(Closed) Groom attending bridal shower? MIL inviting random people?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If you’re Future Mother-In-Law is throwing the shower and wanting to invite all these people, that’s on her. Just make it clear to her that these people will not be invited to the wedding. She will be the one to come across as rude fo rinviting them to a shower, knowing they won’t be guests at a wedding. You don’t know these people, how can they expect you to invite them to the wedding?

I’d say leave your Fiance at home and try to get to know the people. I know it’s awkward but you’re an adult, you can mingle with strangers for  a couple hours. If you really don’t want to then I’d say do what makes you happy. There’s no rule saying he cant be there.

My Fiance is bringing me to my shower (since all my friends, family will already be there setting up and he doesn’t want me ‘driving to my own shower’). He’ll say hello to everyone then he’s going fishing for a few hours and will be back at the end with his brother to load all the stuff up.

Post # 17
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
sarahshara:  Yep, we invited them to the wedding too. His parents said we had to now that they were invited to the shower… which is funny since they weren’t on the guest list we sent his aunt. Just his parents adding in people. 

Funny thing is Future Mother-In-Law was saying how they want to be at the wedding and are so excited already so we have no choice but to invite them…. Now here we are, 23 days before the wedding, and they haven’t returned their RSVPs and we heard from Future Mother-In-Law this morning NONE of them will be at the wedding. I guess it worked out since they aren’t going to be at the wedding and we got some nice gifts from them anyway.

Post # 18
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

If your Fiance is comfortable going, I’d say yes and if not, ask him to be there at the end to help with gifts. Have you explained to your Mother-In-Law that the “rule” is that people invited to a shower should be invited to the wedding? I say “rule” because until I was on here I had no idea that was a thing. I have two thoughts on it. 

1) She could phrase it as a congrats party for the couple (in this case your Fiance should definitely be there) and this way no one expects a wedding invite.

2) Just let her deal with the whole thing. They don’t know you so if they don’t recieve and invite she will deal with it and not you. Just tell her now you have a set guest list already and don’t have any intention/funds to invite other people. So she realizes she will have to deal with any hurt feelings. 

Good luck!

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