Post # 1
Im so sad right now I cant strop crying.
My Fiance is Polish lives here in the US legally.
We planned a small wedding with only our parents and siblings present, the guest total would have been about 15 – 18 guests.
A year and a half ago we let his family know about it, and some of his family have Travel Visas, some dont.
Well 2.5 months before the Wedding he tells me his mother got denied the travel Visa so she cant make it. And the ones that DO have the travel Visa, cant make it for May.
I dont know what to do, I have my dress, I booked a Photographer, an Officiant.
Techinically I can go on with the Wedding, but Im just so sad that only my family will be there and not his. It breaks my heart.
I do have a leg up cuz it was planned as a small intimate gathering, but now Im thinking if I knew all this would happen, Eloping wouldnt have been so bad.
I dont know what to do with no one on his side representing him.
Maybe we should just go to civial court by ourselves, but I have my sister flying in from out of town to attend this Wedding.
I need to make the best out of this situation and I dont know how.
Post # 3
I’m really sorry, it does really suck because you want it to be a joyous event for the both of you. Can you swing a trip to Poland after your nuptials? I would continue with the wedding, and then sometime within the next year, make plans to go visit his family in Poland. Set it up with them in advance so you ca make sure your husband can see the majority of his family, and you will get to meet them as well. Thats the best I can come up with other than saying, “That’s too bad,” which is a really unsatisfying answer. Sorry once again.
Post # 4
I would go to Poland later and have a small ceremony or celebration there. But I would continue on with your plans here in the US too.
Post # 5
I am sorry that sucks, could you maybe set up a webcam so she could at least watch the wedding and see you and her son. That way she could still be at the wedding even though it she isn’t physically there
Post # 6
I feel your pain. My fiance is from South Africa. We are having a larger (100 people) wedding in Texas and the only people from his side that are coming are his parents. I feel pretty bad about it because he and I are paying for it, but the majority (almost all) are my friends and family. It almost doesn’t feel right in a sense. That being said, I would NOT cancel your wedding. You do need to celebrate for yourselves. I would also recommend to try to plan a trip to Poland and plan a reception of some sorts. I don’t know how the exchange rate is for Poland, but hopefully it is more affordable and that way you can still celebrate with his family (as we are planning to do in December of this year).
This inter-continental wedding planning is hard, but at least you two found each other and I’m sure you can make it special for him in some way in the future.
Post # 7
I have friends who ended up with the same problem, so they got married twice–once with each family.
so… the first leg of your honeymoon can be to Poland for a reception and then you can do a whole Euro-honeymoon.
It can be done.
Sorry, though, that really blows.
Post # 8
When could his other family come? I suspect that your photographer and officiant would be willing to work with you to change the date if that would allow some of his family to be there. Otherwise, I agree that a trip for the two of you to Poland would be a good solution. My husband is English and, like several other posters mentioned, we ended up having separate receptions in the US and the UK so that his family could feel involved. My parents traveled to the UK for the reception there, and his parents came to the reception here, but otherwise they were totally different guest lists.
Post # 9
We had a slightly similar situation because of immigration issues. Luckily my husbands family is in a country that is visa free to travel here so that didn’t factor into things, but the timing definitely did. Because we started immigration with a fiance visa, we were constricted into a timeline that would satisfy the requirements from the US Government. Unfortunately that timeline wasn’t a workable one financially with my in-laws. We decided (in advance since we knew this was coming) to have a civil ceremony (which my parents and brothers family attended) to satisfy the immigration requirements, and then planned a wedding at a later date that would work for my in-laws to come here for.
I like farmgirl2106’s suggestion, but also another thought is to have a 2nd ceremony there for your fh’s family. Would something like that be feasible?
Post # 10
THANK YOU for the Advice ladies. I will definetly consider a trip to Poland.
We had planned on making a trip after we had children, but I like the idea of maybe going for Honeymoon. Its a lot of money but maybe we can go in about a year.
I also like the webcam idea, but instead of webcam Ill videotape it and send it to his mom.
Right now were coming up with a Plan B) and invite some of his close friends to fill up the empty family spots.
Its sorta last minute but I think 2 months is enough notice for them to say Yes.
Post # 11
Just remember although this doesn’t totally fix things, you are getting married and your family and friends are his family and friends now. Try not to think of it as it’s all your side coming.
Post # 12
If at all possible, see if you can have some sort of live camera feed during your wedding ceremony. Give his family the date and time and see if they can view it with you. If not, I do love everyone’s suggestion about having another ceremony in Poland. Poland has great scenery and gorgeous churches!
Post # 13
If you can, I would have the wedding here, than a wedding in Poland with his family in attendance. We did just that. We had our first wedding in India, then five months later the 2nd wedding in Pennsylvania. There was no way possible for all of his family or mine to travel from one country to the other so we had two weddings. Good luck! I hope it all works out for you and the rest of the family. 🙂
Post # 14
I would say, pack up the wedding dress, go to Polland & have a second wedding while your there!