(Closed) Groom taking over wedding planning?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would PAY for that lol…it takes my fiancé days for simple wedding projects like updating wedding website or making a list of our favorite music etc. I end up taking over lol. Enjoy it and it’s great that he wants to do this stuff. It will work out fine…just make sure you monitor!!! Haha

Post # 3
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Don’t know if it would make you feel better or not…. there was a short lived Canadian show called Rich Groom, Poor Groom (it had a sister series called Rich Bride, Poor Bride) that showed grooms planning the wedding. It is on Hulu. It was pretty cute and the guys did a really great job! Even though some decisions were questionable. Like when they picked out the wedding dress (eek!)

Post # 4
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I got married a couple of days ago and thankfully had a fiance like yours! While we made all the decisions together, he did lots more of the mundane tasks like contacting vendors and requesting quotes, booking dance lessons etc.

He also did all of the website which was a godsend. I did the little details like centrepieces and decor aide of things but to be honest, the two weeks leading up to the wedding were the only times I felt really busy. Until then, I just had a checklist of things that needed sorting then just kind of mentally mapped ut out. The day went brilliantly and I’m so grateful to have a guy who wanted to be as involved in the planning as he was. 

I’d say let him go for it and just make sure you actually agree everything together before it is all finalised. Good luck! 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by thecaravan.
Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee

There are dozens of wedding planning sites, lists and spreadsheets. I’d say find one you like while you have time and populate it with the things you actually DO care about. Most of these spreadsheets have target dates on, so you should be able to periodically just glance at it and see that everything is on track. 

I’m not saying he won’t be able to do it, if anything i think my husband was often better at the decision making because he doesn’t get bogged down in unimportant details like I did, because I was more emotionally invested. I just think it would be better for your peace of mind (and therefore your concentration on your exams) if you can have a little visibility of the progress. 

Post # 6
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Try to catch the UK show ‘Don’t tell the bride’! Seriously, though, that’s so considerate of your Fiance. Depending on your style, a good planning tool that you can keep you sighted at high level might be useful.

Post # 7
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Waldorf Astoria, Orlando

View original reply
lycheecat:  While my FH has taken a back seat to the wedding… He “forces” me to opt for the more fairytale/bigger wedding themes because it is something that I had discussed with him when I was much younger and described as wanting. So there have been times when he has found things like venues, cake decorators, food vendors, and favors to show me but I wouldn’t say he’s taken charge. He also has told me things like “I don’t think that you really want that, sweetheart.” Or “Pick out something nicer..”

I mean, we have been saving for three years for our wedding. So I understand him wanting to spend the money we allocated for this fund on the actual event. But as I go to spend it, I feel guilty. *sigh* I don’t know.

 

However, I KNOW if I handed him the keys to the wedding and went off to do my own thing (especially for educational purposes) I would come back to a phenomenal wedding.. Probably a heck of a lot more glamorous and beautiful that I had planned on my own. My wedding colors night be changed from Blush, Silver, and Ivory to Navy, Silver and White but it’s something I could totally live with!

 

Trust your FH. He wouldn’t put himself in a position to disappoint you on purpose. If you are planning to spend the rest of your lives together, then I think he gets *you*.

It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t show him your vision beforehand.. Or give him the tools he needs to succeed. (Wedding Bee, The Knot, Whatever you’re using for inspiration or information!)

 

It’ll be alright!

Post # 8
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

 

 

View original reply
lycheecat:  

I would LOVE if my Fiance did the majority of the planning! He does help when I ask him to and is pretty good about it, but I’m the one with the to-do list, researching vendors, decorations, etc.

Why not make a list of things that ARE important to you and that you know you want? That way he’s aware of a few things that are “must-have’s” for you and is sure not to forget them. You could also show him a few wedding planning guideline lists, like the ones you find on Pinterest, that way he can cross things off as they are done and is sure he’s not forgetting anything. Most importantly…just trust him 🙂 I don’t think he would have offered if he wasn’t confident in his abilities!

Post # 9
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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lycheecat:  My Fiance is doing the lion’s share of our planning, mostly because he wanted to have a wedding more than I did. I have to nudge him a little to do things, but he’s a lot more decisive than me and when he sits down to do something it gets done quickly. 

A lot of his planning process has been “well, this DJ did my brother’s wedding, he was good, he’s available, let’s just do that” or “this hotel is a half mile from the reception so let’s put the block there”. No dithering, very rational, and since a lot of the stress over decisions has come from his mother (who has expensive taste), it takes a lot of the heat off me. He can handle his mother a lot more readily than I can.

He did defer to me on his suit and the groomsmen suits, but mostly to the extent of “I like both of these, I would be comfortable in either of them, which do you like better?”

I’m totally okay with it haha!

Post # 10
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
autumn_amber:  Yes some of the Don’t Tell the Bride weddings are seriously great!  Like the Jane Austen themed one.  So cute.  (Of course the fun ones to watch are like…the not great ones…but it is reality TV after all.)

My fiance isn’t doing most of it but he’s really involved.  If we were in the same country right now he’d be doing half the planning!  If it’s right for you to have your groom take over the planning I think that’s amazing!

Post # 11
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
lycheecat:  My DH helped with the wedding planning and I was so grateful for his assistance.  I’d suggest having periodic check-ins with your Fiance to see what he has arranged, and if you are still a bit anxious, ask him to quickly run by you any big decisions before he makes a final choice.  That way he is doing most of the work but you are still in the loop.

Good luck with your exams!!

Post # 12
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee

I love my Fiance, but if he took over the bulk of the wedding planning, our wedding would be a disaster. Being detail-oriented is just not his strong suit unless it relates to his job, and neither are aesthetics. Personally, I’d ask my mom to step in and take over the bulk of the wedding planning before I would ask my Fiance. Not that I don’t want or ask his opinion, just that I don’t think he would do a good job of running the show.

I think this completely depends on your groom, though.

Post # 15
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
lycheecat:  perfect for a weekend night in and a glass of vino 😜

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