(Closed) Groom does not seem interested in the wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Most men are like that 🙂

If you want to try to involve him more, ask him to chose two things that he cares about and put him in charge of those– my Fiance is in charge of alcohol and dressing the groomsmen. I’m leaving those totally up to him (he’ll consult me of course, and let me know what he decides, but he is supposed to research options and make the final decisions). He’s voiced a few other minor opinions, but is really uninvolved.

It also helps if you give him options. So I’d really like him to help decide our first dance song, for example, but if I ask him what songs he likes, he says he doesn’t know. BUT if I give him a list of songs, he can go through and say which ones he likes, which he doesn’t. 

Hope that helps! I wouldn’t worry about it too much. 

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think its part interest and part cultural….we have this big built up idea that women are controlling bridezillas and since its the most important day of her life, she should dictate everything, leaving no say for the male.

If you need help with something, don’t be afraid to get an answer from him. If you have some DIY projects or something where he has some hobby ( computers, sawing, stacking, cutting etc) perhaps thats a way you could get involved. Or take him food tasting at a venue or however you are doing your wedding in regards to food 🙂

Post # 5
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My SO is like that with pretty much everything, and he often alludes to the fact that I’ll be planning everything for the wedding. Sometimes it’s frustrating because it can feel like he’s disinterested, but in the end I know it’s just because he wants me to be happy, so he’s totally fine to leave decisions up to me.

I like Miss Great Dane’s suggestion to provide options that your Fiance can choose from, because likely you’ve thought about the details more than he has. The most important detail for him is being with you 🙂

Sidenote: on the flipside, at least he doesn’t insist on choosing everything and argue your ideas/decisions!

Post # 6
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

That is pretty standard groom behavior. I would narrow things down to 3 options and then give Mr. LK a choice between those. I made it very clear that I really wanted his thoughts because it was his wedding too. Some things, like invitations, he surprised me on, and I had to go back to the drawing board. But most of the time this worked for us.

Post # 7
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with the other ladies…  I have to ask my Fiance if I want any responce.  He does tell me if he does or does not like something…  but thats about it. He has said that he likes that I am lanning everything and if it was him planning he wouldn’t know what to do and would procrastinate and the dinner would be at Pondarosa.  So I am glad he is not planning it…  

I like the suggestion of giving him options…  

Post # 8
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance: “It’s your wedding.” 

Me: “No, it’s our wedding.”

Fiance: “You’re the bride.  You have all the say.  It’s your wedding.”

Me: “Noooo…”

Fiance: -laughs- “yes, I support you 100%.”

 

The end.

Post # 9
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Count your blessings. Mine is too interested in the wedding process and its making planning 600x more difficult.

Post # 10
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

When we were talking with SO’s mom about his brother’s upcoming wedding and how his brother had been going to look at venues with his Fiance my SO said “why is he going?  Isn’t his job just to show up?”

Post # 11
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Right when I read this posts’ title I laughed- no hurt feelings- but just that its such a typical thing for women to feel this way. Dont deny that you are feeling like he is a little less enthussed than you would prefer. My Mr. is the same way so i started to give him “fun” jobs. like he got to pick out our honeymoon, he picks the ride we leave in…and so on. This made him super excited to plan little tid-bits of the day. You have to remember, wedding bells have probably been ringing in your ear before your guy asked the question…and when he did the levy broke! You are going to know the details of the day down to the textures! Dont expect that from him and dont make him feel bad for not being interested in what color of table lenens to use. Try to make the choices together but have fun… its not everyday you get to plan your wedding.

Post # 12
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Thought this was fitting

Post # 13
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Darling Husband wanted nothing to do with the wedding plans. He told me to have fun and do what I wanted. He didn’t even want to talk about it. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy our wedding and didn’t want to get married.

I think you’re overthinking this a bit. I wouldn’t worry about it. Typical guy.

Post # 14
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

ARGH! MEN!

At least they all appear to be the same. 

Mine does the same. Do what you want honey it’s you’re day. You’re the bride!

Ugh. I know he wants to get married but he doesn’t care about the details. 

I have to second the above- give him specific options and mine usually is able to pick his favorites. Or give an opinion in it. 

Post # 15
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I want my Fiance to be involved, and he is a to a point.  But, I think men who are too involved are super annoying.  When I was watching Kim Kardashian’s wedding special, Kris was overly involved in the whole process in my opinion.  I wanted to throw my remote at the TV and tell him to let Kim choose what she wanted.  And, well, we all know how that turned out… lol!

Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This is pretty normal. Don’t sweat it.

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