(Closed) grieving wedding and angry that people don’t understand…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I understand what you mean. I think its hard because sometimes I wish I could go back and just re-plan the entire wedding. Different dress, different hair, different colors, etc. But I cant. I dont think like this every day but occasionally – especially when I see peoples gorgeous wedding photos – those feelings will come back a little bit. However I remind myself that I loved our wedding and I love our marriage even more. I think its hard because we got married at the end of the summer so then we are in winter for so long and it can be a bit of a downer. Try to plan something to look forward to so that you can get excited and be busy! We have 6 weddings to go to this year and Im already getting excited for those because they will be our first weddings as a married couple!

Post # 4
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m not married yet nor will I be for over a year, but I’ve sat down and thought to myself “oh man, I’m so going to miss this once it’s over.”  So, I’m probably going to intrude in other’s lives so I can plan theirs.  I’ve always desired to be a wedding planner, but never wanted to deal with the bridezillas.

Post # 5
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this.

 

Is it just the fact that the wedding is over? Or did something not go as planned?

Post # 6
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m always online looking at wedding stuff.  We haven’t got married yet…. but my fiance says “what are you going to do once we get married”.  When I think about it…. I guess I will have to move on to other things.   I hope you have some peace to the way you are feeling. 

Post # 7
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m so nervous about this! My wedding isn’t until November, but I’m already nervous about what I’m going to do after. You put so much devotion and effort into it, and it really becomes part of your everyday schedule. FH jokes around that I’m going to need a SERIOUS hobby! The good thing for me is that we will pretty much go straight into looking for a house after the wedding. Then it will be the problem of what to do after the house. Babies? haha jk- we are waiting a few years! But really, I LOVE planning my wedding, even when I am totally stressed and pushed to the brink of insanity, I get a call from my florist that we will be able to have black magic rose centerpieces and it brings me back into wedding planning bliss 🙂

Post # 8
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am sure that I will feel the same way. Even Fiance asked me what am I going to do when I don’t have a wedding to plan… I think he knows that I will take it hard also.

Post # 9
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I know you don’t want advice, but maybe find something else to nuture and look forward to.  I am someone that always needs something to… grow.

Is there more that you want?  Can you plan other parties?  Did it not live up to your expectations?  Do you want to renew your vows every year?

I can understand these feelings because a lot of pressure/ expectation etc. is put upon weddings.  Maybe you need a new “dream” as they say.   

Post # 10
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Do something constructive, take your mind off of this!  When the stress of planning my big day gets to me I leave the SO with a cold beer, football on TV and head out to see my bees.  I keep bees.  It’s things like this that help keep your mind settled in trying, difficult times.  I love nothing more than seeing the little smiles on all my bees faces as I come and visit them!  It’s good to have something that lasts before during and after the big day, so you can try transpose the feeling of the most amazing day of your life into an everlasting pursuit. 

All I’ll ever need to relive my big day in the future is to take off the white dress and put on the white suit and see my bees.  < ()()():) BZzzzzzz!!

All the best and bee well! x

 

 

Post # 11
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Getting pregnant will help! J/k. I hope you feel better soon. Do whatever you need to do to nurture yourself; maybe even pick up a little hobby– something you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to. Maybe redecorate a room? Anyway, talk as much as you need to. The bees will always listen.

Post # 13
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m in the same boat. Part of that, though, is probably because I didn’t have much say in everything. I didn’t get to plan my reception (MIL wouldn’t let me), I couldn’t get the veil I wanted, things went wrong, people were rude and insensitive… I feel like if I could plan it all over it would actually represent my husband and I, and feel like my own. Of course after the wedding my husband gets a decent paying job.

We’re going to have a VR on our five year anniversary, so I can plan it how I want, and we can do everything how we evisioned it. So it’ll be about us and not what our families wanted. So there will only be a few very close people that we really care about and really care about us, instead of everyone in our family and acquaintances. It’s far away, but it does give me something to look forward too, and whenever I find a good idea here, I just jot it in a little notebook! It really helps cut the depression.

Post # 14
Member
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally understand the feeling, just when I start to feel down that I won’t get to do it again (I loved everything, but I have moments when i just want to change my hair style, or wear darker lipstick or wear 3 different dresses) I go look at pictures and I remember how happy I was and that feeling just fills me up inside. It’s like I get a little wedding hit and I’m happy again. I loved making a 2nd wedding album that had the rehersal, dinner and honeymoon on AdoramaPix.

I also get to relive the wedding DIY because I still have to make the Wedding Guest ‘book’ Quilt. Maybe you can hand embroider something to make a keepsake.

As a side note–make sure you are getting you depression treated. This could just be a symptom of a long slide.  

Post # 15
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s normal to miss your wedding. It’s one day that you anticipate and plan and dream about for so long, but at the end of the day it really is only one day. The real exciting part starts after the wedding when you begin your life as a newlywed. What helped me was planning a big trip with Darling Husband. We want to travel a lot before we start having kids and now that we don’t need to save for the wedding it’s the perfect time for that! I know it’s not easy, but time will help. Hang in there and enjoy the newlywed life!

Post # 16
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think people are probably thinking “Well… weren’t you looking forward to the marriage as well?”

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