(Closed) Grieving – did I treat my dog badly?

posted 6 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsCreeToBe:  If she was scared of you, she would probably cower from you and growl/bark at you, not follow you around and snuggle you.  Yelling at her and smacking her on the butt is part of discipline.  Unless you’re saying you did it really hard, but a small pat on the butt when she’s pooped where she shouldn’t probably isn’t bad.  I’m sure you gave her a WONDERFUL life.  Just take this as a life lesson to treat the people you love as best as you can.  I’m sorry you lost your pet.  I’m sure she’s in a better place. 

Post # 4
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so so sorry for your loss. No one can be a perfect parent, don’t stress out over it. I think your love shows even in your words and I’m sure your little dog thought the world of you. Please don’t beat yourself up over it – your little one passed over to doggy heaven in your arms and at peace. Sending hugs your way!

Post # 5
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She is just like any other family member: there were times that you weren’t perfect, but she loved you and knew that you loved her back. I’m sorry for your loss 🙁

Post # 6
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I’m so sorry for your loss!!  I agree with PPs, if she was afraid of you, she wouldn’t come near you.  I’m not the most perfect pet parent, but my little guy sleeps under the covers with me and doesn’t let me have my own space on the couch, so I know he loves me!

Post # 8
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry that your dog died.  You did the best thing for her by putting her down and ending her suffering.

No one is ever a perfect person or a perfect parent, be that human parent or pet parent.  We all have flaws, weaknesses and moments that don’t shine.  And so do our pets…like when they tear up the garbage bag (in your case) or whine endlessly for dripping tap water (like my cats).  Love means that you forgive their flaws and they forgive yours.  

Your dog loved you because she wagged her tail in greeting and enjoyed your company cuddling on the couch or alongside you while you did other things.  A dog that is mistreated wouldn’t do those things, they would avoid their owner.

Try to remember all the wonderful moments you share together, and forgive yourself for not being perfect.  

Post # 9
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry for your loss! It is very clear how much you loved her. She knew it too. We don’t need to be perfect for our dogs to love us and know how much we love them. 

I went through the same feelings when my 17 year old cat died. It was the grief. It does get better.

My heart goes out to you.

Post # 10
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsCreeToBe:  She knew your scent and felt your comfort as she passed. I am sure of it. I am sorry for your loss.

Post # 13
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Awww, no one is ever the perfect pet parent! We all have days where we don’t take them on walks like we should or don’t give them as much attention as they deserve. You cared for her for 15 years and gave her a happy home and love, so for that you were a WONDERFUL pet parent. And staying with her until the very end? That right there is the most amazing, if heartbreaking, thing you could have done. She left this world safely in your arms and surrounded by love and that’s all anyone could ever hope for.

Post # 14
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Ok, that’s just about enough of that nonsense.  The fact that you even worry enough about it to post it here tells me everything I need to know.

As people and dog owners, they give us love and devotion we will never really earn, but that we try is what matters.

You did your very best, and it was perfect.

Now dry your eyes, get out of the house and go do some Christmas shopping, treat yourself to a facial and watch The Polar Express tonight with some comfort food.  The time for sadness is over, find your Christmas spirit and look forward, there are better days ahead of you now.

Post # 15
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Goodness, you are the opposite of ABUSIVE… you are an awesome pet owner who is a human being and sometimes gets irritated.


I’m so sorry for your loss, but you are definitely being unnecessarily hard on yourself. You loved your dog and were there for her when she needed you. You did not starve her, intentionally harm her, or act cruelly towards her. You did just fine.

Post # 16
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you did as any other pet owner would have. Discipline is part of that, and it doesnt sound like anything you did was hurtful to her. If it was she would not be wagging her tail at the door when you came home. 

You did the right thing putting her down. And 15 years is a GREAT long life for a dog. 

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