Post # 1
okay, here’s the situation.. we are getting married on sunday with a lunch reception. wedding will end…then we will still be entertaining relatives and having dinner, etc..
my fiance’s uncle is flying in for the weekend for the wedding from taiwan. he is leaving sunday night. the relatives (a lot of people) are all sending him off to the airport. the groom (my fiance) told me that he is going too. he doesn’t care if i go, but he is going.
i told him that the rest of the relatives can send him to the airport, but he should stay with me. isn’t the whole point of getting married to be together?? …and it’s our wedding night. he is going to leave from about 8-11pm on our wedding night. isn’t he suppose to rest and spend time with me??
it’s not about the time…but the whole concept of it. advice on what to do/say.. thanks!!
Post # 3
I would be angry if i were you, too. Maybe paint a picture of what it’ll be like. describe how much fun the day will be, what you guys will be doing… “then, everybody will pick up and leave, and after cleaning up alone, I will be sitting, removing my make up, taking off my dress, putting on my pajamas, and falling asleep after a long day, alone in our honeymoon suite. Do you really think that should be your priority?”
I would be so flipping mad haha.
Post # 4
Is this a cultural thing? Maybe it something really important to do with his family in his culture. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Especially because where are they going to hang out in the airport? Only ticketed passengers can go past security.
Post # 5
I’d probably be upset too; it’s your wedding night, for goodness sake! But, try and see where he’s coming from. How often does your fiance get to see his uncle? Are they close? Is his family very close and tight-knit? Is he receiving family pressures you don’t know about to be with everyone at the airport?
Not that I’m on board with his decision (I’d be completely where you are at right now), I’m just trying to see what’s going on with him, too. Maybe you could explain that you dreamt of the wedding night as the two of you retreating and hiding from the world as it’s the first chance to truly celebrate your marriage alone. Perhaps your Fiance is worried that’s the only extended time he’ll get to spend with this uncle, is on the way to the airport? Perhaps you could suggest he be freed from some wedding obligations specifically for him to spend time with his uncle. Maybe you could suggest that his uncle be with him and all his groomsmen as they prepare for the wedding.
*sigh* I’m not sure what to offer other than a good heart to heart with him to try and figure out just why it’s so important he’d leave his (literally) brand new wife on their wedding night. You also need a chance to explain why it’s so important to YOU for you two to be together that night. You’d think it’s obvious, but men sometimes…lol gotta love ’em.
Either way, good luck!
Post # 6
Why can’t you go with him? His family is your family now, too, and it would be a nice gesture, particularly if this person is flying halfway around the world in no small part to attend your wedding.
Post # 7
He couldn’t have stayed until Monday? eh, I see what teaandtoast says about going too, but it’s your wedding night. 3 hours at the airport for a send off seems excessive no matter how you cut it, but especially a couple hours after you say I Do.
Post # 8
i really don’t see what the big deal is. the uncle flew all the way out here for YOUR wedding. at least let his nephew send him off.
Post # 9
Well.. him saying he doesn’t care if you come or not, but he will be going is kinda harsh…
And I do understand you wanting to spend your first night together.
And the fact that other family members will be at the airport also.
However, his uncle travels for one weekend from very far to come celebrate your wedding. And, you have your whole lives to be together. I think you should go to the airport with your new family and thank him for coming all the way there. It’s just a few hours, it will show how grateful and graceful you are; and you will get romantic alone time not long after.
It’s worth it, and you’ll earn big points with your husband and his family for being there.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s like a 3hr send off. 3hr mostly includes getting everybody into carpools and traveling time, and parking time…etc.
I’m assuming that your groom is quite close to his uncle and his uncle must be super busy to not be able to stay another day. If that’s the case, go with him. I think it’s reasonable. Whomever your groom is close to/respects immensely, you should also respect at least. The fact he flew like a 24 hr round trip just to spend the weekend means that he put a lot of effort into coming to celebrate your nuptials.
If you go with him, you’ll be spending time not only with your groom but also with his family, which is important. It would be kind of a like an extended family gathering post-reception. When u guys get back, you’ll still have the whole night and life time in front of you!
Post # 11
I’d probably be upset too. In fact, I know I would. His uncle should be able to understand why he can’t send him off.
Post # 12
I’d be upset that he doesn’t see the problem in the senarior of him going and you staying and that spending that time with you is not important to him. However, if it is important to him that he be there at the send off I’d probably go with him. I don’t know it could also be that he has no idea how emotional the wedding/after wedding part is likely to be (not has to be but often is) and will be surprised at how important that time with you is to him. I’d talk to him more on this but not necessarily hold firm on not going to the airport.
Post # 13
Yes, I say go with him! You earn points, spend time with your new husband and new family, and what the heck, go in your wedding dress and get lots of compliments and congratulations! WOO HOO! It’ll be a fun adventure! His uncle has come a long way, and this seems important to your Fiance…talk to him about it, but I think going is a great gesture!
Post # 14
i understand saying goodbye to an overseas relative… but 3 hours on your wedding night? uncalled for, you need to talk to your Fiance about it!! i would be equally as upset if not more!
Post # 15
well, it was his uncle’s choice to fly in and out for our wedding. we are spending time with them after the wedding…and dinner. i don’t know how to persuade him not to go…in a nice way…
i guess his family usually ALL go to the airport to send any of his relatives, but this is his wedding day/night. it’s not just any day.
it’s not about the time but the concept of it. i know i will be less happy on my wedding day…and unhappy on my wedding night. so i want to talk it through and resolve it before then.
before this, i was really happy and looking forward to enjoying our day…being really really happy. *sigh*
Post # 16
Yeah, go in your dress, woohooo! lol.
In all reality, yes, I would be pissed at first. BUT….I’m also thinking that by 8-11pm, you might still be entertaining these relatives. Having dinner with them, having wine, whatever. So you’d all leave as a group to go to the airport…..it’s not like everybody left, you guys are having alone time, then he’s all “ok it’s time to see my uncle at the airport”. I get the impression (and i could just extrapolating this) that after the airport, the night is over. Your wedding sounds very family-orientated to me.
And this guy DID travel a VERY long distance for what is essentially a half day event. I think that in itself deserves an extra special appreciation–if he was from the States, I’d say “psh, you can see him later”. It’s a way of showing thanks.
If it meant that much to my husband, I’d go. I wouldn’t stay home.
Edit: I’d tell him he “owes” me, though. =]