of plan, even if it’s casual table visits.

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